Cutlass Cody Is Listening
When Gerry and Angie journeyed to visit the Pirate Museum at Pier 43, they never expected to encounter their next door neighbors. Bert and Peggy were nice enough people, but they were so different in fundamental ways, they’d never been drawn to them. An amusing day at the museum seemed a good way to get to know them better.
One display portrayed the final moment of the dread pirate, “Cutlass Cody.” Inside a window, they could see a skeleton dressed in a pirate’s hat with plume, and wearing the double-breasted peacoat of a ship’s captain. The plaque beneath the window read the following:
These are the actual bones of William “Cutlass Cody” Tilly. He was known for boarding a ship and asking “Who’s the Captain here?” When the ship’s captain answered that he was, Tilly would cut off his head with his famed cutlass. More heads would roll until Tilly was given the right answer, and informed that Tilly was now Captain…
“Argh!” said Gerry, affecting a pirate’s drawl. “A pirate’s life for me.” He looked a little wistful. “Wouldn’t it be grand with the salt spray in your face? Getting rich from all the gold, and finding adventure in every port!”
“Not if you serviced all the wenches.” mock-scowled Angie. “What about me?”
“Nay, wee lass. Ye’d be a pirate’s wife and the only girl for me!”
She grinned and swatted his shoulder. “Better be!”
“I don’t think so,” said Bert. “Lookit ‘im. He’s a fop. A bloody fairy if you ask me. He was probably porkin’ the cabin boy the whole cruise long. It’s a good thing the miscreant died.”
Later, as they stopped at Bert and Peggy’s car, Bert opened the door and a foul stench blew over him. Seawater loaded with decaying fish poured out. The stench was appalling. Bert stomped off to scream at the management.
Gerry and Angie had issues with their car as well. It took until the following day before they returned home. Angie unloaded the grocery bags filled with bottles of champagne, goose foie gras, brie, and ribeye steaks for the grill. “Think we should tell Bert and Peggy?” said Angie.
Gerry shrugged. “I’ll tell them our car’s shocks were ruined.”
“And…?”
“But. I don’t have the heart to say our car was filled with gold doubloons!”
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Look for more stories based upon the photo prompt right here: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2015/02/01/sunday-photo-fiction-february-1st-2015/
Wow, it really pays to compliment a dead pirate! (or really sucks if you don’t). Great story. I wouldn’t mind my shocks being ruined by gold doubloons.
-David
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Yeah, I could live with that too. I could easily afford new shocks. It’s a lesson to all of us. Always be nice to pirates, alive or dead. Thanks for the visit! 🙂
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I agree with David. Cutless Cody was good to Bert and Angie!
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They were good to him, so he returned the favor. It’s never good to anger a powerful poltergeist. Words to live by. 😉
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Thanks! Hopefully I won’t need them. Hopefully. 🙂
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Arrrrr, that be one good story, matey!
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Thankee Laddy! Ye be most generous with ye praise. 😉
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I’m happy for Gerry and Angie, but I seriously doubt that the IRS is going to buy this story. 🙂
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I think you’re right. That’s why they’re dumping it all in Swiss bank accounts. 😉
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Considering pirate tradition, a Caribbean tax haven would be more appropriate. 🙂
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Good point. Perhaps a bank account in the Cayman Islands.
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Good ole boy that Cody. I remember growing up with a poltergeist – either that or it was my sibling and me just blaming ‘Ida Know’ and ‘Not Me’ 🙂
I went in a different direction.
Sunday Photo Fiction : Posed skeleton in a shed
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I may have to walk the plank – I gave you the wrong link…
https://julesinflashyfiction.wordpress.com/2015/02/02/dead-weight-live-rewards-2-1/
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Argh, ye scallowag! Okies, I’ll check that one instead.
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Haha! Yeah I had a poltergeist too, named, “Idontknow.” 😉 Thanks much Jules! 🙂
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Great story!
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Thank you kindly! 🙂
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Cute story. I liked the dialog between Gerry and Angie about being a pirate, and the cutting off heads until they said ‘you are captain’ was very clever.
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Thank you! I wanted Gerry and Angie to be charming and light, a contrast to the other couple. Those who enjoy the world with open eyes usually share in its delights. Ultimately, it’s that approach to life that led them to the doubloons, while others get stinky fish. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks much, Ted! 🙂
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Looks like Cutlass Cody got his revenge and gave a reward. Funny story, Eric. Well done. 🙂 — Suzanne
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He did. It’s always important to be balanced, and Cutlass Cody does that very well. It’s good to hear you got a laugh. Thanks Suzanne!
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