The Six-Million Pound Dove
Stan rubbed his beak passionately against hers. “My darling!” he cooed. “I’ve missed you so much!”
Patrice fluttered her feathers with excitement. “Oh, I’ve missed you too, Ducks!”
The doves rubbed necks together for a moment. “You feel so good, Patty.” He fluttered above her, preparing to engage. “I want you so much!”
Patrice stepped away. “Not now, Stan.”
“But M’love! We’ve got little time together before Mr. McCallaugh arrives to chase us away with his broom.”
“I know. But there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
“You know you turned my life around after…the accident.”
“You never talk much about it.”
“I know.” Patrice scratched at some seeds. “It was awful, Stan. After I left the hospital I was so lost.”
“I remember. That’s when I dove into the stove hidden in the cove and met a dove I could love.”
“Yes! My heart hove to when faced with love from a dove like you!” Patrice sighed. “But…the accident changed me. Stan I’ve been keeping secrets from you.”
Stan bobbed his head confidently. “Doesn’t matter. What ever it is, we’ll work through it.”
“Stan,” moaned Patrice. “I work for MI-6.”
“Ohmigod! You’re kidding. How long?”
“I was working for BAE Systems testing miniature rocket packs. I crashed and nearly died in the accident. Then MI-6 put me back together again. I’ve worked for them since then.”
Stan cocked his head. “So you work for the government. Big deal!”
That’s when Mr. McCallaugh rounded the corner cursing and waving his broom. “Get out, ye scallawags, ye Flying Rats! Off with ye!”
This was entirely too much for Patrice who was already stressed. She flew up, grabbed the broom, and this little dove yanked the broom out of McCallaugh’s hands. She began chasing him across the garden, whacking him with it. Patrice bellowed, “we’re trying *whack* to have *whack* an important conversation *whack* if you don’t mind!”
After driving off McCallaugh, she landed beside Stan. “Now you know the truth. After the accident, they made me faster, stronger, better than before. It cost six million pounds to give me bionic limbs.”
Staring at her wide-eyed, Stan said, “Well, you know what this means?”
Patrice drooped, anticipating the worst. “What?”
“It means I’ll never leave you, and I’ll never cheat.”
Patrice perked up. “Really?”
“Yep. Mostly because I love you, but also because I’m terrified to make you angry!”
– To my American colleagues: In England, “Ducks” is a term of endearment. I just couldn’t resist the irony of having Doves say that.
– “Pound” is the basic unit of currency in Britain. The title isn’t referring to a very heavy dove, rather an expensive one.
– BAE Systems is one of Britain’s largest defense contractors.
– MI-6 is the British foreign intelligence service, equivalent to the CIA.
– The Six Million Dollar Man was a TV series based on Martin Caidin’s book, “Cyborg.” Here’s the intro:
Written for Sunday Photo Fiction. Look here to see what other folks wrote based on this week’s photo: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2015/08/16/sunday-photo-fiction-august-16th-2015/