Anke the beautiful bartender slid another beer to Brian. “Tell us,” she encouraged. “What did your grandmother say about us?”

Brian hesitated. Would they be insulted? The beers loosened his tongue. “It’s just a story, okay? She said the baker’s wife of Ullenbraer fell in love with a giant squid. They made love during a full moon. She bore quintuplets: three girls, two boys. All were beautiful and desired by everyone in Ullenbraer. They took husbands and wives and their families all bore quintuplets, and so on for generations. Eventually, everyone in Ullenbraer was related, never revealing their true squid form to outsiders.”

The whole pub crowded around him, watching intensely. Were they angry? Brian became anxious. Nervously, he made his excuses and left.

In the pub, Anke said, “What a ridiculous claim!”

“I know,” grunted Edvard, lifting his beer with a tentacle. “Everyone knows it was the butcher’s wife!”

Written for What Pegman Saw: https://whatpegmansaw.com/2017/02/04/hammerfest-norway/

Author’s Note:

Written as homage to the tales of H.P. Lovecraft: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._P._Lovecraft#Influence_on_culture

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
This entry was posted in Short Fiction and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Ullenbraer

  1. Joy Pixley says:

    What a funny take on what sounded like it could have gone Lovecraftian at any moment…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is great. Love the Lovecraft homage. I read that Steve Bannon looks like every description of Wilbur Whately from HP Lovecrafts “The Dunwich Horror.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Thank you! You’re also a Lovecraft fan? He’s been a heavy influence to me. And I find it interesting than Trump has someone Lovecraftian-looking on his cabinet. Curiouser and curiouser. 😉 Thanks so much! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. James says:

    Well, that was creepy and funny at the same time.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A new take on all the mermaid tales? I was expecting the offspring to each have six legs. 🙂 Great ending line.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. luckyjc007 says:

    Very funny story. Great ending! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lyn says:

    LOL well done Eric. Wasn’t expecting that ending. I expected Anke to hand him another beer with a tentacle.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dear Eric,

    And they all moved to a trailer park in Arkansas, right? Fun stuff. I raise my tentacle with coffee.



    Liked by 1 person

  8. k rawson says:

    Marvelous and richly funny!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Squid Shapeshifters! I love it. Or odd selkies. What fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. jellico84 says:

    Funny! Loved it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. prior.. says:

    well i just so happened to have a bartender in my fiction for this Norway prompt too… but had a much different take (sad one)…
    anyhow, love your suspense and humor mixed in….

    Liked by 1 person

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