Cat Lover

Photo by: Matthew Wright

The cans in the bag banged against Mark’s leg as he examined the edifice’s entryway. It took a moment of examining the wall sculptures before he found it. The button was a well-disguised flower. He pressed it, and a hidden stone door ground aside.

Mark entered a hallway of slime-covered stone before the door closed behind him. Torches at the other end barely pierced the Stygian gloom. Damp moss brushed at his shoulders as his footsteps echoed like disembodied heartbeats. He passed spluttering torches assembled from bone, and entered a room carved from stone.

It sprawled before a computer monitor, insectoid hands clacking away at the keyboard. Its torso and headed reminded Mark of a Praying Mantis, although one with seven-fingered hands. Its swollen abdomen appeared like the body of a humongous octopus. Ten green tentacles swirled and coiled endlessly.

He approached the monster as cats yowled constantly from crevices in the stone. He pushed the felines and some kittens out of the way as he set the bag of tuna cans on the table. “The ingredients you required, Great Master, ” he said dully.

The beast grumbled blandly, “Haha. So not funny, Mark.”

Mark chuckled and turned to see what Jim was looking at on the computer. “Seriously, Jim?”

The beast held up two tentacles in a shrug. “What? I’m studying the internet to learn your peculiar human ways.”

Mark gestured at the furry swarm of cats. “I see you’ve learned our fascination with cats.”

“Oh yes. I love cats.”

Mark pointed at the screen. “And now you’re watching cute cat videos.”

“That’s what it is?” said Jim. A tentacle snapped out and plucked a cat from a crevice. Jim dipped the squalling animal head first into a bowl of guacamole. “I thought it was the cooking channel.”
Written for author Matthew Wright’s Mega Short-Story writing challenge. Look here for the original prompt:

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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6 Responses to Cat Lover

  1. Ha ha! Great story – especially the Halloween feel. Yeah, what would aliens think of our web obsession with cats? (Halloween’s actually also my birthday).

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Thank you! Glad the Halloween feel worked. I was going for the H.P. Lovecraft style in this. I suppose aliens might have a lot of reactions to cute cat videos. This one seems like a strong possibility to me. Halloween’s your birthday? That’s awesome. Are you a changeling? Do you trick, or do you treat? I’m betting trick. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • I already got this year’s treat – my wife paid for my tour of Hobbiton as an early birthday present. Best birthday present ever, I might add! Being my birthday, we usually go out on halloween night which means we avoid the trick or treaters. There was one time we were home and I wanted to provide broccoli as the treat because its way healthier for people than candy, but my wife thought it might trigger a trick from the visitors…

        Liked by 1 person

      • EagleAye says:

        That is an awesome present. I saw your pics. And yeah, I think your wife was right about the broccoli. 😉


  2. Lyn says:

    An alien critter named Jim…well, why not. Where’s the rule that says only Earthers can be called Jim? I must object to the guacamole cat though. Mind you, I’d like to see him try it with our cat. Napoleon is as black as coal, weighs 22lb, is three foot long and takes no prisoners 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Naming an alien Jim is just more of my twisted humor. Plus, there’s many instances where I think humans couldn’t pronounce an alien name, so a rather plain human one must replace it. Napoleon sounds like a real tough cat. He’d probably be the one who helps the other cats escape. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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