ATLANTA, GA – The next time you find a fly in your beer, it may not be doing the backstroke; it may be watching you.
Nanolook Systems of Atlanta, GA has announced a breakthrough nanobot surveillance. The only problem is, they can’t exactly ‘bare’ their results.
“Each of our bots carries a very small camera,” explained Chief Test Engineer, Bruce Pompanito. “One of these cameras can only give us a blurry image of a large object, or a clear image of part of the same object. With a swarm, many cameras can be focused on the same thing, each snapping a part of the whole picture. Then our computers compile all the small bits of picture together to produce one clear image. Just recently, some of our developers tried out a different control algorithm in a totally unsanctioned test. The results were huge, and amounted to years of advancement in a single evening.”
Sitting in the company break room, I asked Pompanito when he planned to release the images captured during that special night.
“We really can’t. You have to understand,” he explained. “This was an unauthorized test.”
“So the bots were flown into a classified facility?”
“No, that’s not it.”
“Illegal access to a private home?”
“Of course not!”
“Then what’s the problem? This is really big news. The publicity from your photo results is guaranteed to get investors for your company.”
“I understand that,” moaned Pompanito. “It’s just that our developers are rather young and inclined towards fascinations that younger folk have.”
“So they infiltrated a government office and sifted through records of lobbyist donations and ‘off the books’ campaign donations?”
“No, no.” Pompanito sighed. “They flew the bots into the girl’s dressing room at a stripper bar.”
“Ah ha. At last the truth is laid bare.”
“It was my fault. I didn’t keep abreast of the developments.”
“Even if you can’t publish the results, were the photos good looking enough?”
“Glorious! Just perfect. I mean, yes, they possessed the qualities we were hoping for. The photo quality that is.”
“This certainly puts you in the ‘pole position’ doesn’t it?”
“Exactly. We’re way ahead of the curve…in the surveillance field.”
We ended the interview there. Mr. Pompanito became afflicted with a debilitating case of blushing. Since the actual location of their successful test has been revealed, the “Go Girls Go Gentleman’s Club,” has announced that it plans to file suit for breach of privacy and copyright violation. Nanolook Systems has shuttered it’s doors with no expected date to reopen. Authorities have requested that Nanolook Systems turn over all unauthorized images. The beleaguered company plans to comply immediately.
Some of the “ladies” at the gentleman’s club are also filing suit against the club, claiming that they are the legal copyright owners of some of the first “nano-porn” ever produced. As such, the ladies might have some very valuable property in their hands.