Communications: Faster Than Wisdom

The UFO Hunters convention, held near Carisbrooke Castle on the Isle of Wight, boasted thousands attending. Enthusiasts from around the world gathered to share pet conspiracy theories. Suddenly, someone pointed skyward into the fog…and screamed.

Chaos erupted as people reacted differently to the UFO. Many ran for cover, some wrote signs reading, “Welcome!” Another sign read, “Take me, but no anal probes!”

Aboard the world’s largest airship, tasked with hauling building maintenance materials to Carisbrooke Castle, the Captain glared through his binoculars at the chaotic scene below. He shook his head. “What awful timing!”

The copilot shrugged, “Don’t worry! Who takes UFO freaks seriously?”

***

The American president, whose fascination with Twitter was legendary, stared at his cell phone. To him, his friend’s tweet was clear. He turned to his top general. “Take us to DEFCON 1, and prepare a nuclear strike on the Isle of Wight.”
_________________________________
Written for What Pegman Saw: https://whatpegmansaw.com/2017/11/25/isle-of-wight-united-kingdom/

Author’s Notes:

I couldn’t resist, folks. Not with an apparent UFO visible just above the castle.

Hybrid Air Vehicles makes the world’s largest airship, designed for cargo hauling. Originally intended for the US Army, the project was cancelled in 2013. Recently, the UK provided funds to get the project, “off the ground” again. Who knows what people would think of it.
http://www.popularmechanics.com/flight/a14165/airlander-10-largest-airship-in-the-world/

Photo by: Popular Mechanics

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
This entry was posted in Short Fiction and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Communications: Faster Than Wisdom

  1. James says:

    Ah, so that’s what it was. You depict the Isle of Wight much as Roswell, New Mexico is pictured in my neck of the woods. Petty sure both locations are relatively safe from nuclear attack.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. Roswell is where American UFO Hunters like to go. Who know where European UFO Hunters visit? I’m sure there’s many locations. And yeah, I’m sure Roswell and Wight are pretty safe, even if one must hide the nuclear football to keep it that way. πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

      • James says:

        I read a story once that during the Obama Presidency, then-Vice President Joe Biden kept having his limo driver try to outrun the car behind with the officer who physically carried the “football,” driving that person nuts. It may have been sport to Biden, but if nuclear war broke out and President Obama had been unavailable or incapacitated, it would have been a difficult thing.

        Liked by 1 person

      • EagleAye says:

        Oh yeah, that wasn’t a game he should’ve played. The whole concept of MAD breaks down if there’s a notion that the US couldn’t respond instantly to nuclear attack.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! I never dreamed Siamese-twin pigs could fly!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. List of X says:

    Nope. Our president can’t possibly attack a place with the name that sounds too much like “I love white”. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I don’t know why people doubt UFO’s. I was kidnapped three times by aliens, last week alone! πŸ™‚ That Airlander’s in a bit of trouble just now – crashed and was reduced to a large quantity of fabric draped across a field. One of the crew was hurt, luckily not badly: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/19/worlds-largest-aircraft-crashes-bedfordshire-injuring-member/

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Uh huh. I thought it was you I saw on the spaceship. πŸ˜‰

      Apparently, the airship didn’t crash. It automatically deflates if it breaks free of the mooring, and that’s happened before. Now they just gotta figure out why it does that. The V-22 Osprey had far worse mishaps and now it’s a reliable workhorse.

      Hopefully they work the problems out in this machine. Good find on the link by the way. Thanks for that.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Eric,

    No doubt John Lennon and Elvis Presley are hanging out there. I’ve always known. πŸ˜‰ You make me laugh. (Very much appreciated today, thank you.)

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

  6. k rawson says:

    Hahaha, that’s great! I was going to be seriously disappointed if you didn’t work a UFO into your tale. But the twist was an even bigger treat! Poor Isle of Wight….

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lyn says:

    Well, I wonder how the Twitter addict would react to places such as Woop Woop, Humpty Doo, Tittybong, Watanobbi, Pimpinbudgie. I kid you not. These are actual places in Oz.
    http://www.list-directory.info/lists/place-names.html

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lynn Love says:

    Poor old Isle of Wight – reduced to molten debris by a trigger happy Twitter fiend! Would be amazing to see one of these huge airships fly, though of course, being a history graduate, I’d always have the Hindenburg and the R101 in the back of my head. I know they’re less flammable than they used to be, but still … Nice tale

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Don’t worry about the Isle. The White House staff hid the nuclear football until the commercials on Fox News ended. Then he started drafting a nasty tweet about Hillary Clinton and forgot all about the Isle.

      Luckily this new airship isn’t filled with hydrogen. So it won’t go up in flames like the Hindenburg. I’m hoping it works out well. It can haul huge amounts of cargo fro days, much faster than a boat and it can go anywhere. Crossing my fingers.

      Thanks so much for stopping in and commenting. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Great story. Reminds me of the kooky gatherings in Roswell.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Oh yeah, those Roswell gatherings came immediately to my mind. I figure there’s gotta be places in Europe where they like to gather too. I’m thinking Tunguska is just too remote. πŸ˜‰

      Thanks much!

      Like

  10. pennygadd51 says:

    I think the IoW would be an ideal place for the Convention in 2019! I’ll bring it up in the next AGM. Thank you for the suggestion, EagleAye.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. pennygadd51 says:

    BTW I thought your story was hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. β€œTake me, but no anal probes!” FAVORITE line among many. Your story made me laugh. Thanks Thanks Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

  13. prior.. says:

    you are so funny…. no anal probes – bah

    Liked by 1 person

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