Battle Psychedelia – The Speakeasy at Yeah Write

Art by: Brian Exton

Battle Psychedelia

Joe walked into the botanical lab like he owned the place, the same way he entered anything. “Yo, Pete! What’s shakin’?”

Peter very nearly dropped his petri dish at the high-decibel, staccato blast of Joe’s inside voice. “Jesus, Joe! Could you announce yourself with less volume than a Led Zeppelin concert?”

“Yeah, Zeppelin! You know they cracked the King Dome in Seattle once, right?”

“My point exactly.”

“Speaking of that, we still on for The Phish tomorrow?”

Peter applied one final, perfectly measured, drop to the petri dish and sealed it up. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He smiled.

“Semper Fi!” boomed Joe. This time, Peter did drop the petri dish.

“Dammit, Joe! I hate that militaristic crap.”

“What? Joe found a bowl of salad sitting in the counter. He dove in and grabbed a handful. The pungent leaves were very tasty. “Mmm, this is really good, Pete. You make this?”

Peter whirled. “Joe! Don’t eat that! I don’t know all the properties yet.”

Joe saw his expression and spat the leaves out on command. “What is it?”

“A hybrid strain of Poppy leaves.”

“What’ll it do?”

“I only know it’ll put you in a dream state, and strangely, one that someone sitting next to you can share. Thing is, I don’t know what kind of dreams.”

“Oh shii-aaahh…” Joe leaned against a table and slumped to the floor.

“You won’t know how to get out of that without me, Joe.” Angrily, he stuffed the leaves into his mouth.

***

A green army man stepped up to Joe. “Preparations ready, sir!”

“Very well,” said Joe, gazing out over the Strawberry Fields that went on Forever. He’d chosen the battleground wisely. The Red Meanies would have a difficult time in this terrain.

“Hey Joe! Where you goin’ with that gun in your hand?” said Peter, breathing hard after running to the HQ.

“It’s a war, Peter. Isn’t it obvious?”

Peter looked around at unicorns hauling cannon that fired actual grapes, Pixies toting machine guns that fired streams of flowers, and newspaper taxis moving green army men to entrenched positions. “Oh yeah. It’s so clear.”

“Sir!” said a green army lieutentant. “The General is approaching.”

“At last!” sighed Joe. “I’m not really an officer. I’m just filling in until a proper military commander arrives. This is a relief.”

Joe and Peter turned to see The General climbing the hill. All they could see was his head as he advanced upwards. Clearly, he was a Rhino. His horn was enormous, a tool for destroying enemies. His armored skin, powerful enough to repel heavy-caliber bullets, reflected the sunlight like bronze armor. Eyes squinted critically at the formations of defending soldiers. At last, he crested the hill…and wobbled a bit on his stiletto heels.

He smoothed his pink mini-skirt and called to Joe and Peter. “Fellas! Oh hi, fellas! Isn’t it a lovely day for a war?” He ran toward them, taking dainty, tiny steps. “How’s it going? Are we ready?”

Hesitantly, Joe saluted. “Uh, all is ready, sir.”

“Yes! Oh, take another piece of my heart now, baby!” The general twirled. “Oh look! Pretty flowers. Those will look wonderful on our shooty-thingees! This will be great for morale!” The General skipped away.

Joe looked crestfallen. Peter patted his back. “Forget it, Joe.”

“Some things can’t be forgotten.”

“Joe. You know this is only a dream, right?”

“I know! I’ve been trying to get out for a week now.”

“Really? I just now arrived.”

“The way I see it, the way out is to win this war.” On the opposite hillside, goblins and orcs charged, brandishing fiendish weapons of the Red Meanies. “Major Bloom,” said Joe to his radio. “The center must hold.”

“It’s not the war,” said Peter. “It’s the last thing you were thinking when entering this dream. Focus on that and we’ll both wake up!”

“That was a week ago. I don’t remember.” He keyed the radio. “Major Rainbow. Send in the Plasticene Porters with Looking Glass Ties. That should blind the enemy.”

