The One Who Returned

Photo by: J Hardy Carroll

Two Mi-6 agents faced each other in a cabin 100 kilometers outside Moscow. A fire crackled in the fireplace. A bottle of vodka rested on the table. The two agents aimed their pistols at each other.”

“They say you’re a double agent,” said Agent 032. “Sorry, chap. I’ve got to bring you in.”

“It’s not true,” said Agent 027. “I’ve just got information no one wants out.” Slowly, he handed a stained picture to 032.

Agent 032 gazed at it. It was an apartment hallway with a door at the end. “What’s this?”

“57 people, most of them MI-6 agents, disappeared through that door. Only one man ever returned. He’s where I got my information.”

“Sounds dangerous. What’s beyond it?”

“An alternate Earth. Everyone there is beautiful and kind. The beer is fantastic and always free. Women are equal with men and never mistreated. There’s no disease and no war. The rich never exploit the poor to become richer. In fact there’s no rich or poor. Everyone is equal, and there’s no need for government.”

“Sounds like Utopia!”

“It is.”

“One chap returned? What kind of bloody pillock would come back from that?”

Agent 027 shrugged. “He was a politician.”
_______________________________
Written for Sunday Photo Fiction: https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com/2018/02/11/sunday-photo-fiiction-february-11th-2018/

Author’s Notes:

MI-6: “…The Secret Intelligence Service (SIS), commonly known as MI6, is the foreign intelligence service of the government of the United Kingdom…”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Intelligence_Service

Pillock (British slang): “…Noun for Idiot, fool. Originally a slang term for the penis but fairly inoffensive now its this meaning has been forgotten.”
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Pillock

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About EagleAye

I like looking at the serious subjects in the news and seeking the lighter side of the issue. I love satire and spoofs. I see the ridiculous side of things all the time, and my goal is to share that light-hearted view.
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16 Responses to The One Who Returned

  1. List of X says:

    To be fair, he didn’t return until he ruined everything there.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Deb Whittam says:

    That’s great – I love your writing, it always touches a chord

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Iain Kelly says:

    I’m happy that the politician left, if they had stayed they would have ruined that Earth too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Joy Pixley says:

    Just goes to show that there’s no such thing as a utopia that is perfect for everyone. Clearly whichever one I liked would not be liked by *certain* people in our current government! Funny piece with a nice helping of truth, Eric.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lyn says:

    LOL definitely MI-6 agents. No one but the Brits call someone a bloody pillock…well, I have been known to use the term occasionally 😀 Thank goodness he came back – there’s nothing there for him.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. JS Brand says:

    An amusing take on the prompt, with a good punchline.
    Thank you for explaining the origin of “pillock” too. As a Brit I’ve used the word lots of times, often referring to myself, but I’ve never thought to research its etymology (that reminds me, I must look up “etymology”).

    Liked by 1 person

    • EagleAye says:

      Hehe. Thank you! My pleasure explaining the word pillock. Most of us use such words without studying their origins. For some real fun lookup the origin of f**k, or the f-bomb. You’d never expect what it originates from. It’s quite surprising.

      Liked by 1 person

      • JS Brand says:

        I’ll do that, although it will remind me of free periods at school, spending ages scouring through the slang dictionary in the library. That book was more well-thumbed than anything by Shakespeare.

        Liked by 1 person

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