Attending Church

Photo by: Alastair Forbes

Miranda stood in the huge parking lot behind the Grace Universal Lord Chapel. A sign at the entrance read:

God and Aliens attends our sermons. Why won’t you?

Miranda spat, “Seriously? God and Aliens? I can’t wait to blow the whistle on this guy’s lies.”

Jerome, her cameraman said, “Why don’t we infiltrate the church. Video the service. When nothing special happens, that’s your evidence of deceit.”

“I’m not attending any church. I’m a rational thinker.”

“There he is!” pointed Jerome

Miranda dashed to the pastor with Jerome hot on her heels. “Pastor Mariposa!” called Miranda. “Your sign claims that God and Aliens attend your services. What do you say to allegations of false advertising?”

Mariposa just smiled with his sun-beaten face. “Nothing. God does attend.”

“So you’re saying that god and his robes float down from the clouds to sit in a pew?”

“Don’t be daft. There’s no such thing. God is an emergent property of the universe. Look, it takes 100 billion neurons to create sentience in a human being. Now imagine our Milky Way galaxy contains 100 billion stars all communicating via gravity waves. That’s an information network like the human mind. Let’s consider further that there are billions of galaxies out there, each containing billions of stars.” Mariposa raised a finger. “All these connections mean a super-intelligence must emerge. The self-organizing properties we see in nature make an emergent intelligence inevitable. THAT is God. We are all stardust, and that means we are all composed of God. God is within us, so God attends the services.”

Miranda deadpanned, “Whatever. What about the aliens? You claim…”

“Miranda!” shouted Jerome. “Look!”

A creature like a spider, five-feet across, walked to the church entrance. The shimmering colors of its carapace gleamed as it waved a feeler.

“Welcome, Ahan’terphil,o’cilbireedon,ko,” waved Mariposa.

“Long name,” groaned Miranda.

“That’s his nick-name,” shrugged Mariposa.

A creature like a purple kangaroo followed it, except it had an eagle’s beak and dragonfly eyes. It waved a paw.

“Welcome, N’Ar!” waved Mariposa. He whispered to Miranda, “He prefers we use his full name and title.”

Miranda started walking to the church entrance.

Jerome jogged beside her and whispered, “I thought we weren’t infiltrating the church?”

Miranda stared determinedly, “I’m not infiltrating.”

Author’s Notes:

From the UCSB Science Line: “There are about 10 billion galaxies in the observable universe! The number of stars in a galaxy varies, but assuming an average of 100 billion stars per galaxy means that there are about 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (that’s 1 billion trillion) stars in the observable universe! Notice that I have been saying the observable universe. We can only observe parts of the universe that are within 13.7 billion lightyears of earth. This is because the big bang occurred about 13.7 billion years ago. We make observations about distant stars by measuring the light that reaches earth and satellites that we have in space. Light from stars farther than 13.7 billion lightyears away has not had time to reach us yet!”

Written for Sunday Photo Fiction. Look here for the original writing prompt and a blue link to many more stories!

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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21 Responses to Attending Church

  1. mandibelle16 says:

    Interesting story. I like the aliens who actually were attending church.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Joy Pixley says:

    “So, how do you pronounce, ‘Ahan’terphil,o’cilbireedon,ko’?”
    “Just like it’s spelled, of course. They’re aliens, not idiots.”

    Fun read. Makes me curious about what this pastor’s sermons would be like!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. What an enjoyable read! How on earth you came up with that I can’t imagine.Did I say ‘on earth’? The aliens are clearly here.
    Visit Keith’s Ramblings!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I hear that aliens know where to find a good sermon. Seems like Grace Chapel’s the spot.
    Fun story — had me smiling as usual.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Yep. I mean if aliens are willing to travel light years out of the way, then it’s probably a place worth visiting. Happy to hear about the smiles. I always hope to share some. Thanks much! 🙂


  5. The Voice says:

    But of course, we are the only living beings in the universe. To borrow a line from the Princess Bride, that’s “inconceivable!” Nice job of working science into a funny story.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Somebody said Aliens, she they said illegal aliens and signed up.

    Great story as usual Eric. I love the long name being the nickname and the short one being full name and title.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The ‘how large is the observable universe’ question is an interesting one. I’ve seen figures of 78 billion light years as the diameter of the whole universe, of which we see only a 13.7 billion year segment. The actual answer, I suspect, is ‘nobody knows’. There will almost certainly be aliens in it… somewhere…

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      That’s the thing about it. If the universe is larger than 13.7 billion years, we can’t know. Light from distant stars hasn’t had enough time to arrive yet. And in all those billions of stars, if 1% of 1% of planets can support life, well that’s millions of habitable planets. The most “unlikely result” would be if life hasn’t emerged somewhere else.


  8. ceayr says:

    Entertaining stuff, Eric, enjoyed it.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. jademwong says:

    I love how you always manage to give these prompts an interesting twist! Another well written story.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. athling2001 says:

    All true. We are all stardust. I like your story . Great pacing and ending.


  11. Sally says:

    A great take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

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