The Honest Distraction

Photo by: Alastair Forbes

Dexter wasn’t only a thief, he was an intellectual. It was a prime reason why he’d never been caught. His successes and his fascination with tech made him a highly sought after “acquisitions expert” in industrial espionage. For these reasons he stood before the door of wealthy robotics magnate Aurifax Clay.

He rang the front doorbell even though he knew no one was home. This rather normal procedure delayed a hostile response from any roving, hostile robotic guards. Surreptitiously, he slipped a scanner into the security pad by the door and let the scanner begin cracking the password. He kept an eye out for robots rushing in with gatling guns spinning menacingly. His EMP gun, guaranteed to fry any electronics, was ready to fire. Robots possessed no known defense for it.

So when the ornamental lion beside the door said, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Dexter barely flinched. He was expecting something after all.

Dexter’s keen eye realized the lion wasn’t a threat. Being an intellectual, he still couldn’t resist arguing with it. “Why not?”

“You’ll get your head bitten off.”

“By what? You? You’re too far away.”

“I might have a telescoping neck,” proposed the lion.

Dexter smirked and crossed his arms smugly. “If you did you’d have already used it.”

The lion raised an eyebrow to rebut Dexter’s smug. “Nonetheless, I’m a significant threat.”

By now, Dexter ignored his proximity detector which located roving security robots. He loved tech but he loved more that he was human, and thus the superior of any machine. A fact he could never resist pointing out to robots. “I think you’re lying. You just lied about removing my head.”

“I do not lie,” scoffed the lion.

“Oh! It’s a bloomin’ myth that robots cannot deceive. They can very easily if programmed to.”

“I’m still not lying.”

Dexter glared. “Clearly, you have no offensive capability. So how are you a threat?”

“I’m an honest distraction.”

“A what?” Dexter’s proximity detector began blaring. He turned in time to see a roving robot’s jaws gaping wide. “Oh dear.”

The lion stared down at Dexter’s headless corpse. “See? I’m very honest. I never said ‘I’ would bite your head off.”
________________________________
Written for Sunday Photo Fiction. Look here for the original writing prompt and a blue link leading to other author’s stories: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2015/11/15/sunday-photo-fiction-november-15th-2015/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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19 Responses to The Honest Distraction

  1. ceayr says:

    Very entertaining, full of good stuff.
    Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. JS Brand says:

    Your misdirection worked on me. A good story.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. MythRider says:

    Have his head bitten off. That will make a messy door step. Is there a robotic vacuum for clean up?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. List of X says:

    I think it would just be easier to add a telescoping neck and save the expense on the roving robots.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Well, the magnate had already made his millions building roving security robots. So why not include them? Besides, the guy is kinda eccentric. Why not have an equally eccentric robotic lion head?

      Like

  5. Lyn says:

    Superb misdirection! I think Dexter found a human capable of out thinking him. I love the name Aurifax Clay! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. luckyjc007 says:

    Never underestimate a robot! Especially the lion one (he’s really not lying) It’s too late for Dexter though. Lesson learned! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hahaha a great way to throw him off. Certainly removed the smugness from his face. And his eyebrows. And his ears 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. All they needed was a little time to get the roving security bit into place. After that Dexter got stuck on debating just lost his head. 😉 Thanks much, Al! 🙂

      Like

  8. The Voice says:

    Pride cometh before the fall. Poor Dexter. I think he was unable to envision a scenario where he could be fooled by machinery. A short-lived but vitally important lesson was learned. This was a fun read. Thanks.

    Like

  9. Hahaha! Dexter didn’t use his “human” brain to think of all the possibilities and thus, he lost his head. LOL! His criminal days have come to a dramatic end! Great story Eric!! I really liked the twist at the end. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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