Photo by: Graham
Mbanefo’s was THE place to eat in the wealthy financial district of Nairobi. The well-heeled ate there to be seen and sample ingenious foods. Mbanefo’s advertised that they would cook anything. On a sweltering Friday night, they proved it.
It took two burly men to carry the platter containing a roasted Giraffe’s leg. Pots of Matsutake mushroom risotto, mint chutney, and tamarind sauce rested on a bed of Baobab leaves. Onlookers gasped, stunned by the immense haunch.
Hiram and Lizette Portnoy sat open-mouthed among the onlookers.
“Good God,” muttered Hiram. “That’s positively outrageous!”
“Absolutely, Darling,” agreed Lizette. “Who could possibly finish it?”
“But it’s a bloomin’ giraffe! Who eats a giraffe?”
“Not us, I’m afraid. We’re simply not that adventurous.”
“Apparently, we’re rather boring and conservative.”
“Not to worry, Darling,” smiled Lizette. “I still love you.”
“Same here, Ducks.” Hiram took her hand. “I wouldn’t have you any other way. Luckily, we’re satisfied with our rather pedestrian dinners.”
“Indeed! By the way, how’s the Nile Crocodile?”
“Smashing! How’s the Jellied Flamingo?”
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Author’s Notes:
Baobab Tree: https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baobab
Matsutake mushrooms are among the world’s most expensive: http://www.therichest.com/luxury/most-expensive/the-top-10-most-expensive-food-in-the-world/?view=all
Written for the weekly Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers writing challenge. Look here for the week’s prompt and a blue button linking to many more of this week’s stories: https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2016/04/25/fffaw-week-of-04-26-2016/
EagleAye
Momus News 
Hahahaha! They wouldn’t touch a giraffe’s leg but they are eating crocodile and flamingo! Hilarious! Very creative story! I love it.
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Hehe. I think they’re just a tad out of touch with the rest of us. 😉 Glad you got a laugh. Thanks so much! 🙂
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My pleasure!
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LOL let’s face it; Flamingo is just a big chook, and crocodile is…well, sort of a big fish 🙂 Have eaten kangaroo steak and kangaroo sausages, but I don’t think I could come at giraffe. Poor thing, they’re so adorable. You always pick the best names for your characters, Eric 😀
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Hehe. I’ve eaten alligator. It is a bit fishy. Makes sense. You are what you eat. 😉 By the way, what is a “chook?” And I don’t think I’d eat a giraffe either. I’m a light eater. 😉 Glad you liked the names. Thanks so much, Lyn! 🙂
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A chook is Aussie for chicken. We had a “Chook” farm when I was a kid. LOL and in England, it’s a term of endearment as in, “Don’t worry, Chook, it will be okay.”
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Awesome. My vocabulary is growing. Thanks! 🙂
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Brilliant take on the prompt and really clever!!
@Samantha/samratkel from
Shadow Realities
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Awesome. Thanks so much! 🙂
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Clever stuff as always, Eric. 🙂
And hey, giraffes aren’t endangered, I would totally try that over jellied.. anything. And it sounds much tastier than crocodile (which I’ve only ever had as jerky, and.. meh.) Although yes, on size alone, I might prefer some help. And/or a very large doggie bag.
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Hehe. Luckily, when I had alligator it was in a French/Cajun restaurant. Tasted great. I think I’d pass on Flamingo or Giraffe, unless I was really, really hungry. And besides, if you eat crocodile, shouldn’t you get a free “crocodile bag?” 😉 😀 Thanks much, Joy! 🙂
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Hey, I’ll try just about anything once. As long as it’s not endangered, and not still alive when it arrives at the table.
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Hehe. Yeah, nothing endangered me too. I can pass on Spotted Owl and just eat a Big Mac. I like my steak medium or medium-rare. My wife hates that. She wants her steak fully and completely DEAD!
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After Consumer Reports’ recent tests on ground beef, I’ll take my steak medium rare, but my burgers WELL DONE, please. (If you haven’t read it, just trust me. If it’s ground –> cook the crud out of it.)
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Such a difference in their tastes, yet both totally weird! They would be in shock if all they received was a couple of pieces of chicken! Their body would just waste away. 🙂 Enjoyed picturing them eating all that stuff.
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Aren’t they though? I think it’s a treat if I eat Turkey! I’m soooo pedestrian! 😉 Glad you enjoyed the images. Thanks so much! 🙂
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I thought “pedestrian dinner” would mean jellied pedestrians.
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Haha! That’s at Akonije’s down the street. They cater to the cannibal crowd. 😉
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Great story and punch line! Yes, yes, another helping of Siberian Tiger Souffle please! 🙂
On the more serious note of rare and endangered species, here in NZ there is a major programme under way to recover the Takahe, one of the world’s most endangered birds (it appears they were found to be DELICIOUS in earlier days). They are not prolific breeders, but the Department of Conservation has got around it with a highly technical artificial insemination programme. This involves gallant DOC workers sashaying forth into Takahe territory wearing an especially equipped hat designed to appear, to the male Takahe, as a female Takahe of irresistible pulchritude. The idea is that the male Takahe flaps down on to the head of the unfortunate DOC worker, does the deed with the hat, and the resulting material is collected via a specially shaped brim. This is then saved and used to inseminate a female. It’s certainly recovered the species. Alas, the side-effect is that the male Takahe now view any passing human as – er – fair opportunity, hat or not… Here’s a video of it from a BBC documentary with Stephen Fry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T1vfsHYiKY
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Haha! I imagine if the French cooks from your book got a hold of it, it really would be tasty. 😉 It’s a shame that those DOC workers must prostitute themselves like that. 😀 That’s a hilarious situation. I hope the animals appreciate what those intrepid biologists are doing for them. 😉
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Hahaha very amusing! Love your take on the prompt.
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Cool. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks very much! 🙂
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Very funny. Very original EA take on the prompt.
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Hehe. Thanks so much, Indira! 🙂
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Interesting place and quite adventurous. Mbanefo is actually a name derived from my native language Ibo in Eastern part of Nigeria and we are known to be enterprising wanderers, so it’s not a surprise that my Ibo brother is in Nairobi cooking Giraffe and Crocodile. I enjoyed reading this 🙂
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Haha! Oh that is so cool! I just found this name by looking it up on a list of names. That one appealed most to me. It’s great that you are familiar with it. Small world, eh? I’m glad you had fun with the story. Thanks so much! 🙂
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