The world’s most influential climate change skeptic, James Malhof, smoked a cigar on his yacht. Elatedly, he explained his method to a trio of bikini-clad, busty blonds.
“It doesn’t matter what experts say,” he explained. “All I do is pretend to want fair discussion, and cause delay. Repeat a lie (that climate change isn’t really proven and that it’s a hoax) enough times and people will eventually believe it. I’ve told this lie through so many sources, overwhelming actual scientists, that now people believe me!” He waved his hand. “And now my salary pays for this yacht!”
A freak wave suddenly hit the boat and Malhof fell overboard. Sharks began to circle. “Help!” he called, but the blonds didn’t hear him. They were absorbed with taking selfies.
A family of the last sentient sea turtles in the world cruised nearby. All were quite malnourished. The coral reef, providing their food, was dying off in the acidified ocean.
One popped its head head above water, “You called for help?”
“Yes! These sharks will eat me any second!”
“Sharks eat people?”
“Of course! Ask any scientist!”
“But is that really proven?” smirked the turtle. “Let’s discuss this. Don’t scientists perpetrate hoaxes?”
Written for What Pegman Saw: https://whatpegmansaw.com/2017/07/22/great-barrier-reef-australia/