Photo by: Sandra Crook
Everyone thought it was a streetlight. It fizzled out when somebody needed it most, just like a real streetlight. In reality, it was an FTL transceiver used by alien spies. It transmitted a message as follows:
In conclusion, we determine that Earth is a nexus for critical intelligence data. Invading this planet would destroy vital information streams that ensure Empire security. Invasion is not recommended.
“Excellent report,” said Pfingzig, primping his feathers. “We’d suffer awfully without this intelligence.”
“Precisely,” replied Duiphil, collecting the TV remote and popcorn bowl. “We must know who wins The Voice and Dancing with the Stars!”
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Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2017/12/13/15-december-2017/
Author’s Notes
FTL: Faster Than Light.
Dancing with the Stars: “…is an American dance competition television series that premiered on June 1, 2005…”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dancing_with_the_Stars_(U.S._TV_series)
The Voice: “…is an American reality television singing competition…”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Voice_(U.S._TV_series)
EagleAye
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Always love reading your pieces, they make me laugh. Yes what if they never found out who won dancing with the stars. Could be the end of everything as they know it 😉☺️
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Exactly. Not knowing could cause the collapse of all reality. Best to stay on the safe side. 😉 Glad you’re enjoying my stories. Thanks so much! 🙂
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Even the aliens are hooked on crap TV!
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Right? Who ever guessed that “bread and circuses” would be our salvation?
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Dear Eric,
Well this would prove there’s intelligent life on other planets. 😉 Love it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Haha! Thank so much, Rochelle! 🙂
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hahahah – it does look like a disguised transformer
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I thought so. At least my suspicious mind thought it could be one. 😉 Thank much! 🙂
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Ha ha – good one! Thank you.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank you kindly! 🙂
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Too late, Duiphil is already infected! 🙂
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He’s totally done for. He’ll probably never leave Earth, held captive by the siren song of reality TV. 😉
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The aliens have been captured by our most insidious trap! Of course, it wasn’t meant to ensnare aliens, just lots of regular TV viewers, but hey, use what works. Funny piece, Eric!
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You’re right, if it works…it works. I guess the magic that captures the average viewer gets aliens too. Now all we’ve got to do is start a McDonalds franchise on their home planet…and they’re doomed. 😀
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As they say: Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated….
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😀 😀
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I guess there was a reason for these shows after all.
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It’s not generally known, but apparently the shows were devised in a DARPA lab in Tennessee. They imagined them in the 60s. It just took them a while to “weaponize” the programs. 😉
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I have little interest in either series, but if “Britain’s Got Talent” or “America’s Got Talent” were still on…that would be different!
Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2017/12/14/lighting-the-way/
Scott
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Haha! We all have our favorites. 😉
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🙂
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Ha ha ha ha. The sleeper cell has gone native! The pointy thingie on top of the lamp post does look a lot like a transmitter 🙂
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Right? The first I thought was communications antennae. And it’s true, the aliens “have gone native.” We’ve corrupted them with television, something they had no defense against. . 😉
Thanks so much! 🙂
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The popcorn and remote control were a masterly touch. Nicely done.
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I hoped folks would enjoy that bit. Thanks kindly! 🙂
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Sounds like they’ve “gone native” 🙂 Just as well for us.
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Haha! I like the way folks are using the “gone native” term. It’s so true in this case. The siren’s call of television would not be denied. 😉
Thanks kindly! 🙂
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We live in an information age but not sure if we are tapping into the right info!
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So true. It’s the information age, but no one ever promised it was “practical” information.
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Yep👍
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They’ll be competing on one of those shows next! Excellent.
Click to read my FriFic!
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Haha! Duiphil is already trying to get on Wheel of Fortune. 😉 Thanks Keith!
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Well, who’d have thought that reality TV would save the world! Love the title, EagleAye!
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Wow. To think that’s all it boils down to. Enjoyed this very much, it made me smile.
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Yep. The aliens are easily won over. 😉 Glad you had fun. Thanks so much!
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This story made me smile. Heaven help earth if aliens watch our TV, they might get some odd ideas.
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No kidding. If aliens judge us by our television, they might decide we’re a malignant viral infection and try to eradicate us. 😉 Glad you smiled. Thanks Michael! 🙂
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We had a power outage on the same night as the finale to Survivor (this was a long time ago). My wonderful husband rigged up a TV to run off the car battery so i could watch it. There are things in life we just have to know. Another pleasurable read.
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I know. They really know how to rope people in and get you hooked. Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks so much! 🙂
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Now that ‘Net Neutrality’ is gone, guess the time might be ripe for an invasion 😀
“FOR NETFLIX”
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Haha! Viv la Netflix!
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LOL, that is one funny story.
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Aw shucks. Glad you liked it. Thank you! 🙂
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Haha – loved this story 😀
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Thanks bunches! 🙂
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Once again, you have made me laugh. Thank you!
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As always, it’s my pleasure. Thank you! 🙂
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Ha.. aliens caught up reality shows… maybe we can thank the Kardashians for saving the world.
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Haha! At least we can thank the Kardashians for something!.
Thanks Bjorn! 🙂
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:):):), too good. We have our own Hindi version of these realities shows and our life depends on them, let your aliens watch them, they will forget American shows, :).
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Haha! Makes sense. Your movie industry is bigger than ours, why not the same with reality shows? I watched a Jackie Chan movie recently. He played a chinese treasure hunter who teamed up with an Indian treasure hunter. The whole movie was a joint Chinese/Indian production. so at the end of it I wondered, “Will they do a dance?” Sure enough, they did! I laughed so hard. I’ll make sure the aliens watch some Indian reality shows. Whatever it takes to keep the world safe. 😉 Thanks Indira!
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I haven’t seen this movie. I’m a great fan of Jackie Chan. In Indian movies they can dance in any situation. 🙂
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It’s called “Kung Fu Yoga” It’s really entertaining. You can find it on Netflix if you have it.
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He came to India for its promotion and appeared in a reality show and danced on a Hindi song. What they will do for promotion. I’ll watch this.
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And here we’ve been afraid of the aliens. Heck, they’re a lot like us.Good writing, Eric. Hilarious. 😀 —- Suzanne
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Yep. It’s so often like that when meeting a foreign culture. On the surface they’re different, but in critical ways, they’re just the same. Glad you had fun. Thanks kindly Suzanne!
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