Superior Employment

The dwarf opened the door. Draduc looked inside. A stunning woman lounged at a simple, candlelit table. She was exquisite.

Draduc grinned. “How long have you worked for me, Maxwell?”

“One week, Master,” said the dwarf.

Draduc patted his head. “You’re providing excellent service already. I’ll grant you some rats to feast upon later.”

“The Master is most kind.”

Draduc approached the woman, saying, “You Humans are so arrogant, believing you are the top predator on this planet. You are not. Vampires are the top predator, and we feed upon YOU!”

He bent to bite her neck when her hand suddenly grasped his neck. He struggled in vain. “What’s that about arrogance?” she asked. “Couldn’t something feed upon YOU?”

She ripped Draduc’s spine from his body and began feasting upon its condensed, vampiric energy.

“Is everything acceptable, Master?” said Maxwell from the door.

The anti-vampire paused. “Maxwell. How long have you worked for me?”

“Twelve years, Master.”

“And still your service is excellent. There’s Filet Mignon and broiled lobster in the other room. Please enjoy.”
Written for the weekly Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers writing challenge. Look here to see what stories other folks wrote for the week:

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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14 Responses to Superior Employment

  1. Hahaha! The woman took the greedy and mean out of him (eating his backbone) and he’s much more generous with Maxwell now. LOL!! I bet he didn’t see that coming! Great story Eric.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Martin Flux says:

    Excellent story! I love the way you turn the story upside-down half-way through … and I wouldn’t even be surprised if Maxwell turned out to be the apex predator in the end, once the anti-vampire absorbed enough energy—all those twelve years he would have only been preparing his big feast.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lyn says:

    Ha! Appearances can be deceiving. A perfect story for this weekend. Draduc should screen his new employees more thoroughly. Rat’s just can’t compare with Filet Mignon and broiled lobster. Maxwell knows which side his bread is buttered on. Nice one, Eric 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha. Yep. He knows where his melted butter for the lobster can be found. It’s true, Draduc really didn’t check closely enough. He’s maybe never heard of a double-agent. 😉 Glad you enjoyed the story. I’m straying from the usual humor to celebrate Halloween. Thanks much, Lyn! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. joetwo says:

    To quote Qui gon jin, there is always a bigger fish.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Joy Pixley says:

    Ha ha — I always like a “deceiving appearances” twist. That’s the last time he’ll underestimate a stunning human woman. Or, er, anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. R. Todd says:

    Turn about… fair play… and all that. Nice.

    Liked by 1 person

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