The Terrible Odds

Photo by: C.E. Ayr

Photo by: C.E. Ayr

“Xander Montreau was a brilliant stuntman, you know,” said James Miller. The performer’s agent sniffed sadly.

Looking at the pedestrian bridge that crossed over the railroad tracks, Detective Art Zampesi said, “What happened?”

“He vowed to jump from the bridge onto the next train that passed,” explained Miller. “Easy for him.”

“What are the odds it would be a zoo transport train?”

“He should’ve been fine,” protested Miller. “It was loaded with small animals. Nothing heavier than 60lbs.”

“Sounds safe enough.”

“Sure,” said Miller. “But what are the odds he’d land in a car with the world’s only rabid Wombat?”
______________________________
Written for the Firday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2017/01/11/13-january-2017/

Author’s Notes:
A human killed by a wombat isn’t too crazy an idea, especially if the human was stunned and unable to escape. Wombats are not cute and cuddly at all as adults.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/aug/22/woman-attacked-by-wombat-thought-she-was-going-to-die

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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22 Responses to The Terrible Odds

  1. Excellent story! It’s true – wombats seem to spend all their time sleeping and being cute… and then every so often, WHAM! There used to be a drag bike over in Aus with a couple of Kawasaki Z-1000 motors in tandem. The bike’s name said it all – ‘Combat Wombat’!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lyn says:

    LOL you have to watch out for these Vombatiformes. That particular one must have been a juvenile wombat. Female hairy-nosed wombats can grow to as much as 80lbs. Combine that with a cruising speed of 40km/h, which is just slightly short of Usain Bolt’s fastest speed of 44.64 km/h, and you have something you don’t want to mess with. Maybe one of the reasons they are so temperamental is because their poop is cube-shaped πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Yikers! They sound even more scary the way you describe them. The I heard of that nearly killed a woman, was said to have mange. It was miserable and cranky. Anyway, if I had cube-shaped poop, I think I’d be angry too. πŸ˜‰ Thanks Lyn! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. neilmacdon says:

    What a chain of improbable events! A bit like life

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dear Eric,

    Truth can be ever so much stranger than fiction. I can’t help thinking about Steve Irwin who died from a Stingray. We all figured it would be a crocodile that would do him in. Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      I know, it was so sad wen he died. He was too well trained and prepared for a crocodile to get him. It’s always the unexpected that gets you. Thanks much, Rochelle! πŸ™‚

      Like

  5. gahlearner says:

    Ah, what a sad end. Who knew Wombats were so dangerous. Fun story.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This one had me checking up on wombats. Great twist in the story. It could be risky for both, the stuntman as well as the wombat. There are no winners in this tale. Great writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. List of X says:

    Probably about the same as the chances that a professional stuntman would not care to find out what he’s jumping into.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Michael Wynn says:

    This was great, I tried to see the ending then had to change my mind to something else, then something else and then the ending arrived. I never thought of rabid Wombats. Apparently, those beasts are dangerous enough when they’re not rabid.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. It’s challenging to stay ahead of my very clever readers. It keeps me on my toes trying to keep folks on their toes, with unexpected. πŸ˜‰ I changed my mind a bunch of times too. And yeah, wombats can be nasty. Best to avoid them even if they look amusing. Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks so much!

      Like

  9. yarnspinnerr says:

    It is novel and amusing read. Great write.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. wmqcolby says:

    Hahahaha! I KNEW there’d be a catch to this.
    Hilarious, Eric!

    Liked by 1 person

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