Getting Soft

Photo by: Al Forbes

The Yautja culture (known as Predators by humans) was dictated by the warrior code. Advancement in the society was driven by accomplishments in battle. Planetary Governors hunted wily Humans alone to prove themselves. Sector Governors lead teams to hunt Aliens.

But times were changing. The Yautja were getting soft. As a starfaring society, uninspiring work needed doing. Garbage needed collecting, and computer programmers lived at their desks. Politicians were the worst, more skilled at being served than serving.

Those who remembered the old ways hated the decline of warrior culture.

So when the planet Bitya’cur needed a new governor, Administrator Harkul insisted the contestants prove their worth in real battle. Eight of them were dropped off on Earth’s Komodo Island to hunt Komodo Dragons.

“I don’t know about this,” fretted Kauti, watching through the hunters’ cameras. “They look dangerous.”

“Bah!” scoffed Harkul. “They’re slow, dumb lizards. The contestants have plasma cannons! What could go wrong?”

But then…

“Ooh!” winced Kauti.

“Oh my!” gasped Harkul.

“Oy! That had to hurt!”

“Ooh, right in the…”

“Oh, this is bad.”

Within hours, all contestants were dead.

“You see?” said Kauti.

Harkul covered his face, mortified. The species was surely doomed. “Fine! We’ll do the usual.”

“And…?” prompted Kauti.

Harkul sighed, “They can go back to hunting squirrels.”
_________________________________
Written for Sunday Photo Fiction: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2017/05/28/sunday-photo-fiction-may-28th-2017/

Author’s Notes:

Predator from the movies: http://avp.wikia.com/wiki/Yautja_(Predator)

Aliens from the movies: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aliens_(film)

Komodo Dragon: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Komodo_dragon

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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12 Responses to Getting Soft

  1. Joy Pixley says:

    It’s a happy ending when the Komodo dragons win. Sorry, Predators. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. James says:

    The Yautja really have gotten soft. Time for a reboot.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lyn says:

    Let’s hear it for the Komodo… except when it’s chasing humans. Considering the Komodo can run briefly at speeds up to 13 miles per hour (20 kilometers per hour), so I’m keeping well out of their way 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ceayr says:

    Sad story, Eric, and it will get sadder if they try hunting squirrels in Glasgow. We breed them tough!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I don’t know. The squirrels may be fed up with the aliens and gang up on them. I wouldn’t want to face a group of violently angry squirrels who weren’t busy gathering acorns. They should wait until just before winter. Good writing, Eric. 😀 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      I hear you. Angry squirrels can be pretty vicious. Though I’m thinking even one of out of eight Predators (even fat and lazy ones) might still survive. The jury’s still out on that one though. 😉 Thanks Suzanne! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Haha I love it. I think the squirrels need to break out their plasma launchers and laser cannons.

    Liked by 1 person

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