Spell of a Woman – The Speakeasy

**Contains Mature content**

Spell of a Woman

Life had once been defined by linears and absolutes. That all changed when magic returned to the world. I’m not talking about card tricks magic. I mean fireballs, lightning, and the accursed illusions of witches.

In the midst of the social chaos that followed, the city formed the Metropolitan Magic Control Department (MMCD) to keep magical creatures from disrupting modern life. That’s where I came in. I seek out witches and prosecute the wicked.

“She’s dangerous!” bellowed bristle-haired Mr. Powell. He adjusted his carpenter’s tool belt. “All them witches are!”

“We’re scared!” shrieked the portly Mrs. Blausch in her pink house slippers.

Looking through binoculars at the suspect’s house, I saw vibrant colors with flowers and trees growing everywhere. “Her house looks nice.”

“Don’t be fooled by that illusion, Detective,” said Blausch. “Sometimes she drops it, and we see it’s true form. It’s full of dead trees and bones lay everywhere.”

“Folks, it isn’t against the law to be a witch.”

“What about this?” said Powell, holding up a toad. “Poor Billy Watkins. He was going to college!”

I looked carefully into the eyes of Blausch and Powell. I said, “Alright, I’ll check it out.”

The colors of everything around her house were brilliant. I saw a bright blue water pump before her vivid orange wall beside impossibly green grass. Flowers bloomed from every plant in a riot of color. I knocked on the door, and she opened it immediately. Bright red hair hung in curls to her waist, framing a heart-shaped face of perfect, porcelain skin. Her lips were like the bloom of a rose and her eyes were like sapphires. “Come in Detective Duncan,” she said, and walked away from the door, hips swaying gently.

Oh, she was a powerful witch alright. Could someone be so sultry, so perfect, without magical assistance? I knew I was in danger of falling to a powerful spell. Undeterred, I entered her house anyway. “Afternoon, Miss Anders.”

She spoke confidently, like a woman in control. “Call me, Heather.”

“Heather. I’m investigating the disappearance of Billy Watkins.”

She leaned against the wall, hips thrust forward. She spread her legs slightly and lifted her dress, exposing herself. “Perhaps you’ll find him here.”

This is how they get you. A spell alone isn’t enough to really hook someone. The release of human desire is the final spell component. Even knowing this, I couldn’t help myself, and I fell to my knees before her, drinking in the Honeysuckle and Pine scent of her. She held my hair, pulling me to her as she moaned. She had me, and I didn’t care.

***

I zipped up my pants and sat at her table with settings for coffee. As she collected the coffee pot in the kitchen, I squirted buttermilk from my bottle into the creamer. Common Buttermilk has the effect of temporarily canceling a witch’s powers. All MMCD officers keep some handy. Spell or not, I could still think.

She poured the coffee and mixed some creamer in. She took a sip and spluttered. She coughed and gagged. As I watched her reactions, I pulled my cell phone and called the station.

***

“Did you shoot her?” said Powell.

“Is she dead?” said Blausch.

As police officers gathered, I said, “No, but I know what happened.” Without warning, I squirted buttermilk into their faces. They spluttered and their illusions dropped immediately. The two withered and leathery hags dropped to their knees and officers placed them in handcuffs. I picked up the toad and handed it to another officer. “Take Mr. Watkins to the Spell Reversals.”

***

“I can see through illusions. I’m a witch,” I said.

“So you knew about them right away,” said Heather, gratefully drinking coffee sans buttermilk.

“Yep. But witches aren’t illegal. I still needed to investigate you. I realized immediately you can’t cast transmutation spells.” I paused. “How did you know I’d come?”

“Friends in the department. They arranged it.”

“Why?”

Her eyes were moist. “I saw you once. I fell for you…hard.”

“You were pretty forward.”

She looked away shyly. “The attraction is, overwhelming.”

“When I saw you, I felt the same.”

“Then why the buttermilk in my coffee?” She poked me. “It tasted awful!”

“I could tell you were a powerful witch and you’re so, amazing, to me. I had to be sure that feeling was real. Not attraction via magic.”

“And…?”

