Processing Charges

Photo by: Sandra Crook

Photo by: Sandra Crook

“What’s this processing charge?” said Ryan to the electric company’s customer support.

“Things like printing and mailing your bill,” she said. “It costs money, you know.”

Fuming, Ryan refurbished the water wheel that ran his family’s old saw mill. He connected it to the power grid. Soon it made far more electricity than he used. By law, the electric company suddenly had to pay him for power!

He started sending them bills.

They sent Mr. Fuddleduddy to protest. He held out a bill to Ryan. “What’s this processing charge for $35?”

“You know,” smirked Ryan. “For printing and mailing your bill.”
____________________________
Written for Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2017/01/04/6-january-2017/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
This entry was posted in Short Fiction and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Processing Charges

  1. This is great. I lived in a place with a rural co-op that would pay you if you had a turbine. Iowa has a lot of wind.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Oh yeah. I really want to get into alternative energy. I plan to get solar panels as soon as I can. I wish I had a running stream nearby. I’d put in a micro-turbine and get energy 24/7! Thanks much! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • List of X says:

        You HAVE to do it as soon as you can, because three weeks from now president Trump might make all new solar illegal. 🙂 Well, maybe not illegal per se, but he could end the 30% tax credit.

        Liked by 2 people

      • EagleAye says:

        A fact I’m terribly aware of. I feel all the energy security we’ve developed until now may go down in flames at Trump’s hands. He’ll probably take away the tax credits for electric cars and increase the subsidies for oil companies. *sigh* And here I was saving to afford a Chevy Volt.

        Like

  2. Great story! This sounds like NZ’s electric utilities (except they don’t pay you if you generate power – they merely find some new way of punishing you). The problem we have is that we used to have a single integrated national grid, balanced between generating systems. That was broken up and an artificial ‘market’ created for power in the 1990s, with the result that the complementary generating systems had to compete with each other instead and every so often the wholesale price of power spikes up over $4000 per kilowatt-hour, which is crazy. Sigh…

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Thank you! That’s strange that the price would spike “up.” You’d think that with competing systems they’d fight for the business of customers and the price would go “down.” Somehow, this climbing price sounds like a racket to me.

      Like

      • It’s a fault in the completely artificial ‘market’ created out of a system that was designed to the exact opposite parameters in the 1930-80 era. Would doubtless work fine if the generating system was designed for it…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. neilmacdon says:

    Ah, I felt the sweetness of his revenge and for a moment the whole world was just a little brighter

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Eric

    I wonder how that’s going to work for Ryan. Love the name Fuddleduddy. Good job. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      I expect the energy company will refuse to pay the processing fees. After which, Ryan will start charging them late fees. 😀 After that, time to transfer the bills to a collections agency. 😉 Glad you enjoyed the name. Thanks so much, Rochelle! 🙂

      Like

  5. Lyn says:

    Oh that is beeyuuutiful! If only we could do that all the time 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. subroto says:

    Smart man, now if he has a solution for the surcharge on credit and debit cards then please let us know.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Friggin, frackin’ bills! Grrr…
    Well done! Like the story! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  8. michael1148humphris says:

    It seemed only fair that he should advise them of what they owed him, and bill them for giving them his helpful advise.🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ryan is my hero.
    He is the new Progressive, a cousin to Anonymous, a sister to Tree Hugger, and a friend to all of earth.
    No charge for my printing of compliments.
    LOL.
    Randy

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. As it ought to be. Maybe there shouldn’t be printing anyway, it just kills trees. 😉 Ryan is my hero too. I hope to follow his example. Now I’m off to put out the recycling. 😉 Thanks so much, Randy! 🙂

      Like

  10. Dale says:

    Wouldn’t that be lovely… to be reimbursed for helping supply energy…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. wmqcolby says:

    I figured such. Turn those lemons into lemonade! Love it!

    Super story, E.A.!

    Liked by 1 person

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