
Photo by: Victor and Sarah Potter
“I keep rare giant spiders here,” explained Darcy to Detective King. She pointed at a web. “That’s my Silver Spider. I used to have far larger Giant Huntsmen and Goliath Birdeaters. The Silver killed and ate them.”
“Uh huh. We’ve received complaints.”
“That’s my nosy neighbor. He sneaks into my yard, then complains about what’s in my greenhouse.”
“What’s the Silver eating now?”
“I have no idea.”
“Well,” said King. “Someone obviously broke in. Judging by the amount of blood, he didn’t survive it. But there’s no body.”
“Strange. You know, I haven’t seen that nosy neighbor in a while…”
_______________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2018/01/10/12-january-2017/
Author’s Notes:
The Silver Spider is pure imagination. However the Goliath Birdeater is not. It’s also known as the Dinner Plate spider because it’s legs stretch across 11 freakin’ inches! The Giant Huntsman from Australia is also huge. Here’s more info:
http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20160314-the-worlds-largest-spider-is-the-size-of-a-dinner-plate

Wikipedia
You can just keep those giant spiders for yourself, thank you very much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! They’re not for me either. I’ll leave them to enthusiasts like Darcy. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL. Great story with a lovely humorous twist. That’ll teach the neighbour.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hehe. Nosy neighbors beware! 😉 Thanks most kindly! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh no – the case of the nosy neighbour eating spider.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hehe. I’m thinking that should be the species name. 😉
LikeLike
Ha.. I would not complain… I would move.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right? And practical thinking like that is probably why you’re still breathing. 😉
LikeLike
That picture combined with the story… quite enough thanks! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! I don’t mind spiders…as long as they’re nowhere near me. 😉
Thanks Iain!
LikeLike
Cannot think of large spiders without remembering the old movie “The Incredible Shrinking Man”. Show scared me and set me off of a lot of my love for horror.
Gotta say, I didn’t see that one coming…great!
Scott
Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2018/01/10/welcome-to-my-parlor/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha. I totally remember that one. That spider chased him everywhere. He finally killed it with a needle as it pounced upon him. That was intense! Glad the end was a surprise. Thanks much! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great show…waiting for a remake with, say, Will Smith as the man.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hehe. He’s already remade Omega Man. Why not?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep, that’s what I was thinking. Also, if you haven’t watched “Bright” it’s well worth the time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, Shey and I were gonna check that out. Thanks for the confirmation that it’s good.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I thought that I did not mind spiders, but eleven inches across, that’s worrying.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No kidding. I wouldn’t even try to step on one. I’d just run for it. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Methinks Darcy shouldn’t have mentioned that last bit out loud to the detective. You know, just in case. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! So true. It does look rather suspicious doesn’t it? Then again, exactly how would Detective King explain to the Police Chief that the murder weapon that consumed an entire body was an “attack spider?” I’d pay to see what happens next. 😉
Thanks Joy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I might enjoy seeing it — I just wouldn’t want to be implicated in it, as the spider’s guardian!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Superbly written. I could totally imagine this
The big spider looks a little scary though
Click Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! That huge spider is scary. If I saw one on my table like that, I’d head for the hills! 😉
LikeLike
The nosy neighbour got his just desserts! And no, I am not opening that link, thank you very much 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! The nosy neighbor “was” dessert! I don’t blame you fro not clicking the link. There’s some mighty big spiders in there. 😉
Thanks so much! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wonder if his silver spider is related to Binky 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hehe. They’re very distant cousins, going back to the Triassic. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well if you’re going to take in a lodger, it might as well be a neighbour eating one. Nice one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! A lodger like that can work out well. Burglars beware! 😉
Thanks Sandra. 🙂
LikeLike
Dear Eric,
You’ve taken creepy to the highest level this week. That photo…eeeeeeeeek! However that is one way to get rid of a nosy neighbor. Of course the pragmatic side of me says all the police have to do is get a blood sample and check for DNA. Just sayin’. 😉 Good one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hehe. Creepy crawlies have that effect. Actually Darcy had no nefarious intent. The neighbor just paid a high price for sticking his nose in too far. I think the police will confirm the neighbor’s DNA, but it’s hard to get a murder conviction without…that really important thing…a body. 😉
Thanks so much, Rochelle! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lesson learned: keep your nose where it belongs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No doubt. If something looks scary enough to complain about it, then don’t walk into it. 😉
Thanks for stopping in! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wondered whatever had become of Gladys Kravitz.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hehe. She never did find a genie, I guess. She found something far worse! 😉
LikeLike
I’m one of those weird people who thinks spiders are way cool! I love to watch them spin their web. When I am lucky enough to get the beautiful garden spiders I actually feed them. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ahh! Where I grew up we used to have lots of garden spiders. So beautifully colored. And yes, we fed them too. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Here in Australia we always carry a shotgun in case a giant spider comes charging at you. Though with the amount of money wasted in buying ammunition I wonder whether investing in a metal armour and a sharp sword would be better choice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m thinking the latter might be the better choice. It’s be more fun and be a great conversation starter at cocktail parties. 🙂
LikeLike
Is that just desserts? Literally?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha! I think it is. Maybe the next neighbor would be kind enough to bring a jar of Maraschino Cherries as a topper. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, where is a nosy neighbour when your’e feeling some pangs of hunger?
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha! One could always move to Manhattan. There’s no shortage of neighbors there. 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
…and I always thought spiders were cute!
Click to read my FriFic!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hehe. I always find them interesting…until one gets on me…then they’re horrific demons! 😉
LikeLike
Shudder.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You, me, and a bunch of other folks too. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Listen – the first film I saw as a child was Swiss Family Robinson, in 1955, before they took the giant spider out. I have never recovered, and now you write this? Thanks a lot!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Ohmigosh. Sorry about that. I’ll be sure to write about hummingbirds or butterflies next time.
LikeLike
Pingback: An Interrupted Vacation | Momus News
I have a neighbor, I need a Silver Spider. Did I type that out loud? Ohhh I wouldn’t really do that.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Haha! I understand…and I wouldn’t ever go ahead and send one to you via UPS, arriving in 5 days. 😉
Thanks Dan!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well Done EA! That will teach them! Hopefully the silver spider didn’t get indigestion . Hee Hee
LikeLiked by 2 people
Naw. It knows where she keeps the Rolaids. 😉 Thanks most kindly! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: 5 Fantastic Flash Fictions | Penstricken
I was going to say what Dan said… I have a neighbour…
I’m thinking that the digestive system of this critter is something else… how long would it take to eat and digest? 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
True. A very fast metabolism, maybe? Perhaps there’s body parts wrapped up in silk in scattered, hidden places?
Of course if you had this hypothetical neighbor who was annoying and…hypothetically…I could send this entirely fictional spider to you. Then…hypothetically…it might arrive via UPS in about a week… 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hypothetically speaking, said neighbour is big and fat…so better make it a particularly big spider….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! Hypothetically speaking…it will be. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m really, really glad the Silver Spider is made up, Eric. The thing must eat bones as the whole body of the nosy neighbor disappeared. The things, therefore, either got teeth or a bodily fluid like acid. It sounds like something out of Harry Potter. Good writing, Eric. 😀 — Suzanne
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh yeah, they can eat bones. Normal spiders inject an acid that breaks down the insides of their prey. Then they suck up the resulting soup. Creepy eh?
Thanks so much, Suzanne! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, that’s indeed creepy.
— Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: 5 Fantastic Flash Fictions – Penstricken