I took her hand, and kissed it. “It was a spell alright, but not magic. It was the Spell of a Woman.”
________________________
Every week, The Speakeasy draws writers from everywhere to compete for the best flash fiction (750 words max) by popular vote. This week, the prompt requires the story begins with the sentence, “Life had once been defined by linears and absolutes,” and must include a reference to the image below. Join us and write for fun and badges on your blog here: http://www.yeahwrite.me/speakeasy/151-open/

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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39 Responses to Spell of a Woman – The Speakeasy

  1. Danny James says:

    I squirted buttermilk from my bottle into the creamer. I’m still laughing! Jeez Eric, when does this come out in hard cover ๐Ÿ˜Ž

    DJ

    Like

  2. A.D. Everard says:

    Great witch! Terrific twist, too – and, my, that buttermilk is powerful stuff! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Like

  3. janisezayas1 says:

    Loving the play on words here. Made me blush a time or two haha =)

    Like

  4. Playful story your imagination never sieges to amaze me.

    Like

  5. ranu802 says:

    It’s an amazing story.

    Like

  6. jannatwrites says:

    Your creativity always gets me! From the forwardness of the witch, to buttermilk in the creamer to the unveiling of the character’s witch status, you held my interest. Great story!

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Thank you, Janna! I was going to have a little more fun with the buttermilk thing, and have them hurling buttermilk biscuits like grenades at the witches. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Not enough room for it, but I may explore this idea again. So glad the story worked for you. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  7. atrm61 says:

    Eric,my friend,you are something else-really,am still laughing!What a fantastic entertaining story this is-peppered with magic,dusted with humour,sprinkled with erotica,seasoned with witches and spies,it is a veritable feast for readers!Loved it all (even the double entendr’es,wink,wink).You definitely get my vote ๐Ÿ˜€

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe! Thanks Atreyee. This “magic has returned” world is one that I enjoy a lot. I guess that comes out in the writing. I’m glad to see you enjoyed my “recipe” for fun. Double-entendres and puns are some of my favorite things to add in.;) Thanks so much for your wonderful comments! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  8. I love a god witch story! But you had me at *mature content* ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Like

  9. tinsenpup says:

    Awesome! Lol! You really get a sense of the fun you had writing this and oh my goodness, it was very fun to read. Well done. You’ve got me smiling now. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe! So glad to hear that. Fun and smiles are what I was aiming for. Glad to hear to enjoyed the story, and I hope that smile stays with you for a while. Thanks for reading! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  10. Suzanne says:

    Goodness! Who knew witches could be so steamy? I love the places your brain takes you. This was such a fun read and so creative. Loved it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Hey, not all witches have to be old and covered in warts. How do you have a seventh daughter of a seventh daughter? By some witches being hot and sexy and enticing men into their bed, and thereby having daughters. The crone thing comes later…much later. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thanks so much for your lovely thoughts and for sharing them!

      Like

  11. Peggy Smith says:

    You have now described, to a tee, what these famous words were talking about, “Do you believe in magic, in young girl’s heart?” And turning up the volume on the colors surround a magic moment was brilliant.

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Oh yes, there’s much magic to found in a young woman’s heart. To find it, it only requires a man who can see with his own heart. So good to hear your thoughts on this one. Thanks for stopping and commenting.

      Like

  12. Silverleaf says:

    I’m always drawn to a story about witches and magic, but this was exceptionally fun! It left me smiling. Maybe there’s a reason I can’t stand buttermilk…

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Yay! I love to hear that. Smiles make the world go ’round. And if you can have a witch story at the same time, all the better! Stay away from buttermilk, and thanks for sharing your thoughts! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  13. Very clever! I have to agree with the earlier comment about having my attention (and some giddy trepidation) at “adult content.” LOL

    Like

  14. This was totally awesome! Creepy, funny, and sexy. Plus the pun. You have to write more.

    Like

  15. abarakat14 says:

    I like the whole thing xD
    the story in general is great with much mixed emotions xD
    good job ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Like

  16. List of X says:

    I’ve actually skipped this post because of the “mature content” warning while I was reading blogs at work in my cubicle. ๐Ÿ™‚ But then, of course, I had to come back and see what this was all about. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  17. Shey says:

    Sexy, very funny and engaging!

    Like

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