Dexter wasn’t only a thief, he was an intellectual. It was a prime reason why he’d never been caught. His successes and his fascination with tech made him a highly sought after “acquisitions expert” in industrial espionage. For these reasons he stood before the door of wealthy robotics magnate Aurifax Clay.
He rang the front doorbell even though he knew no one was home. This rather normal procedure delayed a hostile response from any roving, hostile robotic guards. Surreptitiously, he slipped a scanner into the security pad by the door and let the scanner begin cracking the password. He kept an eye out for robots rushing in with gatling guns spinning menacingly. His EMP gun, guaranteed to fry any electronics, was ready to fire. Robots possessed no known defense for it.
So when the ornamental lion beside the door said, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Dexter barely flinched. He was expecting something after all.
Dexter’s keen eye realized the lion wasn’t a threat. Being an intellectual, he still couldn’t resist arguing with it. “Why not?”
“You’ll get your head bitten off.”
“By what? You? You’re too far away.”
“I might have a telescoping neck,” proposed the lion.
Dexter smirked and crossed his arms smugly. “If you did you’d have already used it.”
The lion raised an eyebrow to rebut Dexter’s smug. “Nonetheless, I’m a significant threat.”
By now, Dexter ignored his proximity detector which located roving security robots. He loved tech but he loved more that he was human, and thus the superior of any machine. A fact he could never resist pointing out to robots. “I think you’re lying. You just lied about removing my head.”
“I do not lie,” scoffed the lion.
“Oh! It’s a bloomin’ myth that robots cannot deceive. They can very easily if programmed to.”
“I’m still not lying.”
Dexter glared. “Clearly, you have no offensive capability. So how are you a threat?”
“I’m an honest distraction.”
“A what?” Dexter’s proximity detector began blaring. He turned in time to see a roving robot’s jaws gaping wide. “Oh dear.”
The lion stared down at Dexter’s headless corpse. “See? I’m very honest. I never said ‘I’ would bite your head off.”
Written for Sunday Photo Fiction. Look here for the original writing prompt and a blue link leading to other author’s stories: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2015/11/15/sunday-photo-fiction-november-15th-2015/