Photo by: Sandra Crook
Chief Inspector Dawkins pointed to the decrepit building. “There’s a sorcerer in there. Mayor Cranston wants us to arrest him.”
“What did he do?” said Inspector Poole.
“It took some investigating to get the truth.”
“So…?”
“Turns out, Cranston’s mistress was disappointed with his diminutive, ah….”
“What?”
“His bishop.”
“Eh?”
“Pork sword.”
“Oh! His willy.
“Right. She went to this sorcerer for help. After she drank a certain potion anything she touched would be reversed.”
“So small would become big. Makes sense.”
“Right. She held his…you know.”
“And…?”
“Mayor Cranston is now quite distressed with his…Wilma.”
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Written for the Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2018/01/24/26-january-2018/
EagleAye
Momus News 
Ha ha – don’t quite know what to say! You made me laugh anyway.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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That’s great. I love to hear it. Laughter is the whole point. Thanks kindly! 🙂
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Haha! Great story! I love the dialogue, you can hear the embarrassment from Dawkins. It reminds me of the Carol Ann Duffy poem ‘Frau Freud’. Very well done!
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So glad you could sense Dawkins’ discomfort. Thanks for the kind words. Much appreciated! 🙂
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Haha! Gender reassignment without the pain of surgery! Let’s hope the sorcerer can restore his donger…er, Johnson…er, tally whacker!
Sounds like the law of unintended consequences strikes again.
Fun story, EagleAye!
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Haha. Tallywhacker was one I wanted to add to it. I think the sorcerer can restore him, and then some. Safe to say though, the sorcerer will be moving on to another city. He no longer has a license to practice magic. 😉
Thanks Penny! 🙂
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Yikes! Reverse the reverse and quickly! Oh, by the way, I liked “pork sword.” 😀
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Haha! No kidding. As you might imagine the sorcerer wasn’t taken to jail. He went to the Mayor’s mansion for some “corrective spellwork.” Glad you enjoyed the term. I found a long list of them. I wish I could’ve used more.
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Hee hee. A funny childish snigger 🙂
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Hehe. I was sniggering over here too. 😉 Thanks Iain!
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The Liszt fan wants a two-inch pianist to carry in his pocket. Probably should have enunciated better.
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Haha! Love that old joke. And then there was the woman who wanted a submarine sandwich and mistakenly asked a witch for a Small Italian. 😉
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Lol, great use of euphemisms! And yes, those magic items never seem to work the way you expect!
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I think it’s a rule of very powerful magicks. There’s a cost to use them, and sometimes that cost is they’re far more literal-minded than us. Glad you enjoyed the euphemisms. I had fun with them too. Thanks Joy!
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I’ve seen the idea used effectively for cheap or easy-to-get magic too — if you think you’re getting more than you paid for, you might be getting something else entirely!
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Exactly! “Buyer beware.” Anything that seems too good to be true…usually is.
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Oh dear…. 🙄
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Haha! I was picturing your reply as I write this. I imagined it correctly. 😉
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Smarty 😀
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
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Thank you kindly, sir. 🙂
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I think it’s going to need a little more work… the situation, I mean.
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Hehe. Not only that needs work. After all this to-do I’m sure the Mayor’s wife will have some “interesting comments” on the entire…affair.
Thanks for stopping in Sandra. 🙂
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Really really funny! Love it.
Click to read my FriFic!
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Thanks so much, Keith!
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That was a burst out laughing ending!
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Love to hear that. Thanks so much, Dale! 🙂
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Dear Eric,
What a predicament. Glad I wasn’t eating or drinking. My keyboard is saved. Hilarious.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hehe. I’ll get that keyboard some day. 😉 Thanks most kindly, Rochelle! 🙂
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Loved the conversation between the euphemist and the straight-talking cops. LOL 😀
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I hoped folks would enjoy that. Thanks so much! 🙂
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HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! That was too funny!! Well done!
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Hehe. Thanks so much, Courtney! 🙂
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Hmm, The Cardashians should never shake hands with her!
mine:
https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2018/01/26/a-whimsical-tale/
Scott
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Haha! I think Chris Jenner already did shake her hand. 😉
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Lol
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Well done, Eric. I laughed until I stopped. I think Cranston’s wife must have touched Donald Trump’s butt. He’s twice the asshole he was before the election.
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Thank you! Great to know you had a laugh.
Apparently it was Stormy Daniels who visited the same sorcerer. And if Trump is twice the asshole (my calculations say three times) it makes me wonder what Daniels was doing with her fingers… 😉
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Ha.. reversal work in mysterious ways.
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No kidding. It’s dangerous stuff! 🙂
Thanks Bjorn!
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LOL. 🙂
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Thank you!
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