Driving along empty streets, North Korean Defense Minister Kwan looked outside. A huge golden statue of Kim Il-Sung presided over an empty plaza. His phone rang and Kwan answered.
“Do you have the new Safety Measure?” asked Foreign Minister Jang.
“Of course.”
“It’s important. If the Americans get too angry and attack, we’re finished.”
“I know that! Relax, we’re safe.”
“Safe?” spat Kim Jong-Un, leader of North Korea. Idly he drew doodles on the car seat with crayons. “With the Americans threatening us?”
“Your leadership keeps us safe, exalted one,” patronized Kwan.
“Give me the Nuclear Control Box,” said Kim. “I must destroy America.”
“You did that yesterday.”
“Again, again!” bounced Kim.
Kwan sighed and handed him a bright yellow box with colorful buttons. “Here is the Safety Mea…Control Box.”
Kim pointed to a logo. “What does this say?”
“Nothing, magnificent one.”
“Tell me!” insisted Kim.
“It says, ‘Fisher-Price.'”
______________________________________
Written for What Pegman Saw: https://whatpegmansaw.com/2017/08/26/416/
Author’s Notes:
Kim Il-Sung: “…the leader of North Korea from its establishment in 1948 until his death in 1994…he authorized the invasion of South Korea in 1950 triggering a defense of South Korea by the United Nations led by the United States.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Il-sung
Fisher-Price: “…an American company that produces educational toys for children and infants.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fisher-Price
EagleAye
Momus News 
That is definitely the Safety Mea–er Control Box that Petulant Chil–er Esteemed Leaders should have. Well done.
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Hehe. I think we should contract Fisher-Price to build more of them. I believe they’re needed. 😉 Thanks so much! 🙂
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Foolproof!
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Dear Eric,
While I laughed, a part of me cried. The fact that the man is probably about that childish, he controls a country full of terrified robots. That scares the youknowwhat outta me. Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I often wonder what he’s like. I consider that he grew up privileged. No one would ever dare to say no to him, or die. How practical-minded could he be as an adult? His obsession with building nukes while his people starve suggests he’s only dimly aware of reality. He scares the bejeezus out of me too. Thanks Rochelle! 🙂
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Nice one! Do you think it might work as well for the other side.
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One can only hope. I was thinking about that too. 😉 Thanks much! 🙂
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Poor Kim, he’s so smart he can not even read a logo and will probably have to be instructed on how to push the button! We are definitely dealing with a grown child and the really scary part is he can cause many lives to be destroyed.He’s already killing his own people and has no problem doing that! I don’t think he has one ounce of empathy in him!
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I don’t think he has empathy either. He’s a boy king with no morals. Before, mad kings only had knights to command. This one has (or will have) nuclear weapons. Yipes! It’s pretty scary. I’m just hoping that the THAAD defense system will work as well as it seems it can.
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So do I!
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If only it were that easy.
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I know. Unfortunately, this is pure fantasy. My dreams are sometimes my balm.
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I see him as more of a “whack a mole” or perhaps “Hungry Hippos” guy. Although perhaps that would too adult for him.
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Haha! I could see him with whack a mole. The image of him happily smashing small, harmless animals seems apt.
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If your portrayal and the commenters are accurate, he sounds like another Nero. The little emperors come and they go. Hey! Maybe I’ll contact fisher Price with an idea fr anew game — kind of like Monopoly. 😉
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Or maybe Caligula? Maybe Un will go out the way of the mad Roman Emperors. Struck down by his own people. I think Risk is still out there, a game about world domination. That might be too complex for the boy king of the DPRK.
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Almost afraid to comment on this… never know who’s listening/watching. But, damn, that’s funny! Fisher-Price to the rescue again!
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Hehe. I doubt the DPRK is watching this space. Fox News has said far worse and they haven’t been hit with a missile yet. 😉 Glad you got a laugh. Thanks so much! 🙂
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You have a risky streak in you nature, eagle, either that or a provocative ego hellbent on wide scale destruction and annihilation. Oh, wait, just realised, this story is about both sides, the best form of defence is offence, right?
Now, I wonder where the Fisher Price toy was made…
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Hehe. Just a dash of insanity, I expect. 😉 As Pogo said, “We have met the enemy and he is us!” I have a feeling that toy was made in Korea. 😉 Thanks so much! 🙂
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Ha, hilarious! He is a bit of a joke. I’m glad somebody’s keeping his fingers well away from any unfortunate buttons 🙂
(p.s. if you get a late-night visit from any Korean-looking chaps, I don’t know you. Sorry.)
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Sometimes the heroes are guys on the other side, keeping hotheads cool. Don’t worry, I doubt they’re reading this space, but even if they waterboard me I won’t give up your name. 😉 Glad you had fun, and thanks! 🙂
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It’s a nicely written story, which is the purpose of the photo challenge. I can’t help feeling, though, that your political analysis is flawed. Kim Jong Un seems to me to be fairly rational. He’s goaded the USA into a position where they can be presented to his people as the aggressor. That justifies the sacrifices that he Koreans are required to make to arm the country with nuclear missiles. He knows he can’t hope to win a war with the USA, but he believes that without nukes he’s dead meat.
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Thank you. But now let’s remember this story is pure satire. We shouldn’t take it too seriously.
That said, I don’t believe Un is nearly that clever at all. He’s not maneuvering anyone, he’s simply following a policy of belligerence set down by Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jung-Il before him. Throughout all of these regimes the US was portrayed as an aggressor. Nothing has changed under Jung-Un. Portraying the US as evil monsters is just business as usual. Secondly, the DPRK didn’t have a successful nuclear test (they’d been working on weaponizing since 1985) until 25 May 2009:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_nuclear_weapons_tests_of_North_Korea
So what about all the “decades” before then when they had no nuclear weapons? Were they dead meat prior to controlling nukes? No, they were not. They were not attacked by anyone. They weren’t in danger of military action at all. They were engaged with diplomacy. Nukes were unnecessary, and millions of North Koreans died of starvation and disease purely to please the egos of the DPRK’s obese family of rulers.
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