The Recruitment Interview

Photo by: Dale Rogerson

The US government provided Mishala-colmbrianna’na-kinilaria (Aria) with a monthly stipend. Though she looked human, most human food seemed bland, except pizza.

Bored, she asked to join the American Special Forces.

Chief Haines wasn’t sure about recruiting an alien. In her apartment he said, “Plain cheese pizza? Don’t you have food from home?”

“Sure!”

In her basement, the creatures were chained to the floor. Each was twelve-feet tall with man-sized crab-claws and scorpion tails. “Dinner!” exclaimed Aria.

“What do you shoot them with?”

“Shoot? That’s no fun. You choke them to death.”

Haines closed his gaping jaw. “Welcome to Seal Team Six.”
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Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/04/12/14-april-2017/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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28 Responses to The Recruitment Interview

  1. LOL! Do the alien food creatures get turned into crab and cheese pizza? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Eric,

    I can see where that would get her on Special Forces. 😉 Clever and imaginative story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Tough girl!!! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. List of X says:

    I’m sure that Aria would ace all the physical fitness tests. I seriously doubt she’ll pass the psychological evaluation, though.

    Liked by 2 people

    • EagleAye says:

      That’s an excellent point. Still, you never know. For her species, extreme violence that’s required for her to eat may be normal. It may not be the result of an unstable mind. The Chief will have to figure that out as he goes.

      Like

  5. Super gastronomic habits has she. But i am a wee bit concerned about her state of mind. But i guess that’s what the SEALS are looking for! Very cleverly written.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      “Super gastronomic,” I like this term. Yeah, may be too violent. You never know. She might also be the kindest hyper-predator ever. We’ll have to watch her closely and hope for the best. Thanks, Heel!

      Like

  6. jellico84 says:

    Love it! That would definitely win the job. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Joy Pixley says:

    As long as she can get within choking distance of the enemy, sounds like she’ll do well!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    This is certainly a different take on the prompt. Loved the ending.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Perhaps they could start her off hunting Burmese pythons in the Florida everglades.I hear that’s a big event these days.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Danny James says:

    Always amazed where you mind is at. Young children should be made to read your stories. It would scare them to death.

    DJ

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Great! I was right along with the alien recruitment thing, then the basement set me into gales of giggles.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Michael Wynn says:

    Alien ways I suppose, can’t judge them they just have different taste and do things differently

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      That’s precisely it. We can’t apply Human standards to them and then tell them they’re all wrong. Aliens will almost certainly eat differently than us. In parts of Vietnam they like to eat Tarantulas. I seriously doubt I could choke one down. That’s a major difference and it’s another Human society. How different would aliens be?

      Like

  13. amiewrites74 says:

    She has a certain set of skills that should come in handy. Thanks for the laugh. Loved this one!

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Oh yeah. Her hand-to-hand skills have got to be unparalleled. Her commander will probably never worry about it if she runs out of ammunition. 😉 Glad you got a laugh, and thanks! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Lyn says:

    I want her on my side! 😮

    Liked by 1 person

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