Wonderful Rhythm – Friday Fictioneers

Written for the Friday Fictioneers. A story, about a disastrous first date, begins after the photo.

Genre: Romance/Humor

Photo by: Melanie Greenwood

Wonderful Rhythm

Jack pointed at the table and chairs. “It happened right there,” he smiled.

“Our first date,” grinned Annette.

“You had a pimple.”

“Your suit was rumpled.”

“You showed me your watch.”

“…Then the runaway ambulance jumped the curb and hit you.”

Jack winced. “But I knew you loved me already, because you visited me in the hospital.”

“I wanted my watch back.”

“Oh. You loved that watch.”

“It ticked a wonderful rhythm.”

“You weren’t in love then?” sighed Jack.

“Not yet.”

“I thought when you put your head on my chest…”

“I felt sorry.”


“Then I realized…your heart beats this wonderful rhythm.”
Every week, the Friday Fictioneers meet at a cafe in Boston to eat octopus and pineapple pizza (not really), and imagine flash fiction stories from a photo prompt. Look here to find the other stories inspired the photo above: http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/10/29/31-october-2014/

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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37 Responses to Wonderful Rhythm – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Caerlynn Nash says:

    I hate to repeat a comment, but Awwww! Lovely.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. *sniff* that was beautiful *sniff* 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Archon's Den says:

    I’ll go with*sniff, sniff* too, but don’t tell anyone. 😯

    Liked by 1 person

  4. J says:

    Oh, what a beautiful ending! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is exactly the way that lovers repeat their stories to each other. Nicely written.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. wildbilbo says:

    This is a sweet story 🙂 Nicely done.


  7. Lyn says:

    Awww… that was beautiful, Eric. I could hear them talking so clearly.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Rajesh says:

    Loved the “I want my Watch back”. Normally a male response and then the falling in love, but a good twist..


  9. Oh, this is so sweet. Who knew you were so romantic? Took me by surprise, nice work.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Indira says:

    Sweet twist. Nice story.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Danny James says:

    Change of pace for you?



  12. That was a beautiful story, best I’ve read so far.


  13. True love with a great misdirected dialogue. Fun. Randy

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Dear Eric,

    I think this might be one of your best ever. So sweet and funny in its simplicity. Love it.



    Liked by 1 person

  15. Margaret says:

    Clever dialogue. It has a wonderful rhythm too.


  16. Eric, Sweet story with a lovely happy ending. Well written. 🙂 — Susan

    Liked by 1 person

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