The Waste

Photo by: Matthew Wright

She had named herself, Bri’Nata, and she was half again larger than the meter-long Coconut Crabs. Only four times in Earth’s history had a creature’s mutations been so complete, so astoundingly beneficial. Bri’Nata had four equally-capable sisters.

If you could copy Einstein’s brain and run thirteen of them in parallel, they still couldn’t solve problems as fast as Bri’Nata. She could see well into the infrared and ultra-violet spectrum. She could sense perturbations, cracks, in space-time where it was child’s play to slip through and enter hyperspace. Their carapace’s acting like spacesuits, the sisters had already visited Jupiter, Wolf357, and Deneb (1550 light years from Earth). They built a hyperdrive to help them explore even further.

Luckily, these super-minds possessed a kindly demeanor. They saw humanity as woefully backward yet quite cute. Bri’Nata and her sisters had only completed their hyperdrive when nature called. The impulse to return to the sea and lay eggs overwhelmed even their powerful intellects. So Bri’Nata left the hyperdrive on Professor Gordon MacNee’s workbench before departing for the sea.

She approached the rocky beach where she had once emerged as a baby crab. There, she would lay her own eggs. Thousands of her progeny might be born to carry on her work and take Humanity to the stars.

A shadow suddenly fell across her. She had a moment to think, “oh bugger,” before an ATV’s tire crushed her into oblivion.

“Woohoo!” crowed Billy-Joe. “I just love the way they go splat! That’s my third ‘un.”

“Dang! I only got two,” complained Cooter.

“Well let’s go get some more!”

Back at Professor MacNee’s house, his wife Genevieve found the hyperdrive on his workbench. “Oh that’s so colorful,” she exclaimed. “It’s just the thing to plant my hibiscus in!”
_______________________________
Author’s Notes:

Coconut Crabs are the largest land arthropods in the world: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coconut_crab

coconut-crab

Written for author, Matthew Wright’s Short Story Challenge. Look here to find the original prompt: https://mjwrightnz.wordpress.com/2016/06/07/this-weeks-short-story-challenge-28/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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13 Responses to The Waste

  1. List of X says:

    I think you need a monster truck to crush these crabs even when they are regular-sized.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Seriously. They really look scary (even though I think they’re harmless). I’d keep my distance from one.

      Like

      • List of X says:

        I don’t they’re exactly harmless – I think they can break a coconut shell with their claws, so I’m sure they can easily cut off a finger or maybe a limb.
        But they won’t intentionally try try to run you down with an ATV.

        Like

  2. Lyn says:

    I was enjoying an early morning read when you made my jaw drop. I did not see the end coming. Great story, Eric, and great ending…at least in the way you “gotcha’d” us. Not such a good ending for poor Bri’Nata 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  3. joetwo says:

    It is never ever a good idea to take pity on humanity. Good one sir!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Joy Pixley says:

    Wonders of the world destroyed by mean jerks.. yep, sounds like a realistic story to me, unfortunately. Wow, those coconut crabs are HUGE. I agree with the earlier comment, I think a bigger version of one of those might be able to survive an ATV, even send it flying. Oo, I’m re-imagining the story so that it does, and dumb old Cooter and Billy Joe get a rude surprise when they try to be rude you-know-whats.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Unfortunately, it’s true. Much like ISIS in the ancient and priceless ruins of Palmyra. *sigh* Maybe there’s something holding us back from making it to the stars, maybe some dark malignant enemy stopping us…and maybe it’s “us.” We’ll get there someday. For now, I can only wish that Billy-Joe and Cooter were sold to a cosmetics company for “animal testing.” I think in my next super-creature story, the rednecks will get that rude awakening. πŸ˜‰ Thanks so much, Joy! πŸ™‚

      Like

      • Joy Pixley says:

        Ugh, I still can’t even think about Palmyra without shivering. In my book, people who wantonly destroy like that – whether it’s priceless historical artifacts or innocent crabs on the beach — get counted as “dark malignant enemy” not “us”.

        Looking forward to seeing those rednecks get a rude awakening!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Hemangini says:

    I read about these crabs in a science magazine once and I still wanna see them so bad. Lovely post and that pic at the end? WOW! Never thought they’d be that big… Who the hell can eat such wonderful creature. Love the post. Keep it up πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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