Heart Sandwiches

Photo by: Kelvin M. Knight

The heart sandwiches at Stein’s Deli developed an amazing reputation. They could cure any disease.

Wall Street tycoon Mitchell Fromme visited the doctor’s office. “What’s this withering disease, doc?”

Doctor Liston said, “Not sure yet.”

“Ate a pastrami sandwich at Stein’s. It didn’t help.”

“Well, it’s been medically documented. Those sandwiches work.”

“Why not for me?”

Liston checked his heart. “Wall Street guy, right?”

“Yep. Put three companies out of business last year. Made millions!”

Liston grimaced and tapped his stethoscope. Tried again. He sighed, “The medical literature is clear. Heart sandwiches only work…”

“Yeah?”

“…If you have a heart.”
_____________________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/09/13/15-september-2017/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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42 Responses to Heart Sandwiches

  1. James says:

    High powered tycoons and politicians are out of luck.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. granonine says:

    Beautifully crafted to the ending. Ya gotta have a heart πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Eric,

    Once more you’ve made me laugh out loud. Love it!

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nice little twist at the end. Maybe if he eats enough sandwiches he could grow a heart? πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Iain Kelly says:

    I saw the punchline coming halfway through, but no less effective for that. Nice one.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lyn says:

    He shouldn’t have expected anything less. Not so smart πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  7. beautyswot says:

    Ha! Poor guy. I really want one of those sandwiches

    Liked by 1 person

  8. What an awesome piece! Love the miraculous thing that can judiciously discriminate!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Jelli says:

    Ouch, what a bite! Great one there!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    Very creative piece. I want to live in a world where pastrami sandwiches are a cure all.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Ha. I loved it. You got to have heart!!!!!

    Randy

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Loved the ending! Very well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. gahlearner says:

    I love this. If only there were a sandwich that gives the heartless a heart, we could force-feed them.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Great story! I can definitely think of some politicians the heart sandwiches wouldn’t work on! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Meha Sharma says:

    One ought to wear his heart on his sleeve πŸ™‚ Good one !!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. subroto says:

    Surely he can afford to buy one or two or more hearts. Maybe a wolf one for wall street types. Nice one.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. rgayer55 says:

    My hat’s off to you, Eric. Outstanding humor this week.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. First of all I want to say excellent blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you do not mind.
    I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts before writing.
    I’ve had a hard time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out.
    I do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first
    10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted simply just trying to figure out how to
    begin. Any recommendations or hints? Thank you!

    Like

    • EagleAye says:

      Thank you. First of all, I don’t think those first 15 minutes are a waste. If you were planning to work out, you might stretch first to prepare your muscles. That stretching time wasn’t wasted because you weren’t working out. It’s an important part of the process. So just thinking but not writing didn’t mean you weren’t writing, you were preparing. Often stories don’t come to me immediately. I think and think, focusing on what I want. Then I let it go. I make coffee or prepare a snack. While doing “other things” my subconscious mind is still working on the story. It may seem that I’m not writing, but I am. Sometimes if I’m really struggling, I take a shower. Often story ideas form best while showering. Strange perhaps, but every person has something, no matter how ordinary, that helps them think. It’s up to you to find it. There are as many ways to write as there are people writing. Hope that helps.

      Like

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