The Dumb Calf

Photo by: Magesticgoldenrose

Photo by: Magesticgoldenrose

Jackson glared at the calf in the barnyard. The cerebral development hormones he’d given him failed to take hold, obviously. “Dang calf ain’t no smarter than his momma,” he grumped.

“What’s he done now?” asked farmhand Watters.

“Found ‘im with my computer.”

“Uh oh. Was he stompin’ on it?”


“Droolin’ on it?”

“Damn near. The ijit was writing programs. Wrote a FOR Loop and forgot to set the initial variables. Then he blamed it all on the C++ compiler, saying it wasn’t patched properly with the online updates. Can you believe it?”

“Well Hells Bells, Jackson!” spat Watters. “That is a dumb calf!”
Written for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers:


About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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32 Responses to The Dumb Calf

  1. Lyn says:

    Well, if you’re going to forgot to set the initial variables you’re looking for trouble, aren’t you. Porterhouse steak anyone?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. List of X says:

    This calf is already smarter than some of my coworkers.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. James says:

    Clever calf to be able to write anything on a computer with hooves.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hahahaha! Those two ijits are dumb for not knowing what a smart calf they have! Cute story!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Chris C. says:

    Well, something has to take the blame when the programme won’t run properly. Though I agree with everyone else – this calf is far cleverer than the farmers in the story give them credit for!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Jade M. Wong says:

    Hey, if these farmers don’t want the calf, I’ll gladly take him! You never know when a tech-savvy calf might come in handy nowadays 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  7. luckyjc007 says:

    They have a real money maker on their hands and don’t even know it! Now, who is the dumb one?

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Precisely! If a talent agent found the cow he’d be trotting (so to speak) the calf on to Oprah and Ellen within days! The agent would have a real…cash cow…on his hands. 😉


  8. allisondepp says:


    Liked by 1 person

  9. Joy Pixley says:

    Seems like those farmers might have set their standards a wee bit higher than normal. Also seems like maybe I’d like to invest in them-thar hormones.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      I think the farmers are failing to see the forest for the trees. A programming calf? In the right hands the calf would be a worldwide sensation within days. Some folks just can’t see the big picture. And yeah, the hormone manufacturer’s stock would be a wise investment! 😉 Thanks Joy! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Su says:

    for loop and C++ ??!!?? Oh my, i should come back to them for some help with my coding.. 😛 😛 lol

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hi, I’m majesticgoldenrose, and I am glad you used my prompt. Great post, btw! Glad to know I’m not the only one who makes silly mistakes when I’m coding, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Loved your pic. Thanks for offering it up. I’m glad you enjoyed this little tale. And honestly, everybody forgets their initial variables once in a while, even in a “while loop.” 😉 Thanks so much! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Ameena k.g says:

    You left wide-eyed, thinking, if that is a dumb calf then I sure would be astounded by what a smart calf an do. I enjoyed your creative take on it,

    Liked by 1 person

  13. mandibelle16 says:

    Haha what irony. I liked that, a cow trying to program on a computer. Dumb to whom I might wonder?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. This cow is a genius. I wonder what else he can do?

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      I understand that he’s partial to solving Differential Equations. Just looking at one of them gives me a headache. Also, the NSA is recruiting him to help with their cryptology and password cracking department. 😉


  15. Dany Slone says:

    Was it a cowputer? Wonder how big the mooniter is?

    Liked by 1 person

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