Joe grinned until he saw Sand Worms crashing through the Cellophane Flowers. “Damn! That’s too much for us.” He picked up a Gardenia bazooka. “Only one thing to do.” He charged, screaming, “Semper Fi!”

*poof*

They awoke in the lab, both relieved they exited the dream.

“You know what you did wrong, right?” said Peter.

“I sure do. I’ll never do THAT again.”

Thank you!

“Next time, I’ll send in the Rocking Horse People to hit their flank!”
________________________________
If you think this contained too many references to the Beatle’s, “Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds” and other Psychedelic Rock, blame the folks at Speakeasy. They got me started. The weekly Speakeasy writing prompt is limited to 750 words and must contain a certain sentence in a certain location. This time, “Some things can’t be forgotten.” could be located anywhere in the story. Here’s this week’s prompt: http://www.yeahwrite.me/speakeasy/144-open/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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28 Responses to Battle Psychedelia – The Speakeasy at Yeah Write

  1. J. Milburn says:

    I’d would say I wish I thought of this, but I’m glad I didn’t. I wouldn’t have a Cellophane Flowers chance against a crashing Sand Worm of pulling it off so well 😉 By the way, where can I pick up Psychic Dream Poppies? They sound like fun 😀 Great story!

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      And I’m quite proud to day I wrote it without the aid of “chemical assistance.” Well…maybe a couple shots of Rum (that doesn’t count, does it?) Unfortunately, the hybrid poppies only exist in my mind and are not in full production yet. I’ll be sure to let you know when they’re available. 😉 Thanks kindly for reading!

      Like

  2. James Bulls says:

    That was a lot of fun! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Like

  3. That was fun! Great way to use the prompt!

    Like

  4. jannatwrites says:

    That was a wild dream! The last line cracked me up… of course he wouldn’t learn to not eat stuff in a lab without asking 🙂

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. It’s hard to imagine someone who would just start eating something laying around in…a lab! But that’s Joe. Glad you got a laugh. Thanks much for reading!

      Like

  5. Eleenie says:

    Haha! That was really fun reading! 🙂

    Like

  6. Suzanne says:

    LOL! I love this, Eric! And I will accept full responsibility for sending your brain on that mission. 😉

    I particularly love the General’s character. A rhino in stilettos. Those are some powerful poppies.

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! Thanks Suzanne! The prompt page was so full of song references I couldn’t resist continuing it. I hoped someone would enjoy The General. I thought he was a fun counterpoint to Joe. Thanks so much for your thoughts and comments! 🙂

      Like

  7. Lala Rukh says:

    Oh My 😀 It was really fun…Love their ream it was so movie-like. I haven’t heard the Beatles and I can’t point out where you’d used the references but I enjoyed the story overall. Wonderfully illustrated.

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Thanks Lala! There’s even references to Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin (two other psychedelic rock artists), but as long as you had fun that’s all that counts. Thanks very much for reading. I appreciate it. 🙂

      Like

  8. Christina says:

    dear lord this was hysterical!! 🙂

    Like

  9. Very entertaining! Excellent use of dialogue, and the cannon-wielding unicorns cracked me up!

    Like

  10. Danny James says:

    Found myself singing along with the lyrics. You sure worked a lot of them in. Great work. Perhaps another award for this one.

    DJ

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Yeah, I did too. I even had music playing as a wrote. It kept me in the music mood. I sure would like another award. We’ll have to see what happens. Thanks so much for swinging by. 🙂

      Like

  11. jenbrunett says:

    This was cool!! I love the songs in their quotes, too.

    Like

  12. Silverleaf says:

    That was so much fun! When you referenced Strawberry Fields, I laughed because for some reason I had that in my head when I started writing mine, but then all the rest of your many references took it to a whole other level. I really enjoyed reading this and the General was just too much; what a great creation!

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Thanks, Silverleaf! Yeah, I really ran with the song references. I was having too much fun to stop. I’m happy you had fun with The General and the story in general. Thanks much for your thoughts and for your visit!

      Like

  13. Shey says:

    psychedelic, dude! how fun.

    Like

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