Photo by: Roger Bultot
“It happened right here,” said tour guide Mary. She specialized in Massachusetts landmarks. “The temporal event that started it.”
Sean looked at the building’s crumbling, ivy covered stones. “Wow, this building looks really old!”
“It’s not, actually. This is a Walmart.”
Sean’s jaw dropped. “Really?”
“They were having a sale on time machines. An employee mis-wired the display model. Sent the whole building back to 1692.”
“Gnarly!” crowed Sean. “They’d think you were magical ’cause you could make a frisbee fly. You could play Death Metal on a stereo. Awesome!”
“Not really,” murmured Mary. “Ever hear of the Salem Witch Trials?”
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Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/08/30/1-september-2017/
Author’s Notes:
Salem Witch Trials: “The Salem witch trials were a series of hearings and prosecutions of people accused of witchcraft in colonial Massachusetts between February 1692 and May 1693. The trials resulted in the executions of twenty people, fourteen of them women, and all but one by hanging. Five others (including two infant children) died in prison.”
EagleAye
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I hate to stroke your ego, but this was damn good.
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Hehe. So good to hear that. I’ll keep my ego under control. 😉 Thanks Ted! 🙂
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Somehow a place as plebeian as Walmart and time machines doesn’t compute in my brain.
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Haha! Excellent word choice. That’s precisely why I used something as “plebeian” as Walmart. It’s a weird combo. Time machines and Walmart have probably never before been together in the same story. 😉
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Well written, Eric, and the additional history is worth remembering. Mind you, this doesn’t look like the layout of our neighborhood Walmart, but who knows what all a time machine might scramble?
P.s.: I wouldn’t put that employee in charge of Shipping & Receiving — or did employees go with the building? Back in 1692 they’d have been imprisoned for public indecency if nothing else.
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Maybe it’s one of those upscale versions of popular stores where they hand you a glass of champagne as you enter. 😉 And I’m not sure I’d let that guy collect shopping carts. He might hurt somebody. He’s probably the one who played Death Metal to a bunch of Puritans. 😉 Thanks Christine! 🙂
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Back in 1690 even flicking a flashlight off and n would have gotten you burned at the stake. 🙂
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Haha! I’m pretty sure it would. And they would use your lighter to start the flames. 😉
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It really does pay to use professional installers when you have a new display set up. They could have spared everyone all that “burned as a witch trouble” from the beginning. 😉
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No kidding, and getting burned as a witch can serious ruin your day. 😉 Best to do things the right way in the first place. 😉 Thanks Joy!
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Clean up in aisle… ummm… all of them… Fun take on the prompt. I’m only on my second read and both were about time travel. What are the odds?
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Haha! I guess the picture lends itself to time-travel. A time plot, though not the one I eventually used, was the first thing that popped into my head. Glad you had fun and thanks! 🙂
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This is what happens when you drop a Walmart among die-hard Costco shoppers.
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Haha! What’s the saying? “Location, location, location!”
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Unlike the witch hunts in england where if a woman was accused by anyone of witchcraftery they were sat in tied to a seat, at the end of a boom, and dunked in the river. If they died – no witch. If they survived – they were a witch and burned at the stake. Humorous take on the prompt, as always.
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Oh yeah, I read about that one. Basically, some psychopath(s) wanted to just kill a woman, and he got his way either way. Glad you enjoyed this one. Thanks much!
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Thanks for sticking a silly grin on my face! Love it
Click to read my FriFic
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My pleasure. Spreading grins is my goal in life. 😉 Thanks kindly!
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I love this. It’s so funny, until you get to the ending and the horror really sinks in. You’re an excellent writer.
“The temporal event that started it.”
That’s my favorite bit. I love the way those words sound together.
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Thank you so much. I appreciate the glowing words. Glad you enjoyed this one. 🙂
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This was indeed a hoot, Eric!
All that plastic arriving in 1692 – the people would have been out of their minds trying to figure it all out!
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I know. In the end someone one would just call plastic witchcraft, along with other things like toasters and RC cars. 😉 Glad you had fun. Thanks!
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I can’t stop laughing long enough to type. Walmart! giggles…. I’m pretty sure ours has been transported into post-apocalyptic times. It’s a mess and you can’t find prices on anything half the time.
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Haha! I think mine came from a dystopic future too, also some of the employees. 😉 Glad you were laughing. That makes me happy. Thanks much! 🙂
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Dear Eric,
That’s one of those time travel stories that make my eyes spin in their sockets. The last line was perfection and made me laugh out loud.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hehe. Next time your eyes do that, would you video it? I’d like to put it on my writing resume. 😉 Glad the last line had the oomph I wanted. Thanks very much! 🙂
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Hah! Fabulous twist at the end – good stuff. There’s a couple of blocks in my district here in NZ where about four of them (all different chains) have been set up – the result is perma-jammed traffic and I can’t even drive down the road past them, going somewhere else, without stop-start delays. Crazy. So any chance you could send me one of those time machines? You’ve given me an idea on how to fix the problem…
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Yipes. That sounds like an area to avoid. Convenient stores all jammed together seem to be inconvenient. I’d send a time machine to you, but can’t remember where I put it…a day from now or a week from now… 😉 Thanks so much! 🙂
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Very neat twist 🙂
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I’ll have to second Ted’s emotion on this one, Eric. I’d like to see what happened to all the “People of Walmart” when this went down. Hilarious!
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Hehe. Thanks most kindly. The employees had a difficult adjustment period. Mostly having to endure a world without twitter or facebook. 😉
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I was talking about their peculiarly dressed customers, sometime referred to as Wal-Martians.
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Oh dear. That was funny but then the laughter got stuck, thinking of all these poor people being killed. In any case, great story.
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I expect a number of them survived. People will say whatever is needed to survive under duress. 😉 Thanks much! 🙂
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Nice but did they bring down the prices? “Brooms buy 10 for a cent..”
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I think they had to. Sometimes just a slice of pie for a broomstick. 😉 Thanks!
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