The Staple Queen

Photo by: Claire Sheldon

Jasmine Stapleton worked in Classified Document Disposal for twenty years. Everyone feared her famous temper.

No one dared touch her cup of used staples.

The new boss Jeb MacIntosh, feared no one. He smirked, “Hey Jasmine. We’re going to play basketball. Want to join?”

Courting disaster, he sifted through the staple cup.

“I don’t play basketball,” grated Jasmine, her traditional Nigerian garb rustling.

“Oh? I thought all you people did.”

Witnesses swear they saw storm clouds swirling.

“The last boss that said something like that had an accident,” growled Jasmine.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Doctors surgically removed those staples from his colon.”
__________________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/07/05/7-july-2017/

Advertisements

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
This entry was posted in Short Fiction and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

43 Responses to The Staple Queen

  1. James says:

    Someone’s asking for colon surgery.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Back slowly away and never bend over. Ha ha
    Nothing good ever comes from “you people”.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jade M. Wong says:

    Whoooa….sounds like the doctors need to start prepping for Colon Surgery Part 2. Haha, well written and humorous as always!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. michael1148humphris says:

    He so in trouble. Is it his first and last day in the job.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Eric,

    “You people???” Not a jury will convict her for what she’s about to do. πŸ˜‰ Love it.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Yep. After the last, “altercation” she kept her job. That should tell dumb-dumb she won’t get in trouble for it this time either. Personally, I’m hoping he’s not smart enough to realize that. I’ll bring the popcorn. πŸ˜‰ Thanks Rochelle!

      Like

  6. Joy Pixley says:

    Oh my goodness, I think the new boss should rethink his “fear no one” strategy!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s going to take many boxes of chocolate to smooth these troubled waters. Well told.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Moon says:

    Hahaha! Surgically removing staples from colon is such a novel concept! πŸ™‚Wonderfully written !

    Liked by 1 person

  9. L.E.R.T says:

    Haha! Stereotyping most certainly backfires and spectacularly. Good on Ms. Stapleton (The name immediately takes me to The Hound of the Baskervilles) Well done. Cheers, Varad

    Liked by 1 person

  10. wmqcolby says:

    Hahahaha! Hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. yarnspinnerr says:

    πŸ™‚ Great write.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Another gun joins the list of lethal firearms – the staple gun! Excellent.

    Please click to read my FriFic

    Liked by 1 person

  13. And having them removed a second time… I think it’s time to back off… (and thank you for agreeing that it has to be staples)

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Yeah, dude needs to watch his mouth, and get some education. Shey and I stared at that pic for a while before we figured out what was in the cup. Glad you agree with us. Thanks Bjorn!

      Like

  14. Dale says:

    You people… eeesh….
    Were I him, I would retract everything and start anew… πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  15. subroto says:

    “you people”? Maybe it’s better if he staples his mouth himself.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Ha, ha. That sounds more like a promise than a threat to me, Eric. Staples could be a nasty weapon. πŸ˜€ —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Oh yes. I think when the boss checks up on what she said and realizes it’s true, he’ll be afraid to be in the same building with her! I believe staples up the patootie are banned by United Nations convention along with napalm and cluster bombs. πŸ˜‰ Thanks Suzanne! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Whoa! She is not to be messed with.

    Liked by 1 person

Don't be shy. Say something!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s