The Butler Does It

Photo by: The Magicsticgoldenrose

After retiring from the Special Forces Wallace Curry couldn’t give up the excitement of his previous profession. He turned to burglary for money and excitement.

He cased Dintermouth Castle by attending a party there. He learned the young inheritor, Rex Dintermouth, employed very little staff.

“But who does your gardening?” Wallace asked Rex.

“Huxley, my butler does it.”

“You have chefs?”

“Huxley does it.”

“Surely you have a security team?”

“Nope. Huxley does it all.”

Looking at the elderly liver-spotted butler, Wallace smiled. He expected the wrinkled seventy-year old would be too exhausted to stop an invading puppy. This would be the easiest smash and grab yet.

Two nights later, Wallace sprawled on the Dintermouth floor in a puddle of his own blood. His shoulder was dislocated, his hand shattered, and his left knee bent at a gruesome angle.

Huxley, crouching over him, reached for Wallace’s last good arm with astonishing speed. “This will hurt a bit, sir.”

Rex approached the scene in silk pajamas and yawned. “New robotic body working okay, Huxley?”

Huxley grinned. “Smashing, sir.”
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Written for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers: https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2017/06/12/fffaw-challenge-week-of-june-13-2017-2/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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30 Responses to The Butler Does It

  1. Oh, I want one! (Robotic body — though I’d take a butler/chef/gardener, too.)
    Loved the “This will hurt a bit, sir,” as he’s dislocating the other shoulder. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. At least he’s polite while breaking an intruder’s body. 😉 I’ll be needing a robotic body too eventually. I hope the technology advances quickly so it’s ready by the time I’m 70. 😉 Thanks so much Christine! 🙂

      Like

  2. Hahahahaha! Great surprise ending! The butler was bionic! LOL! Great story!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. michael1148humphris says:

    A fine twist, and one I would not have expected. I hope Wallace sues over the use of undue force 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • EagleAye says:

      Glad I can catch folks off-guard now and then. Wallace may indeed sue, but he’ll have to do it from a prison cell. Huxley’s cameras (his eyes) and their recordings are admissible in court. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. kittysverses says:

    Great story 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lyn says:

    Where’s the “Love it” button when you need it? Completely unexpected ending. Oh i knew Wallace would cop it, but certainly not that way 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. Yeah, the overconfident guy usually gets it bad in my stories. I’m predictable in that way. I just hope to keep ya’ll guessing in other ways. 😉 Glad you had fun on this one. Thanks most kindly Lyn! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. James says:

    Better living through technology.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. yarnspinnerr says:

    A smashing story. Ingenious.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Leaking Ink says:

    O where can I get me a Huxley… pretty please?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. List of X says:

    The only thing Huxley doesn’t do is call the police. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. luckyjc007 says:

    Wow! Huxley is my kind of employee! I’m guessing all he really needs is a little lubricating oil once in a while. You can’t get more economical than that! Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. mandibelle16 says:

    Haha. Great twist 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. You are so creative. I always look forward to your stories. Thank you!
    Healed
    Annie at ~McGuffy’s Reader~

    Liked by 1 person

  13. kalpans solsi says:

    Wallace underestimated the bionic Butler. I guessed AI when the 70 year old was untiring after serving a host of roles of chef , gardener etc. loved your unusual interesting stories.

    http://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/06/the-mansion.html

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Yep. You picked up that clue very well. I like leaving a trail of breadcrumbs if I can. Glad you’re enjoying my stories. I really appreciate that. 🙂

      Like

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