The Fluffies – Grammar Ghoul Press

Art by Dan May

The Fluffies

Heiress Evita Evangeline Elga grunted as a pirate behind her shoved her once more. “Barbarian!” she spat over her shoulder. She received another shove in response. She winced at the thought of dirty hand prints on her formal dress. She’d never expected to be kidnapped during a wedding party. If she had, she wouldn’t have worn her beautiful lavender dress. “Grubby!” she called to the lead pirate walking ahead of her. “I must protest your men laying hands upon me. Have you no control over your animals?”

The lead pirate slowed and walked beside her. “I’ve told you many times, it’s Hal’Aliki. Sheik Hal’Aliki!” His scarred grey eye glared from his sun-shriveled features.

“Whatever, Grubby. I’ve met sheiks before.” She gestured at his worn, coarse clothing. “You’re not one of them.”

Angrily, he pointed to the eight men behind him. “I am a sheik! When we seize control from my uncle no one will question this. You must never doubt it.” He spat on the ground. “On my planet no woman speaks to man like you do.” He thrust his finger in her face. “Perhaps I won’t ransom you off after all. I’ll keep you on Al Kavarak where you’ll learn a woman’s place. It is better to live there anyway. Not so cold like this planet.”

During his diatribe, Evita nodded to a chirping bird in low branches. Having received her acknowledgment, it flew off. When Grubby turned back to her, Evita gestured at the trees around them and the soft loam on the trail. “It’s not cold. It’s a season called, ‘Fall.'” She pointed at the barren trees. “Come Spring these trees will burst with leaves, fruit, and singing birds. It’s not lifeless like that desert world of yours.”

“You mean these weeds?” scowled Grubby. “They get in the way. You can hardly see the sky. And there is much life on Al Kavarak.” He pointed at his lizard skin cloak. “There is no finer hunting in all of Human space.”

“You hunt?” Evita grimaced. “How could you? Whatever for?”

“For food, of course, and adventure.”

“How awful! On Aterides our animals are highly intelligent. Though wild, the animals communicate with us and we live in harmony.”

“Bah! Animals are meant to be hunted and eaten. Your people are confused about animals and women. You’ve learned everything backwards!”

Evita nodded to a hooting owl on her right. Everything was in place. “You wouldn’t say that if you met the Fluffies.”

“Fluffies?” scoffed Grubby.

“Immensely intelligent creatures. Gentle guardians of the peace between wildlife and humans on our world.”

Grubby flipped his cloak away to reveal the flechette pistol on his hip. “Are they intelligent enough to stop hypersonic bullets?”

In a smooth motion, Evita snatched the pistol and ran ahead of the group. Her long dress hindered her, and her attempt at a sprint only drew guffaws from Grubby. “Where are you running to, princess?” he called. “You can’t escape in the middle of the woods.” He trotted casually behind her, not caring that she opened thirty yards between them.

He pulled up as a massive barn owl, its wings spread 14 feet across, fluttered down beside Evita. It stood behind her and she leaned her back into the soft fluffy feathers of the giant bird. She carefully kept herself between it and the pirates, knowing they wouldn’t shoot because hitting her would spoil their chance at a ransom.

Grubby laughed uproariously once more. “So this is a Fluffy? Do you think for an instant we couldn’t kill that animal?”

Evita grinned. “Oh, this isn’t a Fluffy, though he’s quite intelligent.” She pointed past the pirates as the ground began to rumble. “Those are Fluffies.”

Grubby spun about in time to see three four-ton animals roaring towards them on the path. Green and blue glittered on the chitinous scales of the reptiles. Their four-foot, tooth-lined maws spread wide as the pirates began firing. Grubby dropped to his knees in shock as the pirate bullets ricocheted off the hides of Aterides’ native dragons.

“We call them Fluffies because of their feather-light touch with telepathy,” commented Evita. “…And they breathe fire. Did I fail to mention that?”

