The Fish Expert

Photo by: The Storyteller’s Abode

The small town of Anagnos on the Grecian coast enjoyed a reputation for great fishing. Part of this was due to the exploits and the sage advice blog of The Fish Expert.

Stewart trudged along the beach past tourists and sunbathers to join his fishing friends. When he joined them, he began baiting his hooks with Tuna.

Anatolio shook his head at Stewart. He held up his tablet with The Fish Expert blog. “The Expert says you need Halibut right now.”

“Cor!” complained Stewart. “All I’ve got is Tuna.”

“Have some of mine.”

***

In the waters beyond the beach, a random mutation granted a group of octopuses outstanding intelligence.

“I love fishing,” said the octopus, Floo.

“Me too!” agreed Ooridoo, plucking some Halibut off a hook. “It’s the easy way to feed.”

“I’m getting bored with Halibut, though.”

“Yeah. Maybe some Orange Roughy.”

“Right!”

Floo opened his waterproof tablet and logged into his The Fish Expert account. He wrote:

Halibut is losing efficacy. Orange Roughy is what the skilled angler baits his hooks with now.

___________________________________
Written for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers: https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2017/05/22/fffaw-challenge-week-of-may-23-2017/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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25 Responses to The Fish Expert

  1. List of X says:

    I’m sure even humans of mediocre intelligence will be able to figure out the Fish Expert’s advice isn’t catching any fish and will click unfollow.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Congratulations! You’ve just won The Atlantis Octopus Club’s premier award for being the first blogger to publicly affirm the intelligence of Octopuses.
    You are invited to the awards ceremony to be held three miles west of Crete (bring your own diving gear) and are eager to welcome you with open arms as an honorary member of the AOC.

    Liked by 2 people

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! Yeah I’ll bet there will be open arms…and slashing beaks in the middle of it. No way I’m going to that. Not after the awards debacle from the Bermuda Barracuda Bureau! 😉 😀

      Like

      • With deepest regret, as secretary of the AOC must inform you that, due to the above comment where you clearly support the inconsiderate stereotype of the octopus as a “violent creature”, you have forfeited the Premier Award. The members have taken a vote and I’ve been asked to convey their wishes, which are as follows:
        “Tell him to go jump in a lake.”
        🙂

        Liked by 3 people

      • EagleAye says:

        It’s a shame that the AOC has misinterpreted my thoughts. I never intended to suggest octopuses are violent creatures, merely hungry ones. And I’m not prepared to jump in a lake either. There’s the Electric Eel Federation in there. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • The octopuses have already texted them and the EEF is waiting for you. Bwahaha…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Joy Pixley says:

    Technically, those octopi *are* fish experts, and seem to be good at fishing too, so at least they’re not lying. Another funny idea and well written, too. I’m always so impressed you can come up with these!

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Oh yes, they truly are fish experts. They just don’t have nearly as much in common with as their readers expect. 😉 Thanks so much, Joy. I chalk it all up to good quality rum. 😉 Cheers!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Joy Pixley says:

        Hm, maybe I should try rum. I was thinking that mead would make more sense for Eneana, but it’s wicked hard to get it around here.

        Liked by 1 person

      • EagleAye says:

        Ooh I love meade too. Rum is much easier to get, though.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Joy Pixley says:

        I’ve been terribly spoiled, because I used to live near the Earle Estates Meadery in upstate NY, so not only did I have excellent mead available, but many flavors, and mead tastings, too! Now I live in boring old California where all they have is wine. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • EagleAye says:

        Ooh, I would love to go to a meade tasting. You live in Northern California, yes? I used to find meade at Liquor Barn. You have to dig for it, but it’s there.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Joy Pixley says:

        I also used to live in Northern CA. But now I live in Southern CA. I could probably find a bottle of mead at a wine shop around here. But it would just be one bottle. Not a whole meadery. 😦 Still, if I ever have that Medieval dinner I’ve been dreaming of, it will be a mead-fest!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. The octopii had devised a plot of great SCALE. Groan. I had to say that. Or maybe I didn’t… 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Lyn says:

    Well, you fooled me that time 😀 I fully expected – with the introduction of the octokitties – they try using bits of human as bait. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. yarnspinnerr says:

    That says a lot about intra-species exploitation through disinformation. I am sure you have given an idea for future funding to some poor marine scientist.
    Hilarious read.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. kalpana solsi says:

    Floo’s tastes are slowly changing.

    Like

  8. afairymind says:

    Very amusing, Eric. Those octopi have got it sussed out! Great story. )

    Liked by 1 person

  9. As someone who is an experienced fisherman, I really appreciate the creativity here. I loved this!
    Sands of Time
    Annie at ~McGuffy’s Reader~

    Liked by 1 person

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