Mollie Gob & The Crisp – Super-Short Mega Story

Photo by: Matthew Wright

Mollie Gob & The Crisp

Glenn, Bert, and Jensen stood on the bank of the lake fishing and drinking beer. Mostly, they drank beer.

Glenn opened a Victoria Bitter. “The story goes,” he said. “There’s a dinosaur, a Plesiosaur they say, is what’s livin’ in the lake.”

“Heard that one too,” said Bert. “That’s fair dinkum.”

“Bloody furphy,” scowled Jensen, munching on potato crisps. “A stupid fairytale.”

“Nah. It’s dinky di,” said Glenn. “Locals call her, ‘Mollie Gob.’ She’s got this long neck. She snatches fishermen straight off the bank without leaving the water.”

The only response from Jensen was him eating crisps.

Bert glared at Jensen. “You keep eating those fookin’ crisps, you’ll become one some day.”

Jensen chewed louder.

“You’re scarin’ the fish, mate! Shoot through, would ya’?”

Grumbling, Jensen wandered down the bank into the brush.

After an hour, Glenn said, “Seen Jensen?”

“Nah, but I can hear him crunching his crisps.”

“Sounds different. There’s meaty sounds too.”

Bert said, “We’d best check on him, I reckon.”

All they found were Jensen’s shredded, bloody trousers. “Strike a light!” shouted Glenn. “Ol’ Molly Gob got ‘im!”

Bert shook his head. “I told him he’d become a Crisp one day!”
______________________________
Author’s Notes:

When I originally imagined this story, I wanted to look up one, just one Australian/New Zealander slang term. I found so many, I couldn’t help including a bunch of them. Here’s a little glossary:

http://www.aussieontheroad.com/australian-slang/
Furphy: A lie or rumour.
Dinky Di: The real deal. Legitimate.
Fair dinkum: Legitimate. True. Can be used as a question or a statement. Ex: Are you being fair dinkum, mate?
Shoot through: Leave.
Spit the dummy: To become very angry. To have a tantrum.
Crisp: Potato Chip (may or may not be Australian. Definitely British.)
Strike a light!: An exclamation of surprise or frustration.

Victoria Bitter

This is the first writing challenge by author Matthew Wright (as far as I know). So I definitely wanted to join in this one. Check out the original post and see what other folks wrote: https://mjwrightnz.wordpress.com/2015/05/20/writing-inspirations-surprising-beauty-in-artificial-nature/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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9 Responses to Mollie Gob & The Crisp – Super-Short Mega Story

  1. Great story! The actual lake has a distinct Scottish feel, entirely Ness like. Rumour that somebody parked a Morris 1000 on a bridge due to be submerged when the lake filled is probably untrue…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Fun story! Crisp is definitely British (we call ’em chips here). Glad you liked the glossary πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Thank you! And thanks for the clarification. So this was your glossary. That’s really cool. I enjoyed that! It took my story in a different direction and I had a lot more fun writing it. Thanks for putting that together. πŸ™‚

      Like

    • EagleAye says:

      By the way, when I wrote this, I was looking for a beer called, “Queensland.” A couple Aussies I met in bar said that’s what they drink. When I looked it up while writing this, I couldn’t find it. Is there such a beer as Queensland?

      Like

  3. Shannon says:

    oh man, they have the best / most ridiculous slang. I heard ‘fair dinkum’ in a movie forever ago (Chopper, maybe…who knows, I’m old and I forget things πŸ˜‰ ) and it became sort of my version of ‘smurf’. Loved this, by the way, like a foreign version of the King of the Hill guys drinking in their alley…

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! Yeah it’s an Aussie version of it. I heard Fair Dinkum a long time ago too, but I had no idea what it meant. It was fun researching this one. I learned a lot of cool terms. Thanks so much, Shannon!

      Like

  4. Shey says:

    Yikes! He should have listened. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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