The Hypocrite

Joel loved statuary. His latest acquisition rested in the center of the garden pond. He walked by it with a smile as he carried a box to towards the fence.

He hadn’t quite reached the barrier before the raspy voice of his neighbor, Vera Colquitt, assailed his ears.

“Mr. Hollander!” she growled. “I’ve been patient with you, but this is the last straw!”

Patient? Thought Joel. Calling the cops to my house three times was patient?

“What’s the problem, Vera?”

“Pornography, Mr. Hollander. That thing, in your pond.”

Joel turned to his latest purchase. “That’s not pornography, Vera. That’s a sculpture of Poseidon and his mortal lover, Euryale. Their son, Orion could walk on water.”

“Blasphemy!”

“It’s just a Greek myth.”

“It’s perversion, Mr. Hollander. Remove that pagan idol at once!”

“Or what?”

“You’ll burn in Hell for your lustful perversions!”

“I’ll not remove it, Vera.” He held up the box. “But I will give you this. It arrived at my door. I opened it by mistake.”

“So?”

“Turns out it was addressed to you. This is yours, I’m afraid.”

“What is it?”

“Five-inch stilettos, a leather bodice, and a bull whip.”
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Written for Sunday Photo Fiction: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2018/01/28/sunday-photo-fiction-january-28th-2018/