The Nosy Neighbor

Photo by: Victor and Sarah Potter

“I keep rare giant spiders here,” explained Darcy to Detective King. She pointed at a web. “That’s my Silver Spider. I used to have far larger Giant Huntsmen and Goliath Birdeaters. The Silver killed and ate them.”

“Uh huh. We’ve received complaints.”

“That’s my nosy neighbor. He sneaks into my yard, then complains about what’s in my greenhouse.”

“What’s the Silver eating now?”

“I have no idea.”

“Well,” said King. “Someone obviously broke in. Judging by the amount of blood, he didn’t survive it. But there’s no body.”

“Strange. You know, I haven’t seen that nosy neighbor in a while…”
_______________________________
Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2018/01/10/12-january-2017/

Author’s Notes:

The Silver Spider is pure imagination. However the Goliath Birdeater is not. It’s also known as the Dinner Plate spider because it’s legs stretch across 11 freakin’ inches! The Giant Huntsman from Australia is also huge. Here’s more info:
http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20160314-the-worlds-largest-spider-is-the-size-of-a-dinner-plate

Wikipedia

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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63 Responses to The Nosy Neighbor

  1. James says:

    You can just keep those giant spiders for yourself, thank you very much.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LOL. Great story with a lovely humorous twist. That’ll teach the neighbour.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh no – the case of the nosy neighbour eating spider.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ha.. I would not complain… I would move.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Iain Kelly says:

    That picture combined with the story… quite enough thanks! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Cannot think of large spiders without remembering the old movie “The Incredible Shrinking Man”. Show scared me and set me off of a lot of my love for horror.
    Gotta say, I didn’t see that one coming…great!
    Scott
    Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2018/01/10/welcome-to-my-parlor/

    Liked by 1 person

  7. michael1148humphris says:

    I thought that I did not mind spiders, but eleven inches across, that’s worrying.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Joy Pixley says:

    Methinks Darcy shouldn’t have mentioned that last bit out loud to the detective. You know, just in case. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Mrs. Dash says:

    Superbly written. I could totally imagine this
    The big spider looks a little scary though

    Click Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says

    Liked by 1 person

  10. The nosy neighbour got his just desserts! And no, I am not opening that link, thank you very much πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Lyn says:

    I wonder if his silver spider is related to Binky πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Sandra says:

    Well if you’re going to take in a lodger, it might as well be a neighbour eating one. Nice one.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Dear Eric,

    You’ve taken creepy to the highest level this week. That photo…eeeeeeeeek! However that is one way to get rid of a nosy neighbor. Of course the pragmatic side of me says all the police have to do is get a blood sample and check for DNA. Just sayin’. πŸ˜‰ Good one.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. Creepy crawlies have that effect. Actually Darcy had no nefarious intent. The neighbor just paid a high price for sticking his nose in too far. I think the police will confirm the neighbor’s DNA, but it’s hard to get a murder conviction without…that really important thing…a body. πŸ˜‰

      Thanks so much, Rochelle! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  14. Lesson learned: keep your nose where it belongs.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. rgayer55 says:

    I wondered whatever had become of Gladys Kravitz.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I’m one of those weird people who thinks spiders are way cool! I love to watch them spin their web. When I am lucky enough to get the beautiful garden spiders I actually feed them. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  17. subroto says:

    Here in Australia we always carry a shotgun in case a giant spider comes charging at you. Though with the amount of money wasted in buying ammunition I wonder whether investing in a metal armour and a sharp sword would be better choice.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Is that just desserts? Literally?

    Liked by 2 people

  19. James McEwan says:

    Ah, where is a nosy neighbour when your’e feeling some pangs of hunger?

    Liked by 1 person

  20. …and I always thought spiders were cute!

    Click to read my FriFic!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Liz Young says:

    Listen – the first film I saw as a child was Swiss Family Robinson, in 1955, before they took the giant spider out. I have never recovered, and now you write this? Thanks a lot!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Pingback: An Interrupted Vacation | Momus News

  23. Dan Bohn says:

    I have a neighbor, I need a Silver Spider. Did I type that out loud? Ohhh I wouldn’t really do that.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. goroyboy says:

    Well Done EA! That will teach them! Hopefully the silver spider didn’t get indigestion . Hee Hee

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Pingback: 5 Fantastic Flash Fictions | Penstricken

  26. Dale says:

    I was going to say what Dan said… I have a neighbour…
    I’m thinking that the digestive system of this critter is something else… how long would it take to eat and digest? πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  27. I’m really, really glad the Silver Spider is made up, Eric. The thing must eat bones as the whole body of the nosy neighbor disappeared. The things, therefore, either got teeth or a bodily fluid like acid. It sounds like something out of Harry Potter. Good writing, Eric. πŸ˜€ — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

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