Just Go With It

Photo by: Al Forbes

People disliked Whitney on sight. No one knows why exactly. He was polite and friendly. He stood a mere 5’6″ and weighed 130 pounds. Rumors spread about him. Some tenants whispered he was a CIA assassin, others claimed he was a Russian sleeper agent.

Some knew he was an alien.

Folks claimed anything to justify bullying him all the time.

Then the hurricane arrived, hurling large objects everywhere. A crowd gathered to see the boat sitting on his balcony.

“There!” said Viola. “That’s his spaceship!”

“Told you he’s gonna make us all pod people!”

Whitney had to go to little Jeffrey’s birthday party despite the mess on his balcony. The toy “space gun” seemed perfect.

Bart and his bully’s found Whitney in the hallway. “Look! he’s got a ray gun!” warned Bart.

“What? This?” winced Whitney. He wondered if they were truly that stupid.

“He gonna burn us all down!”

Whitney didn’t sleep very well during the hurricane, so he was feeling punchy. “Right! Or on this setting, it’ll shrink your pricks and turn y’all into Democrats!”

Bart and friends gasped. “Now listen Wimply…ah Whitney. You know we was just playin’. No heart feelings, right? We’re just leavin’ now.”

Whitney kept the toy gun with him at all times after that.

No one ever bullied him again.
_____________________________________
Written for Sunday Photo Fiction: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2017/10/15/sunday-photo-fiction-october-15th-2017/

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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21 Responses to Just Go With It

  1. James says:

    Oh now, are all Republicans (or Libertarians) really bullies? Seems a bit “binary” to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Republicans? Who said they were Republicans? They could’ve been Communists, Nazis, Skinheads, Militant Greens, or host of other things. Anybody can be a bully. Besides, who would be stupid enough (e.g., “Nazis”) to believe a “ray gun” could change party affiliation? The offering is just a silly notion and shouldn’t be taken as political commentary. Remember, Whitley was tired and making up lame stuff just to get past the bullies.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. prior.. says:

    hm – a bit of politics to chew on – and loved “no heart feelings”
    also –
    β€œThere!” said Viola
    I felt voila come to mind….
    like the word choices here

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Joy Pixley says:

    Sometimes punchy is just what you need to be. Good for Whitney! Although in real life he might have been shot, trying that. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      That’s what we have fiction for, where fun and amusing ideas (that wouldn’t work in reality) actually do work. I like the Daredevil superhero where he’s blind but super-sensitive hearing allows him to fight like a super-ninja. Yeah, right! But who cares? It’s fun! πŸ˜‰ Thanks much, Joy! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Lyn says:

    “He wondered if they were truly that stupid.” Yes, Virginia…er, Whitney, some people truly are that stupid. I think to the bullies real character is seen in Bart’s statement, “No heart feelings.” Guess Whitney is going to have to give little Jeffrey something different for his birthday πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Varad says:

    Ah! I love this one, EA. An absolute riot.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. emmylgant says:

    Good story. Loved the humour.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ceayr says:

    Entertaining as ever, Eric.
    Is that what I said last week?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Great story as always Eric. I wonder what he will give Jeffery instead.

    Liked by 1 person

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