A Pedestrian Dinner

Photo by: Graham

Mbanefo’s was THE place to eat in the wealthy financial district of Nairobi. The well-heeled ate there to be seen and sample ingenious foods. Mbanefo’s advertised that they would cook anything. On a sweltering Friday night, they proved it.

It took two burly men to carry the platter containing a roasted Giraffe’s leg. Pots of Matsutake mushroom risotto, mint chutney, and tamarind sauce rested on a bed of Baobab leaves. Onlookers gasped, stunned by the immense haunch.

Hiram and Lizette Portnoy sat open-mouthed among the onlookers.

“Good God,” muttered Hiram. “That’s positively outrageous!”

“Absolutely, Darling,” agreed Lizette. “Who could possibly finish it?”

“But it’s a bloomin’ giraffe! Who eats a giraffe?”

“Not us, I’m afraid. We’re simply not that adventurous.”

“Apparently, we’re rather boring and conservative.”

“Not to worry, Darling,” smiled Lizette. “I still love you.”

“Same here, Ducks.” Hiram took her hand. “I wouldn’t have you any other way. Luckily, we’re satisfied with our rather pedestrian dinners.”

“Indeed! By the way, how’s the Nile Crocodile?”

“Smashing! How’s the Jellied Flamingo?”
Author’s Notes:

Baobab Tree: https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baobab

Matsutake mushrooms are among the world’s most expensive: http://www.therichest.com/luxury/most-expensive/the-top-10-most-expensive-food-in-the-world/?view=all

Written for the weekly Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers writing challenge. Look here for the week’s prompt and a blue button linking to many more of this week’s stories: https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2016/04/25/fffaw-week-of-04-26-2016/

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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26 Responses to A Pedestrian Dinner

  1. Hahahaha! They wouldn’t touch a giraffe’s leg but they are eating crocodile and flamingo! Hilarious! Very creative story! I love it.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Lyn says:

    LOL let’s face it; Flamingo is just a big chook, and crocodile is…well, sort of a big fish 🙂 Have eaten kangaroo steak and kangaroo sausages, but I don’t think I could come at giraffe. Poor thing, they’re so adorable. You always pick the best names for your characters, Eric 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. I’ve eaten alligator. It is a bit fishy. Makes sense. You are what you eat. 😉 By the way, what is a “chook?” And I don’t think I’d eat a giraffe either. I’m a light eater. 😉 Glad you liked the names. Thanks so much, Lyn! 🙂


  3. samratkel says:

    Brilliant take on the prompt and really clever!!

    @Samantha/samratkel from
    Shadow Realities

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Joy Pixley says:

    Clever stuff as always, Eric. 🙂

    And hey, giraffes aren’t endangered, I would totally try that over jellied.. anything. And it sounds much tastier than crocodile (which I’ve only ever had as jerky, and.. meh.) Although yes, on size alone, I might prefer some help. And/or a very large doggie bag.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. Luckily, when I had alligator it was in a French/Cajun restaurant. Tasted great. I think I’d pass on Flamingo or Giraffe, unless I was really, really hungry. And besides, if you eat crocodile, shouldn’t you get a free “crocodile bag?” 😉 😀 Thanks much, Joy! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Joy Pixley says:

        Hey, I’ll try just about anything once. As long as it’s not endangered, and not still alive when it arrives at the table.

        Liked by 1 person

      • EagleAye says:

        Hehe. Yeah, nothing endangered me too. I can pass on Spotted Owl and just eat a Big Mac. I like my steak medium or medium-rare. My wife hates that. She wants her steak fully and completely DEAD!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Joy Pixley says:

        After Consumer Reports’ recent tests on ground beef, I’ll take my steak medium rare, but my burgers WELL DONE, please. (If you haven’t read it, just trust me. If it’s ground –> cook the crud out of it.)

        Liked by 1 person

  5. luckyjc007 says:

    Such a difference in their tastes, yet both totally weird! They would be in shock if all they received was a couple of pieces of chicken! Their body would just waste away. 🙂 Enjoyed picturing them eating all that stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. List of X says:

    I thought “pedestrian dinner” would mean jellied pedestrians.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Great story and punch line! Yes, yes, another helping of Siberian Tiger Souffle please! 🙂

    On the more serious note of rare and endangered species, here in NZ there is a major programme under way to recover the Takahe, one of the world’s most endangered birds (it appears they were found to be DELICIOUS in earlier days). They are not prolific breeders, but the Department of Conservation has got around it with a highly technical artificial insemination programme. This involves gallant DOC workers sashaying forth into Takahe territory wearing an especially equipped hat designed to appear, to the male Takahe, as a female Takahe of irresistible pulchritude. The idea is that the male Takahe flaps down on to the head of the unfortunate DOC worker, does the deed with the hat, and the resulting material is collected via a specially shaped brim. This is then saved and used to inseminate a female. It’s certainly recovered the species. Alas, the side-effect is that the male Takahe now view any passing human as – er – fair opportunity, hat or not… Here’s a video of it from a BBC documentary with Stephen Fry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T1vfsHYiKY

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! I imagine if the French cooks from your book got a hold of it, it really would be tasty. 😉 It’s a shame that those DOC workers must prostitute themselves like that. 😀 That’s a hilarious situation. I hope the animals appreciate what those intrepid biologists are doing for them. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Felicia Hf says:

    Hahaha very amusing! Love your take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Indira says:

    Very funny. Very original EA take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Interesting place and quite adventurous. Mbanefo is actually a name derived from my native language Ibo in Eastern part of Nigeria and we are known to be enterprising wanderers, so it’s not a surprise that my Ibo brother is in Nairobi cooking Giraffe and Crocodile. I enjoyed reading this 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! Oh that is so cool! I just found this name by looking it up on a list of names. That one appealed most to me. It’s great that you are familiar with it. Small world, eh? I’m glad you had fun with the story. Thanks so much! 🙂


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