Plant Intelligence

The gardens at Versailles were loaded with Fir trees, and that was the problem.

FSB Station Director Yuri Popanov gazed angrily at the trees. “Unbelievable.”

“I swear a tree took it,” said Russian FSB agent, Kumanski. “I know it’s crazy.”

“It isn’t. We’ve known the American CIA developed intelligent trees. We didn’t realize they’d already deployed them as agents. Of course, the tree that snatched the hypersonic anti-ship missile plans passed it on to another tree.”

“But which one? There’s so many!”

“That’s their weakness. We know it’s in a tree. We’ll find it. I’ve got twenty agents searching now.”

100 meters away, a signal burst out from a micro-radio. A series of more powerful radios passed it on.

In a small apartment in a poor neighborhood outside Paris, CIA Station Chief Kramer read the coded message.

“Okay folks,” he addressed the room. “Agent Rose Bush has the plans.”
Written for What Pegman Saw:

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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34 Responses to Plant Intelligence

  1. pennygadd51 says:

    Better send out the florist to collect Agent Rose!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. pennygadd51 says:

    You’ve written an entertaining tale – I enjoyed it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. James says:

    Every time I think of intelligence plants, John Wyndham’s novel “Day of the Triffids” and the 1963 film of the same name pops into my head.

    Agent Rose Bush. Any relation to Dubya and his Dad?

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! Yeah, sure they’re related. You just gotta go all the way back before the Carboniferous period when single-celled creatures were still separating out into the plant and animals kingdoms.

      Day of the Triffids is great Scifi from the Golden Age, and very forward thinking for the time.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. k rawson says:

    The trees make great agents, I’ll bet. It’s their wooden expressions 😉 Entertaining as always.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I didn’t see that twist coming! Perhaps the CIA’s tech skills were ‘flowering’. 🙂 (I had to say that…) On matters Versailles, I’ve been there, as a tourist – what sticks out in my memory was the guide explaining about the palace ‘conveniences’. Turns out when it was built there were two opinions about toilets in palaces. Everybody said you needed them. Louis XIV said you didn’t. And it was like, ‘who’s King?’ Net outcome was that when people needed to ‘go’, they just – er – went. And apparently every few months this whole incredible expression of Baroque and then Rococo art had to be evacuated so it could be cleaned (the royal family went into one of the Trianon buildings nearby, which I also visited). I got done out of the fountains, incidentally, they were under maintenance – as was the parquet floor in the Hall of Mirrors. One million bloody tourists annually and their wear-and-tear, and the day I turn up…! Bah.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Oh no fair! What a shame you didn’t get to see everything. I happen to know that during the time of Louis XIV, they didn’t take baths. Rather, they just applied more perfume. Yikes! For all that civilized splendor, the royalty was still rather backward. Looking at things might’ve been great, but smelling them…shudder. 😉


  6. Lyn says:

    Great take on the picture 🙂 I always love your quirky tales.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What fun! The last line made me snort. (Unladylike, I know.)


  8. Jelli says:

    HAHAHA! I can just imagine it! This story sure gave me a good giggle this evening! Agent Rosebush… love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. prior.. says:

    ha – agent rose bush also wants a pay raise or a software upgrade by next year – lol
    and your writing fit the image you chose so well

    Liked by 1 person

  10. A story bristling with your usual light-hearted seriousness. Good one.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Dear Eric,

    Only you. Agent Rose Bush. Now there’s a name planted in my psyche. 😉 Well done.



    Liked by 1 person

  12. draliman says:

    I’ve always suspected the trees were watching… fun tale!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. mandibelle16 says:

    Cute. Finding which tree took the object for the other side, that would be difficult, unless an actual agent was hiding amongst the trees or rose bushes. An intelligent rose bush would be something though. Would it hurt if you snipped of a rose or one fell off?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. lisarey1990 says:

    Really good. Very interesting take.

    Liked by 1 person

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