Santa Explained

Mandy Pillar, intrepid reporter, had scored the scoop of the century. She took a helicopter ride with him to a nearby mountain overlooking the town of North Pole, Alaska.

As they stood at a cliff, Ray explained he was exhausted. “It’s tough being Christmas’ Chief Foreman. You’re on 24/7/365. The stress is enormous.”

He pointed to a series of massive buildings. “We wrap presents there. Santas in those tall buildings there.”

“Santas? Plural?”

“Yep. There’s 101,010 of them. The original had a mutation. He could copy himself.”

“My God!”

“Yep. We keep the time machines there.”

“Huh?”

“The classic story isn’t quite accurate. Every day, Santas go forward in time to Christmas Eve to deliver presents. Each makes about 8 trips a day. We operate every day all year long.”

“The toys are in that gigantic building there?”

“Nope. That’s for Brandy, Eggnog and Cookies.” Ray shrugged. “Santa needs his comforts.”
____________________________________
Written for What Pegman Saw: https://whatpegmansaw.com/2017/12/23/what-pegman-saw-north-pole-alaska/

Author’s Notes:

101010 is binary for the number 42: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/yes-the-answer-to-the-universe-really-is-42-1351201.html

Merry Christmas everybody!

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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23 Responses to Santa Explained

  1. A rational explanation at last! Thanks for contributing, and have a wonderful holiday.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. k rawson says:

    Ingenious! At last the explanation makes sense. Although I’m suddenly craving brandy and eggnog.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. James says:

    You’ve outdone yourself this time. Well played.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. List of X says:

    Who’s Brandy? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Eric,

    I hope you’re keeping a file for Hannah. What an imagination you have. Love this one. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Fun! At last an explanation for all those Santas we see from one store to another. Bring on the nog.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. pennygadd51 says:

    Fun story. I’m glad you explained the multiplicity of Santas. It has always puzzled me!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. draliman says:

    At last we know! Nice one 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Lyn says:

    So that’s how he does it! And Hollywood tried to tell us it’s someone who picks up The Santa Clause card Not much into brandy, but I say “no,” to a small glass of Buller’s Malmsey. A very moreish and decadent offering. There are hints of toasted almonds and wood chips, but only slightly. The sweetness of the Malmsey is what strikes you first, followed by a delightful warm spreading mellowness 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This was hilariously great and a grand new concept of how Santa does his thing in one day!
    Loved it.
    Scott

    Liked by 1 person

  11. My mom used to say that Santa is real, but the parents help him out. She never mentioned the time-machines

    Liked by 1 person

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