The Wimpiest Man

Photo by: Al Forbes

Photo by: Al Forbes

The aliens had invaded, but that’s okay, they were repulsed. Everybody said the aliens all left. Unfortunately, the immense effort required collapsed most governments, but that’s okay. The big crime Bosses restored order. Four previous Bosses tried to take the rusty County building. The Bosses all disappeared.

Boss MacReedy approached the County building in a former military helicopter. Beside him, the slender and diminutive accountant, Dieter worried a lot. He said, “I’m nervous, Boss.”

The large and imposing Macreedy said, “I like you Dieter, but you’re my wimpiest man. Lookatcha! Safety glasses, helmet, body armor. Too much stuff. Nuthin’s gonna happen!” He pointed at his hardened, tough tactical assault men lining the benches of the CH-47 helicopter. “These guys’ll can handle anything.”

The helicopter landed. MacReedy’s men formed a perimeter and MacReedy walked like he owned the place already. Suddenly hundreds of aliens, all teeth and fangs, swarmed the group. The assault men killed many, but were soon stripped to the bone. Macreedy and Dieter backed up to the roof edge. “Do something!” shrieked MacReedy.

Dieter did.

He jumped off the roof.

While MacReedy died horribly, Dieter fell, but that’s okay.

MacReedy’s wimpiest man, who brought too much gear…opened his parachute.
___________________________
Written for Sunday Photo Fiction: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2017/01/22/sunday-photo-fiction-january-22nd-2017/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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20 Responses to The Wimpiest Man

  1. Joy Pixley says:

    Ah yes, sometimes “too much stuff” includes just the thing you needed in a pinch! Good old Dieter, always prepared. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. purpldragon says:

    Haha wimpiest but smartest and the only one to come out alive

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lyn says:

    Nothin’ wrong with being wimpy. They are the ones who remember what happened–sometimes it might be a little exaggerated, but history has to be written from someone’s recollection 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Absolutely. The scribes of ancient times weren’t burly and strong like the warriors, but it was scribes who lived to tell the tale. 😉 At least in this story, someone can at least reveal the last hidden cadre of aliens.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. List of X says:

    Any accountant worth his salt should be able to calculate that given that four previous bosses disappeared trying to take the building, the chances of the fifth one succeeding are not good.
    I’m just not sure what they even need an accountant for. Everyone knows, if you want to take over a building, you bring a lawyer.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! You are right. The lawyer was there too. He just wasn’t as wimpy. He was well prepared with paperwork, not parachutes.

      And yeah, Dieter was nervous despite MacReedy’s confidence because the other bosses disappeared. The “numbers didn’t add up” so Dieter was got himself ready for anything.

      Like

  5. I love how the previous bosses died and Macreedy didn’t see a problem with it. But that’s okay, Dieter had an idea something was wrong. The aliens never really left. But that’s okay, Dieter knows they are there now.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hmm… sounds like a boy scout! “Always be prepared!”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. James says:

    Ha! Like Courtney said, the ultimate Boy Scout. Great twist at the end. Made me laugh.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Good for Dieter. He was also the smartest man. Hilarious, Eric Always good writing. 😀 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

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