An Android Walks Into a Bar

Photo by: Liz Young

Photo by: Liz Young

On Planet Technogia androids had families too. The parents literally made their children. Since the children were Artificial Intelligences, their minds “emerged” rather than were programmed. Like human children during development, they often believed they could fool their parents.

Sabrina237 staggered in the door. “Dad! I’m home.”

“You’re drunk,” scowled Fred44.

“Am not!”

“You drank that Denogginizer 45W lubricant and lost your head.”

“It was standard lubricant. My head is fine.”

“You still lost your head.”

“Why do you think so?”

“Honey, look in the mirror.”

“OHMIGOD!”

“Yeah,” sighed Fred44. “Let’s drive back to the bar. Hopefully nobody wandered off with your head.”
________________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/02/15/17-february-2017/

Author’s Notes:
The concept of Machine Learning is new and holds great promise:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/can-neural-network-comput/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_learning

I’ve had Denogginizer beer before. It works as advertised.

Advertisements

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
This entry was posted in Short Fiction and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

44 Responses to An Android Walks Into a Bar

  1. James says:

    OK, so how could the android see to drive without a head? Radar?

    Oh, sort of reminds me of the STTNG episode where Data made his daughter Lal.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lyn says:

    Denogginizer That sounds pretty potent. Not easy to fool Daddy when you’re legless and> headless. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha, you had me with the title. Lots of fun. So many possibilities!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ceayr says:

    Clever story, as always

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Eric,

    This is hilarious! You are brilliantly warped.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Another great story! I have to wonder whether Denogginizer beer pours with a proper head (I am sure it does… ☺)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. jellico84 says:

    A good laugh, and before morning coffee. Thanks! πŸ™‚ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Dale says:

    Hilarious indeed. Don’t kids know that parents ALWAYS find out?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Liz Young says:

    So what does she use to see in the mirror with? this daughter of Fred’s has hidden talents.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Ah! She has nanotech cams embedded all over her skin. She doesn’t actually need the eyes in her head to see. They’re there more to make humans feel comfortable with her. She literally has eyes in the back of her head (when she hasn’t lost her head that is). πŸ˜‰

      Like

  10. trentpmcd says:

    A fun one. That Denogginizer looks like a potent brew…

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Michael Wynn says:

    Very good, a fun story. She lost her head, it could’ve been worse, she could have lost her heart to the wrong guy, or even worse.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. rgayer55 says:

    Those teen androids can be so immature. Some can hold their lubricant. The photo of the Denoginizer really drove home the point. Excellent piece, Eric.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Yeah, it’s really annoying when an android can’t hold his (or her) lubricant. What’s worse is androids are incredibly strong. So a mean drunk is a danger not only to people, but to buildings! πŸ˜‰ Thanks so much! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Haha, kids will be kids? I enjoyed this!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. yuhublogger says:

    You have quite an imagination!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. subroto says:

    They need a safety label on these Denoginizers, Fun story,

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Must get hold of some of that stuff that inspired this wonderful piece of writing πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Tamal says:

    Ha ha great story. Now I’m feeling I also should have written an Android story.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. gahlearner says:

    I love it. Who needs eyes for driving when they can simply uplink to the car? And Sabrina seems a popular name on the planet Technologia.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      There you go. Androids have more options than we do for handling a drunken binge. And yeah, there are a few Sabrinas. Though, there is a Mary2214. πŸ˜‰ Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks kindly! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Indira says:

    Hilarious is the right word. :):):)

    Liked by 1 person

Don't be shy. Say something!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s