Photo by: Jan Wayne Fields
After frantic calls from Naturalists for Environmental Research and Development Studies (NERDS), a park ranger set out in search for Dr. Perrimore.
He found the camp, and it was an ugly scene. He carefully avoided stepping on the scattered body parts.
At first, he was thought a grizzly had mauled the doctor. Then he found the doctor’s diary in the tent. The last entry read:
I’ve perfected the mating call of the peaceful and intelligent Sasquatch. Testing it today. Thing is, if it arrives, no females will be present. I’m certain the gentle creature will forgive my deception for science.
______________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2016/11/30/2-december-2016/
EagleAye
Momus News 
HAHAHAHA. He was well and truly … wrong. That is great Eric. I love it,
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Yeah, you could say that when things didn’t go right…he went to pieces. š Glad you liked it. Thanks bunches, Al! š
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Great flash fiction story, Eric. Long live Dr. Perrimore: the Curie of his time!
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Hehe. At least we can be thankful he’s not the Oppenheimer of his time. š Glad you liked it. Thanks so much! š
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Yeah, you’re good. I think Douglas Adams [and now, Sir Terry] would smile down upon you (the former hitchhiking in some galaxy). I’m glad you’ve found time, amid being a dad & husband, to write! Very enjoyable stuff.
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Aw, that’s so nice. If those two are smiling at me, my life is complete. Thanks so much! š
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P.S. Tor in the last year (they send a weekly e-newsletter) has published some original fiction . . . I can look them up for you, if you want (on the first, which I don’t remember), which was a sad story about Sasquatch marrying, but the later and more recent is that they ran a story/novella by Harry Turtledove (alternate history), wherein Sasquatch run the government in California. It was a pretty decent story, imho! And sorry for the long comments!
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Ha! I’ve read a few books by Turtledove. His alternative history is fascinating! I’d love it if I could get published by Tor. That’s my own fantasy. š Don’t worry about long comments. I love ’em! š
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Oh, I know, Eric. I love Tor! Dream publication for sure.
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Mr Perrimore, silly man, mating callš
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No doubt. He reminds me of the guy who sprayed deer scent on himself. The buck that arrived and nearly beat him to death was another frustrated beast. š
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Dear Eric,
So much for “gentle creature.” Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yeah. So much for idealistic presumptions. Thanks kindly, Rochelle! š
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Ooops! š® Not a good move at all.
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He really didn’t think that one through, did he? Yikers! š
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He shouldn’t have expected anything different. Even in the most advanced human males, intelligence is rarely present during mating rituals.
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Ha! Absolutely true. During mating rituals my most elaborate first line was, “Uh…hi.”
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Be glad I wasn’t drinking anything … I would have SPEWED! Hilarious, dry, SO well-conceived.
Five out of five calls of the wild.
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Well, coffee flying out the nose is really quite uncomfortable. š So good to know you got a laugh and I got five howlin’ wolves. Thanks so much! š
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You earned it! š
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Dear EA,
This was the perfect and predictable (so why did he do it? Science!) end to a noble man in pursuit of knowledge. I hope he blacked out quickly. Still laughing here.
Yours,
Doug
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Hehe. Poor fellow. If only he’d built an armored bunker first. Luckily he did black out quickly. That first bodily whack (out of eighteen) against a tree did the trick. He was quite mercifully unconscious for the rest of it. š Glad you got a good laugh. It’s all I hoped for. Thanks much, Doug! š
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As a doctor, he should know not to mess with the sex drives of a wild beast…
For all you (us) Star Trek fans.. remember the Vulcans? Or, the Klingons? And they were humanoid… š
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No doubt. For almost any animal all civilized veneer disappears when it comes to mating. The Vulcans were vicious. Add in a devious, coldly logical mate like Spock’s T’Pring and it only gets worse.
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Exactly! Somehow I knew you’d know this….
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Hell hath no fury like a Sasquatch scorned, as famous naturalist Billy Bob Shakeastick never said.
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Haha! Yeah, it’s probably unwise to make a 700 pound creature angry and frustrated. It’s one of the main reasons Sasquatch’s can’t hold a 9 to 5 job in a cubicle farm. š
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Oh, ever so slight miscalculation. Not forgiven at all, never mind.
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Yep. The devil is in the details. Or in this case, a really mad Sasquatch. š
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teary laughter abounds! š
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Awesome. Love to hear that. Thank you! š
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NERDS – great line in a very funny story.
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Hehe. I hoped folks would enjoy that bit. Thanks much! š
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At first I thought you have a change of heart and writing a sad story. Can’t suppress :):):). What is Sasquatch?
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Nope, not this time. I’m still on a fun streak. š Thanks Indira! A Sasquatch is the American equivalent of a Yeti. A very large wild ape-man.
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Thanks for the information. Please always be on the fun streak.
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The good doctor thought wrong š
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He did indeed. Poor speculation on his part. š
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I laughed out loud at this one, Eric. Such an idealist. The moral of this story is “Never tease a lonely Sasquatch”. Great comedic writing. š — Suzanne
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Awesome. I love it when folks laugh out loud. I think when mimicking a creature twice your strength, you should probably do it from a bomb shelter. š Thanks so much, Suzanne! š
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Just like they say not to get between a mother and her baby, I guess you shouldn’t get between a male and dare I say “dating prospects”.
I guess this story confirms that old adage: “fools rush in where angels fear to tread.”
Really loved this. Well done.
xx Rowena
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Haha! Yeah, an angel wouldn’t have done that. Too dangerous. š I once got between a large fellow and his “dating prospect” in bar. Yikers. Good thing I can run really fast. š Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks most kindly! š
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Sounds like you might’ve used up all nine lives in that encounter. Running fast might not save you next time.
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