Impractical Magic

Photo by: Sandra Crook

Chief Inspector Dawkins pointed to the decrepit building. “There’s a sorcerer in there. Mayor Cranston wants us to arrest him.”

“What did he do?” said Inspector Poole.

“It took some investigating to get the truth.”


“Turns out, Cranston’s mistress was disappointed with his diminutive, ah….”


“His bishop.”


Pork sword.”

“Oh! His willy.

“Right. She went to this sorcerer for help. After she drank a certain potion anything she touched would be reversed.”

“So small would become big. Makes sense.”

“Right. She held his…you know.”


“Mayor Cranston is now quite distressed with his…Wilma.”
Written for the Friday Fictioneers:

About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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42 Responses to Impractical Magic

  1. Ha ha – don’t quite know what to say! You made me laugh anyway.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Haha! Great story! I love the dialogue, you can hear the embarrassment from Dawkins. It reminds me of the Carol Ann Duffy poem ‘Frau Freud’. Very well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. pennygadd51 says:

    Haha! Gender reassignment without the pain of surgery! Let’s hope the sorcerer can restore his donger…er, Johnson…er, tally whacker!
    Sounds like the law of unintended consequences strikes again.
    Fun story, EagleAye!

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha. Tallywhacker was one I wanted to add to it. I think the sorcerer can restore him, and then some. Safe to say though, the sorcerer will be moving on to another city. He no longer has a license to practice magic. 😉

      Thanks Penny! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. James says:

    Yikes! Reverse the reverse and quickly! Oh, by the way, I liked “pork sword.” 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Haha! No kidding. As you might imagine the sorcerer wasn’t taken to jail. He went to the Mayor’s mansion for some “corrective spellwork.” Glad you enjoyed the term. I found a long list of them. I wish I could’ve used more.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Iain Kelly says:

    Hee hee. A funny childish snigger 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The Liszt fan wants a two-inch pianist to carry in his pocket. Probably should have enunciated better.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Joy Pixley says:

    Lol, great use of euphemisms! And yes, those magic items never seem to work the way you expect!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lyn says:

    Oh dear…. 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sandra says:

    I think it’s going to need a little more work… the situation, I mean.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. Not only that needs work. After all this to-do I’m sure the Mayor’s wife will have some “interesting comments” on the entire…affair.

      Thanks for stopping in Sandra. 🙂


  10. Dale says:

    That was a burst out laughing ending!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Dear Eric,

    What a predicament. Glad I wasn’t eating or drinking. My keyboard is saved. Hilarious.



    Liked by 1 person

  12. Loved the conversation between the euphemist and the straight-talking cops. LOL 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  13. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! That was too funny!! Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Hmm, The Cardashians should never shake hands with her!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. rgayer55 says:

    Well done, Eric. I laughed until I stopped. I think Cranston’s wife must have touched Donald Trump’s butt. He’s twice the asshole he was before the election.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Thank you! Great to know you had a laugh.

      Apparently it was Stormy Daniels who visited the same sorcerer. And if Trump is twice the asshole (my calculations say three times) it makes me wonder what Daniels was doing with her fingers… 😉


  16. Ha.. reversal work in mysterious ways.

    Liked by 1 person

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