One Thing Better – Trifecta

Written for the Trifecta Writing Challenge. A story about an amazing physical feature begins after the photo.

Genre: Humor

One Thing Better

Jenny was a sweet girl with a soft voice and a heart-warming smile. These endearing qualities were overshadowed by one thing.

Her tush.

Everyone in Jenny’s home town of Heffeberg, TX will tell you her tush is a world beater…but there’s one thing better.

Even so, because of Jenny’s tush, distracted drivers hit 4 cars, 3 telephone poles, and a pizza delivery man. On any given day, a crowd of transfixed young men could be seen following her as she walked to work at the pet hospital. In one year, 4 were hospitalized with concussions after walking into lamp posts, 6 men broke ankles while tripping on unseen curbs, and one lesbian fractured her tibia while walking into fire hydrant. Jenny’s tush has been replicated in bronze and it now resides in the Smithsonian Institute.

Howard Potsdam (aka, “Jam4bootay”) had made millions by the time he was 20. His hip-hop hits included “Booty, Oh That Booty” and “What a Wonderful Booty” (featuring Louis Armstrong). It was his videos that really made his money, though, with girls upon girls shaking that…well, you know. With all his fame and riches, Jam4bootay was used to taking certain liberties with the video girls’ booties.

He cruised through the quiet streets of Heffeberg on his way to Dallas to film his next music video. Perchance, he looked over to see Jenny on her way to work…and then he ran into a bicycle rack.

He got out and followed Jenny, his hand quivering in anticipation.

“Careful!” said a passing old woman. “Her tush is great, but there’s one thing better.”

Jam4bootay ignored her and continued. Three times more, people offered the same warning. He ignored them. He caught up to her and reached out, and grabbed her butt…

He awoke in the hospital.

“Don’t sit up!” said the nurse. “You have a fractured skull.”

“What happened?”

“You grabbed Jenny’s tush.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Only one thing is better than Jenny’s tush.”

“People keep saying that! What is this one thing better?”

“Jenny’s spinning back kick.”
______________________

This week’s Trifecta writing challenge is to to write between 33 and 333 words including the third definition of: tush. Here’s the prompt: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2013/12/trifecta-week-106.html

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
This entry was posted in Short Fiction and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to One Thing Better – Trifecta

  1. Another wonderful and very funny short-short story! Good stuff!

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  2. Bloody hilarious! Can’t say he wasn’t warned… Thanks for linking up!

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  3. Hahaha Everyone means everyone but the male kind, apparently! lol

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    • EagleAye says:

      Oh, the males in Heffeberg had already learned their lesson. They were too embarrassed to talk about it much. It’s the out-of-towners who get the shock of their lives! Thanks for stopping in!

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  4. J. Milburn says:

    Love this! Always be aware that women do actually have other parts than what gets focused on in pop culture, and some are those parts are dangerous πŸ˜‰

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    • EagleAye says:

      Yup! And this time it was the three-inch heel of her boot up-side jam4bootay’s head. Some folks don’t know where fantasy ends and reality begins. That transition can be painful for the unaware. πŸ˜‰

      Thanks much for stopping by and commenting!

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  5. atrm61 says:

    Ha!ha!EA I almost died laughing-a great kick -tush story πŸ˜‰

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  6. jannatwrites says:

    Hahaha! He kind of deserved it πŸ™‚ I can’t help but think that no one told him the one thing better because they wanted to see him get what they already got!

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    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. He DID deserve it. It’s one thing to grab at the girls in the videos who knew his reputation. Jenny didn’t know him from Adam. It’s not like such a thing had never happened to her, thus her developing a spinning back kick.

      But you’ve understood the folks of her town well. They do give him “fair” warning, but leave enough off so that a dummy has no idea of what the consequences are. You can be sure the town folk have a good laugh when “another” out of towner gets hospitalized.

      Thanks for stopping in! πŸ™‚

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  7. Draug419 says:

    haha Yes!

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  8. Ha! Love that she can kick some tush!!

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  9. Shey says:

    Loved this, very funny!

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