Day 632 stuck as a werewolf.
Here’s my story in a nutshell. February 2, 2023: Magic returns to the world. Spells that were only quaint and amusing before suddenly worked. I found a spell that would “temporarily” turn me into a werewolf. Unfortunately, like anything else you find on the internet, it’s not always tested out by professionals. If something is free, buyer beware. I’m now permanently hairy and constantly hungry. I still haven’t found a reversal spell to make me human again. Oh, there’s one posted at http://wizurdhome.ru. Thing is, when somebody can’t spell “wizard” right, I’m not ready to swallow a live electric eel when someone says so.
I like university campuses, mostly because they have a lot of pizza joints. I earn pizzas protecting the weak. I just hang out nearby until some football player frat boy decides to pick on a geek half his size. It happens nearly every night. I stand 8’4″ tall and weigh about 474 pounds (give or take a deep dish pizza). Being bulletproof on top of it makes me nearly invulnerable. So when trouble happens I usually just roar in a guy’s face and he runs for the hills. This particular night, Buck MacGurskey (All-State Defensive End, 372 pounds) threw a 135 pound rocket scientist through a window. I showed up, did my routine, and waited. It seemed MacGurskey drank a case of Bud Light too many and wanted to fight. He took me by surprise, to be honest. I mean, I just reacted, you know?
Anyway, I’m sure the medical technology of 2027 can put the pieces of his jaw back in place.
Am I on a tangent? Sorry. Old man Antonio sent me home with his thanks and a couple large pepperonis. I arrived at Harlow’s Creek where there’s a little bridge crossing over it. That’s when this huge greenish form bent some of the bridge’s steel supports while climbing onto the walkway. It was a troll. Any of you living under rock the past four years might think trolls are a myth. When magic returned to the world, so did the monsters. This troll was pretty typical, standing 12 feet tall with arms the size of tree trunks. “It’s an unlucky day for YOU, traveler,” it grated. “Time to pay the toll, or say the password.”
I knew I could take him, but I just had a fight. I decided to pay the toll.
In this modern society, even before magic returned, nobody says anything completely anymore. People say “L-O-L” instead of “Laughing Out Loud.” Likewise, on college campuses nobody says, “Pizza.” They just say, “‘Za.” It’s understood. I pulled out a couple slices of ‘za. In any university pizza is the universal currency. It’s ALWAYS accepted. It’s better than Visa. I offered it the pizza slices and said, “‘Za?”
The troll wailed and screamed and pulled at its sparse hair. It slumped onto the bridge. “300 years. 300!” it shrieked. “Nobody guessed the password! How did you know?”
What a dummy! Passwords should be longer than that. When I changed my Yahoo password, it had to be at least 8 characters. Sheesh! I felt sorry for it, so I gave it the slices anyway and crossed the Troll Bridge. Thinking back, it all kinda makes sense. If ‘Za is the universal currency, then ‘Za should be the universal password!
Every week, Alastair Forbes tosses an original photo into the witches brew of imagination. From there, we are lucky to write flash fiction based upon the photo: Look here for more stories based upon the photo above: http://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2014/11/30/sunday-photo-fiction-november-30th-2014/