Photo by: Liz Young
On Planet Technogia androids had families too. The parents literally made their children. Since the children were Artificial Intelligences, their minds “emerged” rather than were programmed. Like human children during development, they often believed they could fool their parents.
Sabrina237 staggered in the door. “Dad! I’m home.”
“You’re drunk,” scowled Fred44.
“Am not!”
“You drank that Denogginizer 45W lubricant and lost your head.”
“It was standard lubricant. My head is fine.”
“You still lost your head.”
“Why do you think so?”
“Honey, look in the mirror.”
“OHMIGOD!”
“Yeah,” sighed Fred44. “Let’s drive back to the bar. Hopefully nobody wandered off with your head.”
________________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/02/15/17-february-2017/
Author’s Notes:
The concept of Machine Learning is new and holds great promise:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/can-neural-network-comput/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_learning
I’ve had Denogginizer beer before. It works as advertised.
EagleAye
Momus News 
OK, so how could the android see to drive without a head? Radar?
Oh, sort of reminds me of the STTNG episode where Data made his daughter Lal.
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Easy. Distributed nanotech cameras all over their skin. They can actually see 350 degrees. The eyes are only there to make humans comfortable. And yeah, I remember that episode. It was especially poignant.
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Yes it was, but don’t you mean 360 degrees?
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Eeps. Yes, I do mean 360. Unfortunately, my eyes aren’t as good as an android’s cams. 😉
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Figured it was just a typo.
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Denogginizer That sounds pretty potent. Not easy to fool Daddy when you’re legless and> headless. 😀
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It’s true. Daddy is just clever at noticing subtle things. 😉 That Denogginizer is super strong. 11% alcohol. Drink a pint and your head floats away. 🙂
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Mine would explode. Even non-alcoholic apple cider makes my eyes glaze. My friends think it’s hilarious.
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Haha, you had me with the title. Lots of fun. So many possibilities!
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Yeah, I could’ve taken this a lot of directions. Glad you had fun with this. I had fun writing it. 😉 Thanks Kecia! 🙂
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Clever story, as always
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Thanks so much, CE! 🙂
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Dear Eric,
This is hilarious! You are brilliantly warped.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That’s awesome. I’m glad you liked this. And I love it when folks call me “brilliantly warped.” I’ve worked hard for that title. 😉 Thanks Rochelle! 🙂
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Another great story! I have to wonder whether Denogginizer beer pours with a proper head (I am sure it does… ☺)
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Thanks Matthew! It does pour well. I tried it on tap. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen it since. That’s too bad. It really tastes goood.
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A good laugh, and before morning coffee. Thanks! 🙂 ❤
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Hehe. Glad I could help start your morning right. Have a cuppa joe for me. Thanks much! 🙂
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Hilarious indeed. Don’t kids know that parents ALWAYS find out?
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Hehe. I think it takes few awkward moments before the idea sinks in. 😉 Thanks kindly, Dale! 🙂
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So what does she use to see in the mirror with? this daughter of Fred’s has hidden talents.
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Ah! She has nanotech cams embedded all over her skin. She doesn’t actually need the eyes in her head to see. They’re there more to make humans feel comfortable with her. She literally has eyes in the back of her head (when she hasn’t lost her head that is). 😉
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A fun one. That Denogginizer looks like a potent brew…
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Thank you! And yeah, Denogginizer is really strong, about 11%. A pint of it isn’t far different from drinking a pint of wine! 😉
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Very good, a fun story. She lost her head, it could’ve been worse, she could have lost her heart to the wrong guy, or even worse.
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Haha! How very true! The scars of the heart take much longer to heal. Thanks Michael! 🙂
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Those teen androids can be so immature. Some can hold their lubricant. The photo of the Denoginizer really drove home the point. Excellent piece, Eric.
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Yeah, it’s really annoying when an android can’t hold his (or her) lubricant. What’s worse is androids are incredibly strong. So a mean drunk is a danger not only to people, but to buildings! 😉 Thanks so much! 🙂
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Haha, kids will be kids? I enjoyed this!
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Yep, even if they’re artificial, they still are kids at heart (or lubricant pump). 😉 Thanks Emily! 🙂
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You have quite an imagination!
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Thank you! I appreciate that. 🙂
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They need a safety label on these Denoginizers, Fun story,
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No kidding! Something like, “Warning: this beer is named this way for a reason!” 😉 Thanks so much! 🙂
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Must get hold of some of that stuff that inspired this wonderful piece of writing 🙂
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Yeah if you can find it, it tastes fabulous. Thanks so much for the kind words. 🙂
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Ha ha great story. Now I’m feeling I also should have written an Android story.
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Oh well there’s always room for another android story next week. I could write about them all the time. 😉 Thanks so much! 🙂
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I love it. Who needs eyes for driving when they can simply uplink to the car? And Sabrina seems a popular name on the planet Technologia.
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There you go. Androids have more options than we do for handling a drunken binge. And yeah, there are a few Sabrinas. Though, there is a Mary2214. 😉 Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks kindly! 🙂
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Hahaha, this is brilliant!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Hilarious is the right word. :):):)
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Thanks so much! 🙂
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I am getting surprised that Android is also get work in that way. great!!
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