Paddy Finds His Calling

Photo by: Kathryn Forbes

It was all a big mistake. Mem’Ank’Mati was supposed to awaken in the afterlife surrounded by slave girls and his favorite chariot. Instead, because a drunk priest applied palm oil instead of olive oil, he awoke inside a thirty-meter Egyptian statue. One that happened to be touring in Wiltshire, UK.

Mem’Ank’Mati was angry. Animating a giant statue, he smashed his way out of the museum. He wanted something, but wasn’t sure what it was. So he crashed through the city, toppling buildings everywhere he went.

The military intervened but their weapons merely bounced off and smashed yet more buildings.

Nearby, Paddy O’Sullivan sat in a pub getting drunk once more. He’d been fired because, again, he’d proven unreliable to manage anything. He’d experienced Delerium Tremens many times, so when an enormous, raging face appeared in the window he lofted his glass and said, “Care for a pint?”

One hour later, Mem’Ank’Mati sat in the street, finally feeling sated. An Army crane hoisted another barrel of Stewart’s Ale to Mem’Ank’Mati.

“Are you mad?” shouted Paddy at the Army Master-Sergeant.

“Sorry sir!” replied the twenty-year special forces veteran

“Give him Barry’s Barleywine!” He patted Mem’Ank’Mati. “There, there. You’ll be right as rain!”
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Written for Sunday Photo Fiction: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2017/10/08/sunday-photo-fiction-october-8th-2017/

Author’s Notes:

Beer in Egypt
“Beer was a staple of the Egyptian’s daily diet as well as a common form of compensation for work and frequently prescribed for one’s health.”
https://www.ancient.eu/article/1033/beer-in-ancient-egypt/

Beer is ancient. Oldest records show is was produced nearly 7,000 years ago. It is known that Egyptians drank beer and some historians surmise the Egyptians used beer as a form of currency. It’s common to ask friends for help moving and offer them beer as motivation. Likewise, it’s theorized that the pyramids were not built by slaves, but by willing men…who were paid in beer. Now that’s how things get done!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_beer