Photo by: Fatima Fakier Deria
Hugh Paxton sat at the table beneath the pine. He checked his pocket watch, expecting that fabulous inventor, Brighton Waldrop, to return to 1803 any moment.
Light flashed and the ornate time machine appeared. Waldrop joined Paxton with a relieved sigh.
“How was the future, old boy?”
“Wondrous and terrifying all at once!”
“Eh?”
Waldrop produced a cell phone. “This is the future’s phone.”
“Good God! Marvelous!”
“Almost.” Waldrop brought up his Facebook account. “You know Mrs. Zuckerberg, perchance?”
“Gads! World’s worst rumor monger. Shares everyone’s secrets with everyone.”
“Well her descendant, Mark, now shares secrets on an industrial scale!”
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Written for The Friday Fictioneers: https://rochellewisoff.com/2018/03/28/30-march-2018/
Author’s Notes:
Before anyone calls me on it: taking a cell phone back the 1800s means it wouldn’t be connected, true. However it still could bring up your Facebook and display the cached posts in offline mode.
If you’ve been living in the woods and off the grid, then you wouldn’t know about the Facebook data scandal.
https://www.gq.com/story/zuckerberg-sorry-your-data-stolen
In defense of Facebook, they are trying to do something about the breach.
https://www.wired.com/story/new-facebook-privacy-settings/
EagleAye
Momus News 
Uh oh. I fear for Mrs. Zuckerberg’s life should these two gentlemen decided to change future history.
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Or perhaps the lives of her progeny. Certainly, Mr. Waldrop might leave a missive to his descendants about the value of Facebook stock purchases. 😉
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That’s an interesting concept, James. There is always a danger of that sort of thing happening if time travel ever became a reality
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I can’t even begin to tell you how much this story delighted me. He’s not just sharing secrets, he’s selling them to the highest bidder!
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So glad to hear you enjoyed it. And yeah, he sold that info to soulless organization and trusted them to manage it responsibly. Pish-posh! I hope Zuckerberg hasn’t purchased any bridges lately. 😉
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Ha, very good topical post. I am amazed that everyone is so surprised by this news, I thought it was fairly obvious that your Facebook data was collected. I’m also curious what data everyone is putting on the internet that they are now upset they told the world about.
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Totally agree. I’ve never completed all those questions Facebook asks to “Complete your profile.” Why on Earth do they need it? I just post pics there. They don’t need anything else. Thanks much, Iain!
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I’m the exact same, and more fool anyone who does post something they later decide they want to keep private!
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Oh Lawsy! This is funny-not funny… 🙂
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I know exactly what you mean. 😉 Thanks Dale!
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Up there on Zuckerberg’s farm!
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Haha! No doubt. 🙂
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I don’t think that Mark himself shares all that much. He’s mainly counting on our sharing to make him billions.
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A good drug dealer never uses his own product. 😉
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I live in the woods, have never been on Facebook — and you’re making me so glad now. However, would you mind going back and deleting every comment I’ve ever left on your blog. I’m sure I’ve said something politically incorrect at some point, and don’t want the world to know that I don’t think like everybody else. 😉
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Hehe. Good for you. You’re probably better off. And sorry, I’m keeping your well thought out comments. I applaud and encourage people who don’t think like just anybody and do think outside the box. 🙂 Thanks Christine!
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So if the Free Speech Modifier Squad tosses me in the clink, will you come visit me? Or will you be in the next cell. 😉
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Haha! If I’m not in there with you, I’ll bring you flowers and a cake with a small saw inside. 😉
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LOL! Too true! I read a biography about him in which they mention he got himself in trouble in college by posting pictures of co-eds, comparing them to each other and various animals. It went viral.
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Yipes! I’ll bet he got into big trouble for that one. Thanks for the visit, Alice. 🙂
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On FB the idea is to keep your family and friends close and their friends far away.
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Haha. That sounds like a good policy. 🙂 Thanks Lyn!
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Like others, I’m amazed people are so suprised by these latest revelations. This was a timely and light-handed reponse – good one.
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So true. Perhaps folks will be more careful with their personal details going forward. Thanks Sandra! 🙂
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Dear Eric,
I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I’ve made good friends on it. But it’s become, at times, such a hostile place. Love this take and laughed out loud at Mrs. Zuckerberg. (I know better than to be drinking at the same time 😉 )
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My Dad once said, “I HATE Facebook.” Not his thing, apparently. Most of the time I’ve visited it sparingly, and my profile is largely empty. I’ve also seen the bizarre hostility you mention. I just don’t understand that. Oh well, I’m glad Mrs Zuckerberg was still good for a laugh. Thanks Rochelle!
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Another Friday Fictioneers post from EagleAye, another chortle! I really enjoyed this story. It’s an entertaining foray into historical SF
Actually I love Facebook. It’s how I know what my children and grandchildren are doing – and all with colour pictures too!
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Nice! I love sharing chortle here and there. And actually Hannah’s grandparents are keeping up with her via Facebook too. There’s more pics of her than of me in my account. 😉 Thanks Penny!
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What would we do without all those recipes and silly videos? Great post, Eric. I chortled too.
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Ooh, I do like the recipes. We gotta keep those. Humorous memes too. 😉 That’s two chortles so far. I’m on a roll! 😉 Thanks Russell.
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What a great story! Made me laugh.
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Love it. I write these things for laughs. Thanks much!
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And, BTW, there are some things I hate about FB, but others that I really love. I hate it when people write mushy love letters to other people. Keep it private, folks. I hate it when a completely innocent comment stirs up a firestorm of anger and spite. Clue: If you ever do click on a news-type line, don’t read the comments. Your literacy rate will drop like a rock. Your cursing vocab will increase. Stupidity is rampant, and if no one else will listen to Stupid, then Stupid will post it on Facebook.
However, I love keeping up with kids and grandkids; love the pics they post; and I love some of the really funny videos I get to see. I also use FB to publicize both my blogs. I do NOT publish anything criminal or embarrassing, although if the Politically Correct crowd has any say, I will probably end up in a cell next to Christine.
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Haha! I am totally behind you. There is some really strange stuff going in FB. It’s weird to see people you know having a a very public argument on Facebook. It’s like they’re airing their dirty laundry in front of everybody.
But then on the other hand, my wife and I belong to a group about birdwatching and some of them are terrific photographers. I belong to a group about writing and it’s helpful and inspiring. I’m posting pics of my daughter and the family really loves it. In such cases FB really shines and does, what I believe, it’s really for.
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Great story. Loved the bit about the phone.
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Hehe. Thanks so much. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
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Haha, fun and topical, nice one!
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Thanks kindly! 🙂
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As I was telling a friend the other day, I wish I was important enough for me to have any secrets that Facebook could steal and sell to the highest bidder 🙂
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Haha! Be careful what you wish for now. 😉
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A timely take indeed! Love it or hate it, it’s now part of most peoples lives.
Click to read my 99 words!
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It is true. I’m on Facebook too. Perhaps it will be even better after this. Thanks Keith!
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I loved this contemporary dig at today’s social media society . Well done. However, in a future with no secrets – beware of the shadows beneath your bed. Just saying.
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Thank you! I have no idea what the future holds. I’m sure no one expected social media to take hold so completely. I use Facebook myself. I just see it as a tool that, like a dangerous saw, needs to be wielded carefully.
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Hahah – a killer last line.
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Hehe. Thanks so much! 🙂
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Hilarious! Well done.
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Thank you! 🙂
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