Internet Safety

Photo by: Dawn Miller

Larry found the fire pot in a small town in Mexico. He could tell it was ancient. After a quick google search he learned the pot was infamous. The “Fire Pot of Quixochanagua” was dangerous. It came with numerous warnings. Larry bought it for 50 pesos and took it home.

He found the releasing ceremony on youtube. A little later he found a forum suggesting the best protection from a guy who survived the pot. Larry put in an emergency order with Amazon.

The following day Larry had meat on the grill just waiting for fire. Larry grinned up at the snarling, 7-foot tall black jaguar. “It’s easy,” said Larry, pointing. “Just cook the food.”

“What?” boomed the godlike voice of Quixochanagua. “I’ve burned down entire cities for the children of gods! I…”

The monster ranted until Larry offered Ginger Candy.

“I shall rip your flesh and roast your…oooh! Ginger Candy!” Quixochanagua flicked a finger and the steaks became perfectly cooked in an instant.

The doorbell rang and Larry answered it.

“Uh I’m not sure this is right,” mumbled the UPS man. “You ordered 800 boxes of Ginger Candy, right?”

“Yep,” said Larry. “You can never be too safe.”
______________________________
Written for Sunday Photo Fiction: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2017/03/05/sunday-photo-fiction-march-5th-2017/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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20 Responses to Internet Safety

  1. James says:

    Ha. The evil god is a sucker for ginger candy. Go figure.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh dear! I’m allergic to ginger — so I’d better not be a monster. Time to go roast the fatted calf. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. List of X says:

    50 pesos for the fire pot, plus 45,000 pesos for the 800 boxes of Ginger Candy plus easily extra 5,000-10,000 pesos for expedited delivery, I dunno, doesn’t seem like a great deal to me, unless he actually does plan to burn a few cities.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lyn says:

    If he likes ginger candy, he should try Stone’s green ginger wine. That will keep him happy for quite a while:)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That made me laugh. “oooh ginger candy” reminds me of “oooh shiney” hehe

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I was scrolling back through your posts to see if I could find the one where I left you a link to my story, The Hazards of Wish Counseling, and I got this this one. Since I’m thinking about internet theft, it seemed fitting to put my comment here.
    I went to post that link on my blog for someone else yesterday and the story is gone. The post title is still there, the Likes and comments, but the story has vanished! Your comment on Feb 6th was the last so it disappeared after that.
    Never had anything like that happen before. Here’s the link if you want to take a peek. If you can still see the story, I’ll be doubly amazed. πŸ™‚
    https://christineevelynvance.wordpress.com/2014/07/07/the-hazards-of-wish-counselling/

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Oh that blows. I checked it and the story is still missing. I’ve never seen a story disappear like that. That might be one to check on with WordPress. Maybe they can recover it from backup.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I never post anything — even comments —without doing them first in WPerfect and saving. Exactly for this reason. I’ve “disappeared” comments myself by hitting a wrong button — or having the power blink.
        My first thought is that someone tried to copy it to run through a translation program somewhere, but cut it (likely) by mistake. Maybe my tale will appear in Some-ese sometime. I’ll never know. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • EagleAye says:

        Hmm. No one besides you should be able to change it. Only you have the administrative rights to change it. If they tried to copy it, it wouldn’t do anything to the text. Something happened to it. Luckily, you still have the original text. You can still put it back if you want.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Back when i had my WP website, I was looking back in my archives one day and found that someone else had added links at the bottom of several of my posts, links to SPAM sites. Since then I’ve been a little more skeptical. But you’re right; no one else should. Security’s better nowadays, right?

        Liked by 1 person

      • EagleAye says:

        Eek. It sounds to me like your WP account has been hacked. I’d change the password just to be safe.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Just tried it. Won’t accept a new password. You’re right; something is going on. Thanks for the suggestion.

        Like

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