Nano Surveillance Breakthrough, Exposed.

Source: 33rdsquare.com

ATLANTA, GA – The next time you find a fly in your beer, it may not be doing the backstroke; it may be watching you.

Nanolook Systems of Atlanta, GA has announced a breakthrough nanobot surveillance. The only problem is, they can’t exactly ‘bare’ their results.

“Each of our bots carries a very small camera,” explained Chief Test Engineer, Bruce Pompanito. “One of these cameras can only give us a blurry image of a large object, or a clear image of part of the same object. With a swarm, many cameras can be focused on the same thing, each snapping a part of the whole picture. Then our computers compile all the small bits of picture together to produce one clear image. Just recently, some of our developers tried out a different control algorithm in a totally unsanctioned test. The results were huge, and amounted to years of advancement in a single evening.”

Sitting in the company break room, I asked Pompanito when he planned to release the images captured during that special night.

“We really can’t. You have to understand,” he explained. “This was an unauthorized test.”

“So the bots were flown into a classified facility?”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Illegal access to a private home?”

“Of course not!”

“Then what’s the problem? This is really big news. The publicity from your photo results is guaranteed to get investors for your company.”

“I understand that,” moaned Pompanito. “It’s just that our developers are rather young and inclined towards fascinations that younger folk have.”

“So they infiltrated a government office and sifted through records of lobbyist donations and ‘off the books’ campaign donations?”

“No, no.” Pompanito sighed. “They flew the bots into the girl’s dressing room at a stripper bar.”

“Ah ha. At last the truth is laid bare.”

“It was my fault. I didn’t keep abreast of the developments.”

“Even if you can’t publish the results, were the photos good looking enough?”

“Glorious! Just perfect. I mean, yes, they possessed the qualities we were hoping for. The photo quality that is.”

“This certainly puts you in the ‘pole position’ doesn’t it?”

“Exactly. We’re way ahead of the curve…in the surveillance field.”

We ended the interview there. Mr. Pompanito became afflicted with a debilitating case of blushing. Since the actual location of their successful test has been revealed, the “Go Girls Go Gentleman’s Club,” has announced that it plans to file suit for breach of privacy and copyright violation. Nanolook Systems has shuttered it’s doors with no expected date to reopen. Authorities have requested that Nanolook Systems turn over all unauthorized images. The beleaguered company plans to comply immediately.

Some of the “ladies” at the gentleman’s club are also filing suit against the club, claiming that they are the legal copyright owners of some of the first “nano-porn” ever produced. As such, the ladies might have some very valuable property in their hands.

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
This entry was posted in Military, Science, Short Fiction, United States and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Nano Surveillance Breakthrough, Exposed.

  1. Henceforth, I will always cover my glass of beer with a coaster, because I’m not keen on watching the inside of my stomach on YouTube.

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  2. Dina says:

    🙂 🙂 🙂

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  3. Ryan H says:

    Hahah! Awesome! I’m a sucker for wordplay and thoroughly enjoyed the back and forth with Pompanito! (missed a couple the first time through…also nice one in your comment response above) 😉

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  4. Superb, therein rests the solutions!!!!!

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  5. julespaige says:

    The title drew me in. Hubby works with automation, but on a much ‘larger’ scale. I think he’ll enjoy this…
    Best pun for engineers…P U = 2rds of a PUN

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    • EagleAye says:

      Most cool. I hope your husband enjoys it, and the puns too. Let me know if I pun-tificate too much…

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      • julespaige says:

        Never enough…half the fun of word play is all the ‘double’ meanings.
        As is your ‘Aye,’ I explain on some of my blogs…my ‘name’ de plume is a pun –
        JulesPaige = words are like Jewels on a Page…

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      • EagleAye says:

        Oho! Well done. I didn’t realize that. I call my sister, “Jules” all the time instead of “Julie.” I didn’t expect it was word play in your case.

        Glad to “see” you got the “Aye” part. Not everybody does. Clever. I’ll have to keep my “aye” on you.

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      • julespaige says:

        Names are strange. I knew a gent Named Jules (I guess like Julius) and he was called Julie. I started web life about four years ago…(blogging only about two). I also have a grandmother and cousin named Julia. Anyway at the time the Movie Julia (Childs) and Julie had come out. And in the movie the hubby called his wife Jules.

        I’ve been mistaken for a gent myself. But I don’t mind. I started out as JulesPaige…the Paige part really is a gal’s name. No space because the site I was on didn’t allow for them. It’s just my ‘writing’ friends that shortened the name, and caused all the ‘problems’ *giggle*.

        I am more a poet, but Flash Fiction is turning out to be a total blast. Just a different form of poetic justice to stuff stories into small spaces. Sort of the same thing as a poem…only different. 🙂

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      • EagleAye says:

        I think with Jules Verne still being taught, “Jules” will be expected to be a male’s name. I still like your nom de plume. It’s clever.

        I’m enjoying the flash fiction more than I thought I would. Normally when I write I just roll for pages at a time. It’s like I’m running out in a field and stretching my legs with every stride. Flash fiction seem seems restraining to me. On the other hand, it’s helping me sharpen my writing. Every word counts for a lot and must be carefully weighed. I spend much more time with editing than the writing. It’s a great exercise.

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