The First Court Martial

The planetary colony of Franca was small. The population of 600 split perfectly between men and women. Due to the complexities of human sexuality this produced less than 300 couples. Colonel Baird and his Marines counted themselves among the population. Baird’s aide de camp, Lieutenant Vespa, often entertained his wife to prevent her boredom. Baird knew the effeminate Vespa was gay, so he never worried about impropriety. Indeed, Vespa was the best girlfriend of many Franca women.

One day whilst hiking in a secluded woods with Baird’s wife, Vespa discovered a most curious plant growing from a dead log. He couldn’t resist himself…

Later, Baird roared, “Why would you touch an alien plant?”

“Sorry, sir, but now the side-effects worry me.” He pointed to his glass. A duplicate plant already sprouted there. “It grows from anything my mouth touches!”

“Well, you better visit Doc Banerjee pronto!”

Minutes later, Doc Banerjee called his phone. “Colonel? Your wife just reported to the infirmary.”

“Is she alright.”

“She’s fine. Nothing life-threatening, but definitely curious.”

“Well spit it out, Doc. What’s going on?”

“Ah.” Banerjee hesitated.


“She has a most curious plant growing from her genitals.”

Written for Sunday Photo Fiction:

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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18 Responses to The First Court Martial

  1. James says:

    Naughty boy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Joy Pixley says:

    Oh my goodness. Well, I knew something like that was coming as soon as I read that the Colonel was so certain this man wasn’t fooling around with his wife, but I definitely wasn’t expecting the, er, nature of the evidence! Funny stuff, Eric — and great photo!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. jellico84 says:

    Snorting laughter! Love it. So much for his beloved aide being gay.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      No doubt. It’s guys/gals like him that prevents the couple count from reaching the “expected” 300. Some folks are just better “partners” than others. 😉 Glad you had fun. Thanks much! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. michael1148humphris says:

    The truth will always out? I did smile,

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      It always comes out eventually. He did rather well all considering how many women of the colony call him, “girlfriend.” 😉 Glad you smiled. Thanks most kindly! 🙂


  5. ceayr says:

    So can we say that Vespa’s bark was worse than his bite?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. luckyjc007 says:

    Vespa is quite the guy! He’s been very busy and leaving evidence of his actions among many….his luck is about to run out! Awesome photo.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Yep. I’m thinking once all of his “girlfriends” realize how far his attentions were spread, he’ll become one of the colony’s least popular men. They might even bring back tarring and feathering. 😉 Thanks so much! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Thanks for the picture that led to so many good stories, Eric. I suspect the definition of “girfriend” for Vespa has changed a good bit among the other men. Good writing as always. 😀 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  8. HAHAHAHA Whoops. The secret is out now.

    Liked by 1 person

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