The Real Politician

J. “Papa” Findley kneeled before the chopping block and placed his neck upon it. People thronged the square in front of the old Carlysle Building. Though no one in these modern times knew how to be a headsman, there was no lack of applicants desiring the opportunity.

The most hated politician in history still yammered as the headsman raised his axe. “The DNA evidence is false!” he implored. “A worldwide conspiracy of scientists, it is!”

The crowd scoffed collectively. No one was stupid enough to believe such a childish lie. Everyone knew scientists couldn’t agree on anything long enough to form a conspiracy.

The axe swished and Findley’s head fell away. To everyone’s amazement Findley continued speaking. “You’re making a huge mistake!” Findley’s trousers billowed as he bellowed.

“There’s a real politician.,” shouted Hamish from the crowd. “He was talkin’ out his arse the whole time, and he still is!”
_____________________________
written for What Pegman Saw

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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20 Responses to The Real Politician

  1. LOL! I think MOST politicians are talking out of the arse! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. k rawson says:

    That’s great! So many funny lines.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Excellent character and funny as hell.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Funny and I’m afraid realistic. Happy New Year Sir.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lyn says:

    LOL that should make front page on all the newspapers. Give everyone a laugh for the new year, Eric 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dear Eric,

    Hilarious. Well constructed and made me laugh out loud. One of your best ever.

    Shalom and Happy New Year,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Graham Lawrence says:

    Chuckles. Loved “scientists couldn’t agree on anything long enough to form a conspiracy.” and ” … billowed as he bellowed.”

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is mighty fun – but also so very true these days! Thanks for the smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. luckyjc007 says:

    LOL’s. 🙌

    Liked by 1 person

  10. What sarcasm is that. Great piece of writing, succinct to the core.

    Liked by 1 person

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