Photo by: Roger Bultot
Mark sat with his guide, Gondo, on the isle of Butanga. Jamie’s Restaurant advertised the freshest food anywhere.
Seagulls flocked in huge numbers above.
Servers provided a small grill and curious-looking tools. They opened up a complex of nets leading to woven funnels at each table. Inside the funnel they placed french fries.
Mark reached for the fries.
“That’s not for us,” said Gondo.
“What are we eating?”
“It will come,” grinned Gondo.
Soon a seagull, drawn by the fries, tumbled down the funnel.
Gondo reached in, snapped the squawking bird’s neck, and said, “At last. Our meal is served!”
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Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2018/01/03/5-january-2018/
EagleAye
Momus News 
Excellent idea, not sure how seagulls taste, but it would soon clear them away from the restaurants. 🙂
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Seems seagulls aren’t that bright. Put out french fries and the birds just cannot resist the allure. I don’t know how Seagulls taste either. Maybe a diet of fries makes them fatty and tasty? 😉 Thanks Iain! 🙂
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Fresh doesn’t necessarily mean good. I’ll just take the fries.
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Eh, what? And pass up fresh seagull? You don’t know what you’re missing. 😉
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I’ll take your word for it.
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Raw!🤤 Mightn’t they be , um, chewy? 🙁
What have you got against seagulls? But fries will definitely attract them.
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Oh, not raw. That’s what the little grill is for. Later they deliver some tasty dipping sauces. Still, I think the fries might attract me too. 😉
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I have heard from people who have tried that seagulls are not tasty… even rats taste better.
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Whoa! And those are some open-minded folks to have tried both. 😉
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I think I’ll stick with the fries. You never know where those seagulls have been.
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True enough, but chances are they’ve been eating a lot of fries. 😉 Thanks for stopping in! 🙂
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Loved this amusing story which also reminded me of St Kilda Scotland.
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Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it. But I have to ask: why does it remind you of St. Kilda?
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Sea birds where a staple item of the diet for the people of St Kilda.
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That’s where it was! I saw part of a documentary on PBS. These people were capturing Puffins (sea birds) and then stuffing them into holes in the ground to (pickle? marinate?). Apparently it was a delicacy. I just missed the part where they said this happened. I knew it was up North, but that’s all. Now I know. Thank you!
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KFS…nah, doesn’t hold the same appeal as KFC. Seagulls are thieving varmints, but eat them? Maybe they could use them in skeet shoots 😉
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People eat all sorts of strange stuff. There’s villages in Vietnam where they love to eat roasted Tarantulas. Given the choice between that and a seagull, I’d take the seagull. I’d just choke it down dipped in soy sauce and lime juice. 😉
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No worries… tastes like chicken! That’s what I was told! Though, I think I’d go for the fries.
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I think I would too. I’d just explain it all away by saying I had a seagull allergy. 😉
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There ya go. Fear of avian flu and all that…
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! You can’t get fresher than that!
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Exactly. No previously frozen food here. 😉
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The fries for me… every time. I can’t imagine eating seagull.
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I’d dig into the fries too. Seagull feathers always get stuck in my throat. 😉
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I think I lost my comment, but if not, sorry. I said I’d pass on the seagull.
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Clever…
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Thank you! 🙂
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Dear Eric,
Now that’s as fresh as they come. 😉 I can always count on a healthy serving of “off the wall” when I come to your diner. As usual, I’m not disappointed. Well done (please).
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hehe. One well-done seagull coming right up. Would you like fries or salad with that? 😉 Thanks so much, Rochelle!
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I wouldn’t eat seagull – far too fishy! Neat take on the tprompt, though!
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I’ll bet seagulls are very oily. Waterfowl usually are. But Peking Duck is wonderful, though. Maybe Peking Seagull? 😉 Thanks very much! 🙂
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I am constantly plagued by wretched seagulls living by a beach as I do – any recipe you might have would come in very useful!
Click to read my FriFic!
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I highly recommend marinating them in Indian spices and roasting them in a clay oven. Tandoori Seagull. 😉
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At last a predator for those flying rats… those gulls from the sea. An unhumorous story something different for you. Well done.
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There’s hardly any chance of them becoming endangered is there? Thanks so much! 🙂
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It doesn’t get any fresher than that.
I’ve been to steak houses where it took so long to get your meal you’d swear they had to butcher the beef after you placed your order.
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Haha! I think I ate at the same places. One time I waited so long I was certain some hapless cook had to go chase the cow around the barnyard with a large cleaver. At least that would explain the strange noises from the kitchen. 😉
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Ingenious.
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Thank you!
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Now that’s fresh! Just don’t order beef!
Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2018/01/05/disappearing-act/
Scott
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Haha! No kidding. And if they offer fresh Ostrich, count me out! Thanks kindly! 🙂
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If it is fries, even I too would probably jump in!
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They really are addicting aren’t they?
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😁
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Ew. Seagull? Really?? Scavengers, the little rascals. Stole a tomato right out of my sandwich once.
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I was in San Diego once going to feed the dolphins. Seagull swooped down and stole the fish right out of my hand. That’s why I’m getting my revenge in this story. This time, the seagull gets eaten! 😉 😀
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Great bait, great harvesting invention, great story.
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Glad to hear it. Thank you kindly!
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Welcome. I truly enjoyed the harvesting invention. Now if they were catching squirrels I’d give you my credit card number.
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Haha! I’ll have to work on that. I might have to add additional staff at the lab. 😉
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I wouldn’t look forward to someone cleaning a bird full of fish at a table where I’m eating. I’d lose any hunger I felt then and there. Good writing, Eric. Your imagination was working overtime on this one. 😀 — Suzanne
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True, maybe the defeathering and gutting is best done out of sight. At least you could eat fries while you wait. 😉 Thanks so much, Suzanne! 🙂
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