The Freshest Food

Photo by: Roger Bultot

Mark sat with his guide, Gondo, on the isle of Butanga. Jamie’s Restaurant advertised the freshest food anywhere.

Seagulls flocked in huge numbers above.

Servers provided a small grill and curious-looking tools. They opened up a complex of nets leading to woven funnels at each table. Inside the funnel they placed french fries.

Mark reached for the fries.

“That’s not for us,” said Gondo.

“What are we eating?”

“It will come,” grinned Gondo.

Soon a seagull, drawn by the fries, tumbled down the funnel.

Gondo reached in, snapped the squawking bird’s neck, and said, “At last. Our meal is served!”
Written for the Friday Fictioneers:


About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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53 Responses to The Freshest Food

  1. Iain Kelly says:

    Excellent idea, not sure how seagulls taste, but it would soon clear them away from the restaurants. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Seems seagulls aren’t that bright. Put out french fries and the birds just cannot resist the allure. I don’t know how Seagulls taste either. Maybe a diet of fries makes them fatty and tasty? πŸ˜‰ Thanks Iain! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  2. James says:

    Fresh doesn’t necessarily mean good. I’ll just take the fries.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Raw!🀀 Mightn’t they be , um, chewy? πŸ™
    What have you got against seagulls? But fries will definitely attract them.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have heard from people who have tried that seagulls are not tasty… even rats taste better.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Alice Audrey says:

    I think I’ll stick with the fries. You never know where those seagulls have been.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. michael1148humphris says:

    Loved this amusing story which also reminded me of St Kilda Scotland.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it. But I have to ask: why does it remind you of St. Kilda?


      • michael1148humphris says:

        Sea birds where a staple item of the diet for the people of St Kilda.

        Liked by 1 person

      • EagleAye says:

        That’s where it was! I saw part of a documentary on PBS. These people were capturing Puffins (sea birds) and then stuffing them into holes in the ground to (pickle? marinate?). Apparently it was a delicacy. I just missed the part where they said this happened. I knew it was up North, but that’s all. Now I know. Thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Lyn says:

    KFS…nah, doesn’t hold the same appeal as KFC. Seagulls are thieving varmints, but eat them? Maybe they could use them in skeet shoots πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      People eat all sorts of strange stuff. There’s villages in Vietnam where they love to eat roasted Tarantulas. Given the choice between that and a seagull, I’d take the seagull. I’d just choke it down dipped in soy sauce and lime juice. πŸ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Dale says:

    No worries… tastes like chicken! That’s what I was told! Though, I think I’d go for the fries.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You can’t get fresher than that!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sandra says:

    The fries for me… every time. I can’t imagine eating seagull.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Sandra says:

    I think I lost my comment, but if not, sorry. I said I’d pass on the seagull.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Dear Eric,

    Now that’s as fresh as they come. πŸ˜‰ I can always count on a healthy serving of “off the wall” when I come to your diner. As usual, I’m not disappointed. Well done (please).



    Liked by 1 person

  13. Liz Young says:

    I wouldn’t eat seagull – far too fishy! Neat take on the tprompt, though!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I am constantly plagued by wretched seagulls living by a beach as I do – any recipe you might have would come in very useful!

    Click to read my FriFic!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. At last a predator for those flying rats… those gulls from the sea. An unhumorous story something different for you. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. rgayer55R says:

    It doesn’t get any fresher than that.
    I’ve been to steak houses where it took so long to get your meal you’d swear they had to butcher the beef after you placed your order.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! I think I ate at the same places. One time I waited so long I was certain some hapless cook had to go chase the cow around the barnyard with a large cleaver. At least that would explain the strange noises from the kitchen. πŸ˜‰


  17. Dahlia says:

    If it is fries, even I too would probably jump in!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. granonine says:

    Ew. Seagull? Really?? Scavengers, the little rascals. Stole a tomato right out of my sandwich once.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      I was in San Diego once going to feed the dolphins. Seagull swooped down and stole the fish right out of my hand. That’s why I’m getting my revenge in this story. This time, the seagull gets eaten! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Dan Bohn says:

    Great bait, great harvesting invention, great story.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I wouldn’t look forward to someone cleaning a bird full of fish at a table where I’m eating. I’d lose any hunger I felt then and there. Good writing, Eric. Your imagination was working overtime on this one. πŸ˜€ — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Pingback: The Freshest Food… With A Twist! – Social Buzz

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