The giant owl lifted Evita into the sky as the Fluffies spat a sea of liquid flames across the pirates. The pirates screamed and began to cavort grotesquely as flames consumed their flesh.

Evita flew above the burning men in the gentle clutch of the owl. “Is my planet hot enough for you now?”
This week, in the Grammar Ghoul Press, the word prompt is: cavort. The media prompt is the painting at the top of this post. I intended something science fictioney this week, but the painting media prompt had other ideas about what story it wanted told. I added different planets an hypersonic bullets at least. Look here for more stories based upon the week’s prompts:

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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18 Responses to The Fluffies – Grammar Ghoul Press

  1. Mara Fields says:

    Hey, really liked this post! I was smiling a knowing smile along with the heroine as the clueless, misogynistic pirate walked closer and closer to his own demise. Nice imagery of the pirate without being heavy handed. Funny and quirky with names like Grubby and “the Fluffies”. All ’round well done. I really want to know what happened BEFORE this scene–maybe this needs to be a novel.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Thank you! Yeah, when I make a misogynistic pirate, something bad is going to happen to him. I’m glad the description of the pirate was just enough. That’s always hard to balance properly. I’m so glad you enjoyed the story. Their may be more of this sometime in the future. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dreamer Girl says:

    This is brilliant! I’d love to hear more too, either from the scene before or after. I love Evita’s matter-of-fact tone especially at the end 🙂


    • EagleAye says:

      Thank you! With all the encouragement, I may indeed add more about Evita another time. I’m glad you liked Evita’s personality. I wanted her to be quite bold in the face of danger. Thanks so much for the visit! 🙂


  3. Love it! You brought the characters to life–in 3D. The plot is riveting. I thoroughly enjoyed your story. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Silverleaf says:

    I love the way you mix well-rounded and intriguing characters with believable science fiction and humour. Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Michael says:

    Never kidnap someone who can communicate telepathically with dragons, is what I always say. Nicely done! I quite enjoyed her closing line. Very dramatic.


  6. Indira says:

    Enjoyed thoroughly. Very nicely written.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Suzanne says:

    Best nickname for dragons ever. Nice use of the prompt word too. And of course I loved the set up and the very satisfying ending. Even though I’m not a vegetarian. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      It’s kind of an inside joke. Llike calling a bald guy, Curly. I always try to make satisfying endings. It’s good to know that’s working. The people of Aterides aren’t veggies either. They have specially imported animals, lacking in intelligence, that they eat. Politicians beware! 😉 For them, eating an animal with highly developed intelligence is akin to cannibalism, but they still readily eat cows for instance. Thanks so much, Suzanne. I’m glad to hear you enjoyed this. 🙂


  8. Shannon says:

    I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen the Disney movie Treasure Planet (you totally should), but this story fit into that world so perfectly that reading this story was like watching a movie unfold in my brain, it was great. I’ll add my voice to the rest and say that I would love to read more set in this world, since you manage fantasy and comedy with an aplomb which I am slightly envious of 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      I have seen Treasure Planet. Loved it too. It’s a great movie. It’s things like that and the works of Terry Pratchett which have influenced me a lot. If I could write stories as funny as Pratchett’s I’d be really happy. Thanks so much for the kind words. You’ve got me blushing and pleased all at once. 🙂


      • Shannon says:

        Oh, man, Pratchett is one of my heroes! I’ve been working on designing a Discworld tattoo for a couple of years now, and I actually have one based on Good Omens 🙂 No joke, I laugh out loud at your stuff ALL THE TIME, and Pratchett is one of the few authors who makes me do the same, soooo….. 😉


  9. EagleAye says:

    Loved Good Omens. That’s a masterpiece. A tattoo based upon it would be awesome. If I can make you laugh like Pratchett can…well then you’ve made me a very happy author. I’m blushing and grinning. I’ll do my best to keep tickling that funny bone. I promise. 🙂


  10. EagleAye says:

    I’m guessing this is Japanese? If you could translate to English, I’d be happy to reply.


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