Birthday Greetings

In Portal, North Dakota, the US and Canadian customs agents often hung out together, telling tall tales about their respective countries.

Morris, the American customs agent stood 6’10” and boasted nearly three-hundred pounds of solid muscle. Morris was used to getting his way in life. If he wanted anything he would rumble, “But I want to!” which usually convinced anyone. Lastly, his favorite greeting was to pick up someone and shake them. Morris alone thought this was hysterically funny.

One day, the agents met on the Canadian side to celebrate Etienne’s birthday. Before Morris entered the tavern, the Canadians looked at him very seriously and said, “They say Etienne is half-moose. So, it’s best not to shake him.”

Morris scoffed at the obvious tall tale. “But I want to!”

He entered the tavern and roared, “Where’s Etienne! C’mere little buddy!”

“Hello!” said Etienne. All 8-feet of him eclipsed even Morris. His four-foot antlers cast deep shadows across the big man’s stricken expression.

As Etienne shook him like a ragdoll, Morris squeaked, “Happy Birthday?”
Written for What Pegman Saw:

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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16 Responses to Birthday Greetings

  1. The shoe is on the other foot. Or hoof. Nicely done!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The bully gets his comeuppance. Or is it takedown-ance?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lyn says:

    Etienne is, apparently, the French form of Stephen. Stephen in turn means crown I think antlers pass for a crown. Morris, don’t mess with royalty 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I liked the way you built this story. The dash of humour, the choice of certain words, the voice employed was just apt.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Eric,

    it almost feels like Paul Bunyon and Babe. Made me chuckle.



    Liked by 1 person

  6. James says:

    Literally half moose. I’d like to see his parents and hear their explanation for such a thing.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Dahlia says:

    Haha enjoyed this piece a lot – thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. luckyjc007 says:

    It’s great to see someone that is so bold…get taken back by one even bolder!

    Liked by 1 person

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