Joel loved statuary. His latest acquisition rested in the center of the garden pond. He walked by it with a smile as he carried a box to towards the fence.
He hadn’t quite reached the barrier before the raspy voice of his neighbor, Vera Colquitt, assailed his ears.
“Mr. Hollander!” she growled. “I’ve been patient with you, but this is the last straw!”
Patient? Thought Joel. Calling the cops to my house three times was patient?
“What’s the problem, Vera?”
“Pornography, Mr. Hollander. That thing, in your pond.”
Joel turned to his latest purchase. “That’s not pornography, Vera. That’s a sculpture of Poseidon and his mortal lover, Euryale. Their son, Orion could walk on water.”
“Blasphemy!”
“It’s just a Greek myth.”
“It’s perversion, Mr. Hollander. Remove that pagan idol at once!”
“Or what?”
“You’ll burn in Hell for your lustful perversions!”
“I’ll not remove it, Vera.” He held up the box. “But I will give you this. It arrived at my door. I opened it by mistake.”
“So?”
“Turns out it was addressed to you. This is yours, I’m afraid.”
“What is it?”
“Five-inch stilettos, a leather bodice, and a bull whip.”
______________________________________
Written for Sunday Photo Fiction: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2018/01/28/sunday-photo-fiction-january-28th-2018/
Haha, what goes on behind closed doors! On a more serious note, it does feel like we have come full circle and are entering a new puritanical age where sculpture and art will need to more modest.
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I think we’ve been there a long time. You don’t see very many nudes outside much at all. In museums yes, but not in places the general public frequents. I took this pic in a sculpture garden where you must pay to get in. In America, we don’t view the human body quite the same as the ancient Greeks.
Thanks for the visit! 🙂
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Have you seen the human body of most Americans? It’s pretty far from the Greek beauty standards. 🙂
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I think you’re on to something. I was thinking it had something to do with religious mores. How naive of me!
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Ah, the classic “hypocrite in glass house throwing stones” theme — an oldie but a goody! And a great twist for this story; you had me really hoping he had some way of shutting up that nosy neighbor. And he did, hooray!
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Hehe. It’s an oldie alright and what does that tell you? People haven’t changed much in a long time. And yeah, I just had to shut her up. 😉 Thanks Joy!
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hahah – hypocrite indeed – was Vera a lawyer by an chance?
and side note –
“latest acquisition”
said so much!
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Haha! you are right! How did you guess? 😉 Thanks so much! 🙂
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just had a feeling.. lol
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I know which one I’d prefer as a neighbour. LOL I remember one lady at church counting the months after I married. She was disappointed – our daughter wasn’t born till two years later 🙂
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So true. I’d prefer a neighbor who was honest and upfront about himself even if he was weird. The person hiding something is the one you could never trust. Thanks Lyn! 🙂
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Lot of that going around in the political area today.
DJ
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It certainly is and thick as pea soup. Thanks Danny.
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What a wonderful tale illustrating the saying “a case of the kettle calling the pot black.” I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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That’s it exactly. Some people should not throw the first stone. Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks much!
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Touché! I enjoy the dialogue, very engaging
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So glad to hear that. Thanks very much! 🙂
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Ha ha ha ha ha. Poor Vera. I would have loved to see her face at that point 🙂
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Hehe. To say she was mortified would be an understatement. 😉
Thanks kindly for swinging by. 🙂
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A very beautifully crafted story. I enjoyed it to the hilt especially the part about the package that arrives. Well done Sir, and thanks for the amazing photo.
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Thank you! Glad you liked the pic too. Much appreciated. 🙂
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Not so puritanical after all! Great picture – thanks for taking it from behind!
Click to read my SunPhoFic!
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Haha! Not at all. “Methinks [she] dost protest too much.” Glad you enjoyed the pic too. Much thanks!
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Me doth thinks you protest too much… much?? Usually the very things we find wrong with others are the things that lie in secret in our own heart! 😉 Well done! ❤
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Haha! Well said! And so true. Such people rarely realize their revealing something about themselves. Thanks so much, Courtney!
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What hypocrisy? The whip is for self-flagellation, the heels are a size too small to enhance the self-torture, and the leather bodice is blessed to scare off demons.
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Hehe. Works. I’m thinking an abusive person her needs to be flagellated a bit. 😉
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In her self-righteous anger I guess she forgot about her own purchase! Or perhaps someone sent it to her just to annoy her 😀 An enjoyable read and a great photo – thanks for sharing.
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She did forget. I think she’ll never live that one down. I suspect she won’t be complaining quite so loudly in the future. Joel knows her daughter. 😉
Thanks for the visit!
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